Newest Accounts

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Young mother drowns in sailing accident

It was a windy day for sailing our 18’ “Flying Dutchman” sailboat with 3 onboard, my husband at tiller, his father (crew) and I was attached to a “trapeze” for ballast.  My harness was velcroed to my waist with a “quick release” toggle (the trapeze wire was attached to top of mast).

My husband asked his dad to lean back for more ballast as a gust hit our sails. Dad leaned forward and the boat capsized, and I found myself trapped under 15’ of water.   My harness would not disconnect. I panicked and expelled all my air (after about 30 seconds of struggling with the harness).  I also clearly remember I sucked in a lot of water in my lungs and shortly after gave up fighting my drowning and “gave in” to death.  

At that point I vividly remember seeing a white light. I felt absolutely calm, happy, eager to join the other dying people going to the light. I felt family members (ie, Grandmother, Grandfather) with me, helping me, guiding me.  I remember other souls, more white in appearance and winged (ie, angels) helping me.  As I approached the end of this tunnel to the light, I heard a clear male voice say to me, “Go back, it’s not your time, you have a son to take care of.” My son was about a year old at the time.

Those words jarred me back to my bad situation but gave me strength to fight some more, and at the same time my husband began to dive down with a mouthful of air to “buddy breathe” me to wellness.  He also got my harness to release (on third dive down), and I bolted to the water's surface to find I was under the boat, breathing stale air!  I dove down again, through ropes and sails, to finally reach the surface to breathe “that blue air.”

I was under the water for almost 3 minutes, according to my husband and his father.

I will never forget this NDE and feel blessed to know how pleasant the next stage will be (after my death).  I am not afraid, have experienced a few close calls with my health since then, still not afraid. I also believe and read and practice constantly spirituality, meditation, compassion, etc., trying to make sense of this event.

The physical world we experience is part of something vastly more complex

By way of background, I am an Ivy-educated professional in the field of information technology. I've studied philosophy extensively in academic and other settings. Prior to my experience I was an agnostic with regard to the existence of God or other non-corporeal entities. My opinion on the matter was that reason and science are the only sources of knowledge, and science/reason has nothing to say on these matters and likely never will. 

In early 2018 my ex-wife left me and took our then 9-month-old daughter (my first and only child). I fell into a deep depression; couldn't work; quit my job; and had to sell my house because I could no longer afford it. I decided instead to purchase a small camper, which I lived out of for approximately 6 months. Throughout my wandering in the woods, I felt an overwhelming sense of dread---almost too painful to even think about---that my daughter would never know me as her dad. 

During a long drive home alone (approximately 11 hours) this dread began to overwhelm me. Suddenly I felt as though a golden light carrying an inaudible message struck me from above and slightly behind the left side of my head. The message in that light was, "You will be your daughter's dad." I was so overwhelmed by the peace and relief of this message that I doubled over and began sobbing and saying aloud, "Thank You," while driving. 

I finished the drive in the evening. When I arrived home, I was exhausted, so I went to bed. As I lay supine, I began to feel an unfamiliar vibration throughout my body. Specifically, every part of my body touching the bed (my back, arms, legs, etc.) began vibrating. It continued and intensified for a few second, so I sat up partially to look at my body and see what was happening. At this point my back was off the bed at about a 30 deg angle to the ground. My legs still straight out in front of me. 

When I opened my eyes (I was not asleep) I saw what I can only describe as a beam or string of lights (somewhat similar to a bundle of fiber optics). I can't remember the color, but I believe it was a combination of white, pink, and blue. The light was either flowing into or out of the spot on my forehead between my eyes, approximately 1cm above the bridge of my nose. The light flowed most of the length of my body and turned approximately 40 degrees to the left and continued in that direction. 

Instinctively, I got on my knees and faced in the direction that light was flowing (to? or from?). When I did that, the vibrating in my body stopped, except for in my hands. At this point I began to feel overwhelmed and a little scared, so I threw myself back face-down on the bed. After I calmed down, I tried to go back to sleep, again in a supine position.

After several seconds or maybe a few minutes, I became aware of an entity floating about 5 feet in the air, slightly above, in front, and to the left of me. This entity was made of brilliant green-yellow light. The light appeared to be pouring forth from the entity. The closest physical description I can give would be of a female form in a seated meditative pose. Though there was movement in the entity in the sense of flowing or pouring light, the entity didn't change its position in the room. 

I would estimate that the entity remained there for a few minutes (>5). The entity had a distinctly female feel to it, and my interaction with it was playful, loving, and very erotic. It felt very closely related to both my ex-wife and my daughter, and as the experience progressed I almost convinced myself that I was communicating with my ex-wife somehow.

While the entity was present, a couple other things happened, though it's hard for me to say what order they occurred or whether they were during or after the presence of the entity. In no particular order...

I felt as though I were in a small amphitheater (no visuals, just the feeling) surrounded by familiar people, some of whom I thought I recognized. (Note: All of the people whose presence I felt were alive at the time of the event.) The overwhelming sense I got from those present were messages of joy/elation that I had finally made it there; that I was loved; and that everything would be okay for everyone in the world.

I had an instantaneous flash of life review. It felt more spatial than sequential. The best way I can describe it is this: I've always been a pretty messy person. My life review took the form of a large disorganized room, and in that instant I was able to see how all the parts of my life were connected to one another. I could see and feel how I had hurt people I cared about out of my own carelessness. I felt a great sense of interconnectedness and oneness with everything in the universe. I no longer feared death because it was so patently obvious that death was illusory.

Prior to this experience I had an uncommonly deep fear of my own death. That fear had been intensified by my service in combat. This experience ended that fear, and it hasn't come back.

As a result of my experience, my understanding of the nature of the universe has changed entirely. It's now clear to me that the physical world we experience is part of something vastly more complex with facets that I never before would have believed possible. I became far more interested in being in nature and more interested in talking to and connecting with other people.

Childhood NDE and visitations finally understood after 50 years

Introduction

This short story recounts the repressed

memory of a near death experience that

opened the door to the spiritual and

psychic world to a six-year-old boy.

Read how the other side reaches out to

be heard. Read as neighbors want to be

found and continue to reach out day

after day after passing away until they

are found. Read how others that just

have a message to be heard continue to

reach out and talk to this young boy

through his dreams...

Chapter One

Just a Coincidence

There is a young boy who has a

dream about his grandfather. In

the dream his grandfather and him are

sitting on the beds in the room that he

shares with his brother. His grandfather

would come to their home in the

summer to visit. He would sit on his

brother’s bed and tell him stories about

his past adventures. During one of those

times that his grandfather visited, he

told him all about his life and his

travels. His grandfather was born in

1887 in Illinois. He had been to South

America and back before going on to

fight in the trenches of France in the

First World War. The boy would get to

see the scars that his grandfather got in

battle. Always fascinated with his

grandfather’s stories of his exploits, he

would be transported to a far-off place

each time his grandfather would tell a

new episode of his life.

In this dream of his grandfather, his

grandfather is sitting on the bed where

he always sat during his visits. There

with a big smile on his face, his

grandfather begins to say, “Where I am

now is a beautiful place.” The boy looks

at his grandfather and can’t help but

smile. Then his grandfather says, “I feel

wonderful.” When his grandfather says

this a very happy feeling, a feeling of

wellbeing comes over him and the boy

smiles back at his grandfather. Then his

grandfather continues to say, “You tell

everybody, I'll be here when they get

here” and wagging his index finger he

says, “You tell your dad I’ll be waiting

for him.”

When the young boy wakes up from the

dream. He says, I just had the most

amazing dream about my grandfather.

He realized that it was very different

from other dreams. He didn’t really

know how to describe the dream or why

it seemed so real. He gets up from his

bed and he goes out of his room. When

he does, he sees his dad walking down

the hallway. His dad had a very sad look

on his face. The boy says to his father,

“What's wrong?” In a low, sad voice

his dad says, “we just got a phone call

that your grandpa passed away last

night”.

Well, the boy didn't put the two things

together. He didn’t tell his dad about the

dream and he didn’t tell his dad what his

grandpa had to say. He grows up having

all of his friends and relatives come by

the same way when they pass away. In

a dream, everyone has their own way of

coming through. Now he thinks it's all

just a coincidence that all his friends

and relatives come by when they pass

away. He thinks to himself, “Well I

must have just been thinking about

them.”

Chapter Two

A Reason to Believe

Year after year go by and the

numerous people, friends and

relatives continue to visit when they

pass away. Those dreams, like the one

of his grandfather, stay with him like

they happened yesterday. Now some

forty years later and he is married with

three kids. He takes his wife to a baby

shower and there he meets the young

mother to be for less than a minute

saying, “It’s lovely to meet you, I'll be

back to get my wife later.”

Six months later, he's

meditating/napping in the afternoon

and he gets this young lady that comes

to him in the middle of his nap. Just like

all his friends and family that come to

him in the dreams... right before he

wakes up. This is in the middle of the

afternoon, so it's not the same as the

rest, very different this time.

During the dream, the girl is projecting

a bedroom and a hallway that they are

both standing in and she is looking into

the bedroom and staring back at him.

He looks at her and looks around trying

to figure out where they are and who

she is. He doesn’t know who she is

when she begins to say one thing and

one thing only over and over and over.

As she continues to look into the room

and back at him and she says, “please,

please save my baby, save my baby. Oh,

please come and save my baby.” so

compassionately, so filled with

emotion.

As he wakes up from this dream and he

is emotionally devastated. He is very

upset and doesn’t know why, it takes at

least an hour before he composed

himself. A couple hours later his wife

calls him on the phone. She says, in a

low slow voice “Put it on the news, the

police and the fire department are at my

girlfriend's house

her daughter passed away this afternoon

of an asthma attack and the baby

suffocated in her lap.”

He says, “You don’t mean that girl I

met for less than a minute six months

ago?” She says, “yes”. At that moment

a deep somber feeling overtakes him, as

he realizes that this is not just a

coincidence.

It becomes apparent that everybody

who has ever passed away and found

their way to him in his dreams. Aunts,

uncles, friends, strangers and so many

more. It has all been for real. He looks

back at his life and every year that

passes, he recalls all those many dreams

of all those people that came by when

they passed away. He never thought it

was real. Each one plays like a

YouTube video so vivid - imprinted on

his memory and filled with so much

emotion.

Chapter Three

Grandma

As he remembers each and every

one that had ever passed away.

One of the earliest persons to visit is his

grandmother on his mom’s side. He

remembered that she was a very loving

person and the widow of a fallen police

officer. She raised seven children in the

1930’s as a restaurant owner and a

cook. He remembers going to South

Texas to visit.

His mom was raised in the border town

of Rio Grande City, Texas. As a family,

they would go to visit and stay for a few

days always enjoying the time he had

there. His grandmother would bake

wonderful meringue pies and put them

on a shelf in the window for everyone

to see and smell.

He remembers the first time his family

went to see his grandma. She had a

porch swing and his mom and grandma

sat on it together. He remembers being

held by his grandma as she exclaimed

how cute he was - just like any grandma

would do.

When his grandmother passed away,

she was the first to come to him through

his dream. Until the realization and

recall of all the people who had passed,

he did not remember her visit. Being so

young that he did not remember that she

came before his grandfather. In this

dream, both were standing in that space,

an endless and vast space filled with

emptiness. The young boy did not know

where they were.

He was afraid and had a very uneasy

feeling never experiencing a dream so

real, it was like being awake in a dream.

When she started to ask about the things

that he liked to do, it seemed like she

was sad. This was not something he

remembered about his grandmother.

He had never seen his grandma sad or

upset so he didn’t know what to think.

They talked about what he did and how

he would spend his time during the day.

He told her that he liked running around

the backyard and playing with his little

white poodle dog was one of his

favorite things. This time she was

projecting resentful, aggravated

feelings as she continued to question

him. “What else”? she asked angrily.

The young boy told her that he would

go to the kitchen and fix a bowl of

cereal and watch cartoons in the living

room on Saturday mornings. She said,

“You can’t do that here.” She projected

a sense of sadness and separation.

Now with even more fear and sadness,

he wakes up from the dream shaking

from fear and he begins to cry. Unsure

of what had just happened, he goes into

his parent’s room whimpering.

Standing next to his dad’s side of the

bed with tears running down his face, he

wanted to wake his parents that were

facing him… but they were asleep.

The boy did not want to wake his dad or

mom. He was so confused and could

not understand what had just happened.

While still shaking from the experience,

the young boy knelt down and placed

his head on the bed next to his dad

trying to get some sense of peace and

the chance to calm down.

For some reason, he knew that it was

more than just a dream. It was so real

and filled with so much emotion. It

took at least thirty minutes for him to

calm down and fall asleep.

When he woke up at dawn, he went

back to his room and he did not tell

anyone about the bad dream. Later that

day, his mom was packing to leave with

relatives for a trip to South Texas and

they told him his grandma had passed

away. He was so young that he really

did not understand and he did not ask

any questions. He knew it was

something important because there was

such a big frenzy and everyone was sad

and concerned.

Chapter Four

Dream On

Growing up he did not

understand how he was able to

control different aspects of his dreams.

That is why he did not think much about

the dreams when his relatives came to

visit. The other dreams were just that,

right?

When he was sixteen, he had a dream

about going to the movies with a new

acquaintance. In the dream he and his

new friend are standing in the lobby of

the theater. When this guy bumps into

his friend and begins to pick a fight.

This guy says to his friend, “I’m going

to kick your ass.”. His friend says” no,

you are not because my friend knows

Taekwondo.” The guy says to him, “ok

come on, I am going to kick your ass.”

He steps back and tells the guy “I don’t

want to fight” and that he doesn’t want

any problems. The guy begins to come

at him, so he slips his shoes off and

prepares to defend himself.

The guy begins to swing at him, so he

begins to bounce on the balls of his feet

as the guy approaches closer, he does a

roundhouse kick to the side of the guy’s

head and down he goes. His new friend

starts to say” I didn’t see the kick. I

didn’t see the kick”.

When he wakes up from that dream, he

says that dream was strange, however

he’s not sure why. Asking himself, why

is that dream so different from all the

others. It stands out from the rest,

imprinted on his memory. Going

through his day that dream lingers in the

back of his mind. He continues to think

about the dream for a couple of days.

Now as the week progresses, the dream

fades into a distant memory. As always,

he goes to his brother’s apartment to

hang out. There he would sit around

and play guitar with other musicians.

This brother’s apartment was where

other musicians like to hang out. His

brothers were ten years older, so at

sixteen, he could hang out with the

older crowd.

In the following days his brothers

invite him over to their apartment to

hang out for a while. As they do this,

their roommate's brother-in-law Bill

comes over and hangs out for a short

time. Bill asked him if he would like to

go shoot some pool. He says sure and

they headed off to the nearest pool hall.

When they drive into town, they find

the nearest pool hall and go in. The

place is full on a Saturday night so after

only a short time they leave for another

place. When the exit someone bumps

into Bill and says “I’m going to kick

your ass.”. Bill says” no you’re not my

friend knows Taekwondo.” So, the guys

says to him ok come on I am going to

kick your ass. He steps back and says,

“I don’t want to fight” and that he does

not want any problems. The guy begins

to come at him, so he slips his shoes off

and prepares to defend himself. The guy

begins to swing at him so he begins to

bounce on the balls of his feet. As the

guy approaches closer, he does a

roundhouse kick to the side of his head

and down he goes. At that point Bill

starts to say the same thing in the

dream” I didn’t see the kick. I didn’t see

the kick”.

Now he remembers the dream and says

to Bill “we have got to go”. After that

dream he thinks that there is something

going on but does not understand what

is happening or why. He had other

dreams but not like that. He saw things

in dreams play out in real life but never

affecting him directly. He would be

aware of being in a dream and

controlling different parts in his dream.

What he found out later that he was able

to do what was called lucid dreaming,

A lucid dream is a dream during which

the dreamer is aware of being in a

dream and can control aspects of the

dream, this type of dreaming had been

happening for a long time. This time he

decides that he doesn’t want to know

the future like that so the lucid

dreaming stops and changes in his sleep

pattern begins.

Chapter Five

Uncle Dutch

Another special family member

to visit was his Uncle Dutch,

his dad’s brother. Uncle Dutch was the

young boy’s only uncle on his dad’s

side so he had a special place in their

family. He was very nice, friendly and

generous. The young boy’s dad and

uncle operated a print shop together as

young men before they were married.

They were very close and stayed close

the whole time the young boy was

growing up.

Later on, Uncle Dutch was in the oil

business and was a millionaire several

times in his life. He had a big white

house that was very large in the mind of

a young boy. There were many fond

memories of the great times in Houston

at Uncle Dutch’s house during summer

vacation. He would go to the movies

and meet some of his cousin’s

neighborhood friends. Christmas was

always so much fun and his cousins

would receive gifts like go-carts. One

was black with seating for two. The boy

remembers having such a good time

watching everyone taking turns driving

in the big circle drive way.

The night his Uncle Dutch passed away

was when he visited the boy (now a

young man) in his dreams for the first

time. Uncle Dutch projected the image

of the front yard of the young man’s

house. It was like he walked out of his

front door on a beautiful spring day.

The sun was shining and there was an

unusual glow around the trees. The

trees had leaves that were a sparkling

brilliant color green and his uncle was

standing on the path that lead to the

door. Uncle Dutch walked up the path

to where he was standing on the porch.

He smiled and seemed to be very happy

by projecting an intense feeling of joy,

a comforting feeling that touched the

young man’s spirit.

He wanted to know where his brother

was at. He asked it like he was there to

pick up the young man’s dad so they

could go somewhere. He said “where’s

your dad?”. The young man replied that

his dad wasn’t there but his mom was

there. The young man turned to get his

mom thinking that Uncle Dutch would

talk to her instead. Uncle Dutch

stopped the young man before he could

turn to get his mom and he said, “I’ll be

back for her later.” He smiled and there

was a compassionate and warmhearted

feeling that came from him.

The second time his Uncle Dutch

visited, was sometime later after he

passed away. He came with his first

wife by his side. At the time, the boy’s

dad was having heart surgery and he

was so concerned about the outcome.

During the visit, his uncle looked at the

young man and then at his Aunt Helen

and said, “I guess they need another

miracle.” They both smiled at the young

man and he woke up. The boy who

had grown into a young man, was so

scared because his dad’s surgery was a

quadruple bypass and a valve

replacement. The doctors were

surprised at the surgery. They said that

it went faster than usual and that his

recovery was remarkable. I believe that

was the miracle they were talking about

in their visit.

Chapter Six

Aunt Helen

Uncle Dutch’s first wife was

named Helen. They all met in

college, when mom and dad along with

dad’s brother Uncle Dutch went to

college in Austin. Just before all of his

cousins and his brothers were born. The

boy’s mom and dad, his Uncle Dutch

and Aunt Helen operated the print shop

and spent a lot of time together. The boy

always remembered seeing pictures of

the four of them at the beach and having

fun. Pictures of the four of them at his

grandma’s restaurant.

After the print shop, his Aunt and Uncle

moved to Houston and his mom and dad

moved to Dallas. That's when they

bought their first house and started

having kids.

Aunt Helen was always so nice and

happy the whole time she and Uncle

Dutch were married. One day the boy

found out that his Aunt and Uncle got

separated, soon after they separated, the

boy and his brothers didn’t visit Houston

very much. During that time, he didn’t

see her much and then not at all after

that. She was so very nice as he

remembers, she was always bringing all

the kids drinks and snacks when

everyone comes to stay in Houston

during summer vacation. Aunt Helen

would take all the kids to the movies

and then she would take them all to the

mall.

When his Aunt Helen visited as she

passed, she projected a warmly lit

space. That warmly lit space was filled

with a loving spirit that was extremely

optimistic. She projected a friendly

cheerful bright smile that made the

young boy feel loved and empowered.

She was happy and filled with a

rejoicing spirit that made the boy feel

like it was a comforting warm embrace.

There was a message of everlasting love

as she gave him a positive and upbeat

empowering spirit. She also gave him

an acknowledgment of his connection

with heaven. He was not sure what she

meant or what she was inferring. As she

looked at him, she conveyed a warm

farewell, expressing good wishes as she

parted. Still not convinced that the

dreams mean something he continues to

think it’s all just a coincidence.

Chapter Seven

Little Joe

During the seventies, everybody

wanted to be in a rock and roll

band. Just like everyone else, the young

boy had grown up and joined a

neighborhood garage band. A brother’s

band, his two older brothers and the

young man formed a band after playing

with his high school friends for three

years. They were popular in that circle

and would play at different people’s

houses all around town. They met a kid

named Little Joe from a friend named

Barry that lived on the same street.

They would play at Barry’s house and

Little Joe was always there. He invited

the three brothers over to play at his

house often because of the big pool

house in his backyard. Little Joe was a

musician so they had something in

common. The three brothers continued

to go there for at least a year before they

stopped hanging out with Little Joe.

A couple of years later, the young man

was napping one afternoon and had a

most unusual visitation. Someone he

had not seen in some while comes to

him in a dream. There is Little Joe off

in the distance. The young man is

standing in this vast empty space that is

dimly lit. It has a solemn feeling

coming from within. Then the young

man sees Little Joe with an impressive

show of agility that seemed to be

inexhaustible as he moved around the

vast empty space. What seemed like

flying to the young man as Little Joe

would fly right up to the young man’s

face and out again. Around and around

in a big circle then flying into a figure

eight before flying back to his face. He

must have done this action two or three

times before the young man yelled his

name in a frustration. “Little Joe”!

He was so upset because he wanted to

talk, and Little Joe would not stop

flying around and around. Again, he

would fly right up to the young man’s

face and then project a feeling of

confusion and bewilderment. Little Joe

would fly back to the young man’s

vicinity and then fly back out projecting

hesitation and wonderment at the same

time. There were so many emotions and

feelings. The unusual place Little Joe

found himself in now, with his

consciousness freed from his body. This

was an unlimited and vast landscape

where he could move without

restrictions. He struggles to understand

what has happened and where he is at.

After Little Joe continued this for

several minutes, the young man yelled

his name again with a feeling of peace

and certainty of the place like his

grandfather spoke of. As he continued

to project a feeling of going into the

light. He says with very strong

conviction to “go into the light”. So off

he goes, he flies off to an opening

bristling with light and the young man

wakes up. The young man never tells

someone to go into the light and he does

not know why he said that. At the time,

he still did not believe that any of this

was real. That is the reason for the

surprise when he said, what he said, “go

into the light” in the dream.

Chapter Eight

Bobby

Bobby was one of a dozen

neighborhood friends that the

young man grew up with. Bobby lived

across the street and a few houses down.

When they were growing up there were

five in the close group. They would play

the same street games as every other

neighborhood group of kids played.

The five closer friends grew up with

Bobby who seemed to be the one

everyone picked on one way or the

other. They saw his older brother

picking on him and that led to others

doing the same. They went to school

together until he left school to get

married.

When Bobby passed away, he projected

a small white room where they both

were standing. He was looking at the

young man with a sense of loss and

remorse. As the boy looked around the

room to try and identify where he was.

His friend continued to project a feeling

of regret as he looked at the young boy.

This visit was brief, and the young man

did not know what to think of his

messages of loss and remorse until

later.

Sometime later the young man saw

Bobby’s sister and she told him that

Bobby had taken his own life due to the

separation from his wife and child.

Chapter Nine

Mr. Man at the Gas

Station

When the young man was

growing up there was a gas

station near the restaurant that his mom

and dad owned. His dad would take

him there sometimes to get air in the

tires and get gas. That is when the

young man met the gas station man.

The young man would go and visit the

gas man when he walked around the

shopping center. When he got bored at

the restaurant, he would go walk around

and visit the retailers letting them know

that his parents owned the restaurant in

the shopping center. At only eight years

old, he was very adventurous for his

age. He would meet a lot of people

during these walks around the

restaurant. He made friends in the

neighborhood and at the other

businesses. The gas man was one of

these many friends. He would let the

young man watch him work on the cars.

When the young man woke from the

dream about the gas man, he thought

how real the dream was. Just as if he

were standing at the gas station, in the

bay where they would talk about the

day, and the strange thing about the bay

was it was white, very clean and unlike

the way it was when the young man was

there. We stood there, where he just

smiled conveying a sense of wellbeing

and happiness. The young man was just

looking around at the brilliantly lit

space. As he turned his head to see

outside, he could see into a vast endless

white space. He turned to look back and

was at the gas station again. As the gas

station man is leaving, he says with a

smile… then the young man wakes up not

being able to finish the dream. There

were feelings of happiness and sadness

at the same time. Then the confusion

sets in and he wonders what it all

means.

Chapter Ten

The Water Feels Great

When he gets back to the age

of six he remembers that

every year they would go to Houston on

summer vacation. His uncle had a huge

house and a big swimming pool and

they would get to go play every summer

in the swimming pool. He looked

forward to going to his uncle’s house

because of the pool.

One morning everybody was eating

breakfast and he goes out to the

swimming pool by himself. He sits on

the first step and the water is up to his

waist and he thinks to himself that the

water feels great. He sits on the next

step and the water is up to his chest, and

he thinks that it feels even better. He

stands up and wades back from the

steps and gets further and further away

from the shallow end of the pool.

Now centered in the deep end of the

pool he starts to struggle to stay on top

of the water. As the water begins to go

over his head, he fights his way back up

on top. He is totally out of breath and

looks around and does not see anybody,

but he does not panic. He really does

not know what is about to happen. As

the water goes over his head for the

second time, again he fights his way

back up on top of the water. At this

point, he cannot catch his breath and as

he looks around, he still does not see

anybody. As the water again rises over

his head for the third time, everything

turns white and a peaceful calm comes

over him. Immediately he is floating

above the pool looking down, but he

does not realize that he has left his body

or that he is floating above the pool. He

just looks around for a few seconds then

he sees the curtains on the sliding glass

door start to open. He sees his Uncle

Bill standing in the open door and

begins to run out to the side of the pool.

He takes off his socks and shoes and

goes into the water. A few seconds

later, he emerges with the young man’s

body and lays it down next to the sliding

glass door. As he does, he says, “I

recognize Uncle Bill but who is that he

laid down and who is that he pulled out

of the water.?” His Uncle Bill gave him

a slap with the palm of his hand across

the face, a little water comes out and

immediately the young boy is back in

his body. At that point, he remembers

and says to himself “I had a near-death

experience. I died, left my body and

that is what opened up the door to the

spiritual and psychic world.”

Chapter Eleven

Reaching Out

Now with this realization he

thinks maybe it is over. He

and his wife are moving to a new house.

He meets the neighbors infrequently

about three or four times in three years

that they live there. One morning he

wakes up from one of these dreams, he

knows is just like all the rest, but this is

a little different. This dream is dark and

depressing with lots of sadness and

sense of separation. There is no image

projected but it feels like his mom has

passed away.

Reluctantly he calls his mom's house

and she is just fine. What a relief. Ok,

now that it was not his mom, it must

have been nothing. The next morning,

he wakes up from the exact same dream

...dark and depressing, sadness,

separation anxiety and there is no

image, but it feels like his mom has

passed away. So again, he calls his

mom's house, and everything is fine.

“Great, it must be me.”

Night after night, the same dream over

and over it continues to happen for 10

days in a row. On the tenth day in the

afternoon, he is trying to get in his front

door. He has a long path he has to walk

to get to his front door. As he takes a

few steps walking up the path,

something draws him to look across the

street. When he does, he looks at the

house that is directly across the street

from his house and he does not think

anything about it. He says to himself

“that’s Debbie’s house - so what?” and

he tries to walk up his path to his front

door. Taking a few steps, again

something draws him to turn around

94

and look at the neighbor's house. Again,

he just acknowledges it is the

neighbor’s house, “that is just Debbie’s

house” and again he tries to walk up his

path to his front door.

As he tries to make his way up the path

for the third time, something forces him

to stop and look at the neighbor's house

across the street. When he does, he

makes a few more observations ... the

mailbox is full and overflowing,

previous holiday decorations are still

out, newspapers are piled up out front.

Then all the emotion from the dream

starts flooding out of the house at him.

He starts to feel all the sadness,

separation anxiety and depression. He

starts to well up inside and then he

begins to tear up. At that point, he

realizes “wow” that must be where this

dream has been coming from, the

neighbor across the street.

The neighbor that lives on one side of

Debbie is named Kim, an ex-police

officer. He calls her, he knows her a

little bit better. He calls Kim and says,

“Hey, you know Debbie better than I

  1. do. Why don’t you give her a call and

see how she's doing?” Kim calls back

and says, “there is no answer.”

He says, “Why don't you call the police

and fire departments to make a welfare

check?” She says, “Well, why do you

want to do that?” He says, “I haven't

seen her in a while, I think maybe we

should call. I will tell you more later,

but I just think it’s a good idea that you

call.” She calls the police. The police

and fire department show up a few

minutes later.

About an hour later they kicked the

door in, and sure enough Debbie had

passed away back in her bedroom…

dead for about 10 days.

Chapter Twelve

Family Attachment

Now Kim asked him, “How did

you know that she was dead?”

He says, “Well, I have friends and

relatives that come to me in dreams

when they pass away. I always thought

that it was a coincidence, just my

imagination. This time I have been

having this same dream for the last 10

days and I could not understand who it

was or where they were. Until today

when I was walking up to my house.”

Kim says, “My brother passed away off

a cruise ship in July. Can you call him?”

He says, “No, my name is not John

Edwards and that is not how this works.

I just can’t call Heaven. They have to

come to me.”

Anyway, her brother must have been

attached to her because that night he has

this dream. In this dream, a young man

comes to him and holds up this necklace

and says, “I have this necklace for my

sister.” He says, “Who are you and who

is your sister?” He just holds up the

necklace and says, “I got this necklace

for my sister.”

The next morning, he goes across the

street and says, “I never tell anything

about these dreams. But I thought

maybe just maybe it has something to

do with you.” He tells her the dream and

three months later, Kim’s family sends

her, her brother’s luggage from the

cruise.

They are not getting along so they

wouldn't send her anything of value.

She looks through all the hard luggage,

the kind with the little pockets and a

mirror. She rips out the interior silk

lining thinking that her brother may

have hidden it there. No she doesn't find

anything, but she is determined that her

brother sent her a necklace. She takes a

backpack shaking it as she turns it

upside down and out drops two t-shirts.

But in her mind her brother sent that

necklace, so she takes the backpack and

with tears in her eyes turns it inside out.

There inside the bottom where the

threads bind the backpack together,

there was the necklace tied up in the

threads so well you would have had to

be looking for it to find it.

She cuts the necklace out of the

backpack and calls him back. She tells

him about the found necklace and she

says, “I don’t know what you have

going on, but my brother reached out to

you from the other side to tell you about

the necklace for me.” She says, “Thank

you so much”. He says, “Do me a favor

and take a picture of the necklace and

text it to me. So I can let it remind me

that this is all for real and that it is not

just a coincidence anymore or just my

imagination. It will confirm that ever

since the age of six, it has all been for

real. That what my grandfather said was

true, that he felt wonderful and that

where he is, is a beautiful place. A place

where all of my family and friends will

be waiting, and we all be there together

one day.” She says ok and she does.

Sometime later he starts to tell his story

to a few close friends. Then he tells it to

more and more people who say he

should write a book. It takes a while for

him to start the book, thinking that

nobody would believe his story that

heaven is real. We don’t die…

Summary

Something to remember is you have a

reason for being here. Your life has purpose

and meaning. This life is a wonderful

precious gift. One of Gods gifts is Jesus and

he is the way to that place that my

grandfather talked about.

Who you are will continue, it does not

stop here; all of your friends and family are

waiting for you there, in a very joyful and

beautiful place.

I am the six-year-old boy and I have

a picture of the necklace to show

that it is all for real.

 

Man with childhood NDE is further activated by NDEs in his 60's

My life has evolved in just a few short years since I learned that what I thought was a dream from childhood was real. When I was 2 or 3, I almost died from accidental strychnine poisoning. The doctor told my parents to let anyone know who wanted to see me alive that I would expire in a couple of hours. He even said, "Don’t worry, he can’t hear me."

My mom called a preacher that came and put oil on my head and started putting on a show. I was disgusted with him pretending and wished he would leave because I was getting worse with every word.

Then he left by the doctor’s request and I saw my mother go to a huge granite building. She leaned up against a tall beautiful column and just started weeping. She said, “Father you took my first child and I asked you for this one. You gave him to me by a miracle. If you take him, I know he will be safe with you, but I asked you for him, so please let me raise him.” Then she melted into a puddle of tears and that is when I felt so much compassion that I heard this voice in my mind say, “Stop it,” and instantaneously I was okay. The doctor said, “I don't know what happened, but folks you need to get your kids out of this town because the kids not native here are dying.”

Growing up, I always knew when someone was not being honest.

Then I had two NDEs in 2014 that opened my heart to the truth that we are not seeing reality itself. And since then, I have learned so much more about who I am.

In the first NDE in 2014, I was a child and the father came downstairs and told me to come downstairs with him to watch the parade. Wow, it was awesome, all knights on brave gallant steeds that snorted, and I could see in their eyes, they were not afraid of anything. The knights were powerful spirit beings and their armor was polished so bright, it hurt your eyes to look at them. That is when the father tapped me on the shoulder and said, “Son, those are your guardian angels and they are here waiting on your command. Guard your words carefully. They will do what you speak into existence.” 

The second NDE was when they operated on my heart in 2014. I was up high on something solid but there was nothing below me. I had no body, yet I still existed with all my thought power. I saw a huge ball of light that I thought at first was fire but somehow I knew it wasn’t. I said out loud in my thought, "What is that?" A voice in me said, "That is the soup of souls." Then it called millions of names and an arm came out of the soup of souls. The voice told me to look and I saw a huge canvas. It was called the canvas of life and everything ever created was on the canvas. The arm split into millions of fingers and everywhere the canvas touched the screen, a human was born and started to grow. The fingers would move the people around to encounter other people, situations and problems. I understood synchronicity. Then the voice called a name and a finger would pull back from the canvas; a person would die and turn back into the canvas, and that was such a beautiful thing to witness. The voice would call another name and that same finger would create another body; same soul but different body. There was so much love in the way the universe works, the process of life and the ongoing experience of life. I saw how precious and what a gift life is. That is how the creator experiences every side of everything. I was so excited and happy when I awoke in the hospital. I tried to tell people what I saw as they came in the room, but I had no words.

After that, I started noticing synchronicity and increased intuitive ability. I seem to step aside and allow the universe to use my voice. I’ve started healing myself by listening to my body. 

I get urges to go somewhere or do something and sometimes when I meet people, I will tell them things I don't know, but I am just made aware of what they need. Like one time, a girl went in a convenience store ahead of me and I definitely noticed her and I was urged to go talk to her. She was getting a huge box of beer out of the cooler. When I spoke to her, I suddenly blurted out, “Do you know how much God and the universe love you?” and some more things too personal to write. That's when she started bawling. “How did you know I was going to kill myself tonight?” I didn't know, I just allow the love of the universe to love you through me.

I love talking to people the universe brings in my path that are searching. I love that I get used for that.

My feelings now are so tender I cry at anything I hear that’s truth or love, or charity I see.

Suicide beholds the essence of God as love and light

I was being treated for clinical depression. I was home alone feeling defeated. I was blaming and doubting myself for everything I had ever said or done to the point of berating and bemoaning myself as an utter failure. I felt worthless, helpless, vulnerable, and starkly alone without real resources or effective help.

On the day prior to Valentine’s Day, I felt consumed by sadness. Somehow, I decided it was best that I skip Valentine’s Day so that I would feel less sad. I decided to sleep through it.

So, I hopped in my car, and drove to the nearest pharmacy where I purchased ten boxes of generic sleeping pills that each contained 100 pills. I collected the prescription antidepressant that I had not been taking for months. I removed the sleeping pills from their foil pods, and I emptied the prescription bottles. I pulverized 1,300 pills into a powder in a blender. I added the pill powder to pudding and blended them. I then ate the pudding that contained the powder from the 1,300 pills.

As I was quickly fading, I spoke aloud to God telling God that all of me was dying. I said a prayer. I do not remember what I prayed that night, but I do have a total recall of how God responded. As I spoke to God, I heard a booming male voice command me:

“You have two minutes to live. Get out of that apartment now or you will die there!”

The walls and floor were now spinning and rolling so much that I could not find secure footing to stand or walk. I crawled on my hands and knees across the carpeted floor, opened my front door, and crawled across the carpet in the hallway toward my neighbor’s apartment door. I believe I forced myself to stand long enough to knock on her door.

I asked her firmly to please call 911 for me because I was dying. I have absolutely no memory of leaving my neighbor’s apartment, being transported by ambulance, and ever being treated in the hospital’s Emergency Department.

My Visit with God and Angels

Everything around me was light and ethereal and warm and alive.
Light was clearer and brighter than I had ever seen.
Colors were beyond vibrant.
I felt no fear. I felt no pain. I felt no judgment. I felt no blame. I felt no shame.
I felt no fear here!

Profound Love and Peace permeated every being everywhere.
What I know to be the energy of Angels greeted me with the tenderest warmest energy.
I felt embraced by them. They morphed into billowy forms and surrounded me.
Their hearts glowed, radiating and pulsing with light of vibrant colors.

From my heart, which glowed dimly as well, I could sense, feel, and hear telepathically.
I sent an energy wave from my Higher Heart to the heart of the energy of the angels.
They sensed I had a question for them. I sensed it was okay for me to send them my questions.
From my glowing heart waves, I asked them if what I was experiencing was real.

The angels responded telepathically that their realm was real.
I then asked them if I was there with them meant that I was dead. They responded telepathically that my body died so my soul or Higher Heart was visiting them.

For the first time since I arrived, I felt fear, like I had known in the earthly realm, from within my Higher Heart.
They responded to my fear instantly by dissolving it for me. I felt embraced by their energy.
I sensed that legions of energy beings with the most subtle presence were sending me comfort.
I felt no physical pain here despite my having swallowed 1,300 pills.

Angels then explained to me telepathically that they would be accompanying me to a triage area where my Higher Heart could better acclimate to my body being dead.
They shared that people who passed suddenly or who experienced trauma with their passing went to triage.
Apparently mine was a violent jolt of a passing.

Angels wrapped me in the warmest softest blankets that defy human description. I settled and lay wrapped in these blankets.
I then rested listening to the gentle lovely music of the spheres. I only recall being surrounded by Angels who were tending to me. They were focused and worked precisely and silently.
They reassured me telepathically that all was well. They worked to balance my energy in my light body to start to heal my Higher Heart and soul. I did not sense other souls with me in this triage room. I had this gentle place all to myself.

As they worked, I felt safe once again.
I would say that I laid there as they floated; yet floating does not feel entirely accurate.
The Angels knew and sensed what I needed.
There was no need for me to send them messages or waves. When I formulated a thought, they heard me.
Their energy was always present with me. I rested, lying quietly, sensing that I was never alone which comforted me immensely. I trusted them. I loved them.
Their movements were graceful and their intent always benevolent toward my Highest Good.

When the Angel energies that balanced my light body finished their work, they gently departed.
I lay peacefully surrounded by blankets as celestial music filled all of my senses. There was no device, stereo, or instrument present upon which to play music. Or at least one was not visible.
Yet I knew that the music was arriving in waves that were other worldly in origin.
I sensed that the Angels’ energy would return to guide me.

Time and space that exist in the human realm did not exist in this Angel energy space.
I had no earthly idea or indicator of how much time passed. I received more love, grace, peace, and unconditional acceptance telepathically than words can ever begin to convey.
It seemed as though every part of my energy was being restored and renewed. I was starting to understand on more levels.
As I began to accept my earthly body’s passing, waves of warmth and comfort embraced me.
There was no work to be done.
I rested as music and light swirled in and around me. The waves of music danced through me.

A different group of angels then came to guide me to the next phase on my journey.
I sent thanks telepathically to the triage angels who had helped me.
For want of a better phrase, we floated as our energy flowed to another space.

The energy that appeared as cloud-like forms were more angels. They were not healers or triage nurses as the angels who greeted me had been.
These angels felt as though they had a different vibration. They likely served a different purpose, which I would soon discover.

These Angels requested that I observe and notice. I sensed that this was a space where no earthly judgment exists. Just discernment.
They advised me that it was vital that I understand or absorb this concept before I proceeded.
They assured and reassured me that all was well.
Then I was asked to practice to send fear or judgment to something or someone. I did so.

I watched them radiate energy from their glowing hearts to the fear and judgment I created.
That fear and judgment that I had sent dissolved in an instant before my eyes.
No denser energy or light could exist in me as my light body.

They asked me to observe that the light in my Higher Heart had become somewhat brighter.
It was no longer as faint or dim as it had been when I arrived at triage.
I thanked them telepathically for teaching me these light lessons.
I sensed that it was important that I grasp and apply this skill as thoroughly as I was able so that I could flow through and complete this next phase with ease and grace.

I start to feel and sense images as vibrations as they appeared before me. I asked the angels that were accompanying me telepathically if this was a life review. They responded that this was indeed my life review.
They gently advised me to feel love in my heart space. I then watched images of me flash before me.

I braced as I expected the worst scenarios and images of me to appear.
I telepathically thanked the energy as Angels when the images stopped appearing.
I sensed that I had created denser energies in my human form; yet the images did not unnerve me.
They concerned me.
I wondered what happens in this space of love and light to the images I had created.

Nothing could ever prepare me for the next phase that began to emerge!

A robe of light began forming and clothing me. All of the energy as Angels began donning similar light robes.
We could see our Higher Hearts as lights that glowed and beamed through our light robes.
Our light robes were white that was imbued with the softest palest pastel colors. They held a hint of shimmering color.
I believe that the pale color that appeared as an overlay of light on the robes indicated what our ray or role was.
Our hues and vibrations varied depending on our ray or role that we chose to assume there.

Our Higher Hearts shined in every vibrant color of the rainbow. The light glowing within my Higher Heart had intensified yet was dimmer than the Angels’ light which glowed immensely and was intensely bright and vibrant.

We proceeded as the Angels guided me to another space that was vast.
A crystal temple of light that shone more radiant than the sun began to appear before me and the Angels.
It radiated even purer energy and light. It sparkled and glittered.
I bowed my head to avert my eyes because the light was that magnificent.

When I looked up, I saw the tallest brightest luminous Angels who had formed a semi-circle in front of me.
From their circle of love and light they each beamed light and spoke telepathically to my Higher Heart.
They asked me to raise my partially bowed head so that they may address me.
As I hesitated to fix my gaze upon them, they reminded me that this was a space where I was welcome and loved completely.

They asked me to feel and breathe in the love that they were sending to me.
It took immense courage for me to behold them. I was so in awe of their beauty and brilliance.
The members of this council of Light beamed more love from their hearts to me.
They telepathically asked me just one question and looped light from their Hearts to mine as they did so.

They asked me, did you create joy during your life on earth?
I once again bowed my head.
I responded with a resounding “No!” that came from my Higher Heart.
I had not ever created joy while I was alive. Not one bit.
I thought to myself that I knew how to spell the word joy. That was as close as I would have come to joy.
It was not an emotion that I felt so it was not important to me. I never gave joy a thought.
I grasped the concept of joy but I do not think that I ever experienced joy firsthand.

Would I even recognize joy if it shook my hand and introduced itself to me? I wondered.
They enjoyed the internal dialogue I was creating.
I knew what laughter was, at least, I thought to myself.
I sensed not to judge or take myself too seriously.
I had watched as judgment stopped the flow of energy and light and made the vibration denser in the life review phase of my visit.
So, I chose to keep things as light as possible.

My closest associations with Joy were an almond candy bar or a dish soap.
I appreciated that they enjoyed injecting some levity in my inner musings to form a response.
Their question had stumped me for an instant. It was so simple, yet profound.
They radiated and sent pure love to my Higher Heart. The pure love they sent my way instantly dissolved the shame and blame that was forming in my Higher Heart toward the choices I made in my life.

They thanked me telepathically and explained that all of my choices were honored.
They asked me to lift my eyes and hold my head high.

They affirmed that I was loved by God as they sent waves of pure love toward me.

I did as they knowingly requested and lifted my head slowly to view them. This luminous
council of Angels radiated pure love that filled my entire being.
They asked me telepathically if I loved God. I responded that I did love God. I did not hesitate for an instant when I responded.
I counted that there were 12 energies as Angels on this radiant council.
They assured me that I would come to accept, become, and share pure love as they had.
I was worthy to receive and express radiant God love.
I telepathically thanked the Council and God radiating love and gratitude to them from my Higher Heart.
I beamed at the very notion that I may learn to create joy on Earth in my way in my life.

The energy as Angels that had escorted me to this temple of radiant light emerged and joined me.
We gently moved back from the awesome Council of radiant Light.
As we travelled, these angels ever so gently reminded me to observe what was absent from this space.
I watched as any energy of fear, blame, and doubt dissipated and dissolved instantly in this pure love vibration that existed everywhere.

The angels informed me that a question was forming around me in my Higher Heart.
They telepathically explained that I was faced with a choice that only I could make from within my Higher Heart.
They asked me, would I remain with them in this expanded Higher Heart energy or would I return to my earthly form?
They explained that I had agreed to terms of a Higher Heart contract that my soul had agreed to complete before I was born. We all made these agreements whether we are conscious of doing so or not.
Because God honors all choices and we reside on a planet that has free will, I had unconsciously chosen to terminate my contract years earlier than I had agreed before birth. I may have had many years on Earth that remain on my Higher Heart contract.

They explained that because I had shortened my agreement by exiting earlier than was contracted before birth, I would be able to observe everything that would have occurred during my earth life had I chosen to live to fulfill my original contract, but I would be unable to assist or intervene in any way shape or form. I would, in essence, be frozen and unable to act until the time that I reached the age of my original contract.
At the time of my agreed upon time of transition or death, I would be able to proceed freely.

Please understand that God honors all of our choices. This was a soul contract whose terms were being honored for my Highest Good toward the Highest Good of All. No limitation or punishment was ever intended, implied or enacted ever.

I felt love throughout my entire being as the Angels explained the terms of my soul agreement to me. I experienced no judgment or blame or punishment whatsoever in this expanded energy. Only love exists there, if we choose to consciously connect to our source of light, energy, and vibration.

As I absorbed this information, I sensed and felt that my early shocking passing would cause my Earth parents considerable hurt and pain beyond what I would ever have imagined or intended for them.
With them in my mind and heart, I consciously chose to leave a space of pure radiating Love and endless Peace to return to Earth, whose energy was much denser at the time.

The angels explained to me that my body would not experience symptoms from my overdose, my sadness would dissolve over time, and my anxiety would heal over time.
If that was not enough, they added that I would help to eliminate depression through my ancestral lines so that we were all released from its grip and struggles.

[Depression and substance abuse were rampant in my extended families. So much so that my Dad always reminded me to be aware and to monitor my activity. Drinking and then drugging were a part of my history and likely DNA. He kindly urged me to be vigilant and find my own balance.
He was never judging anyone we knew who was struggling; he was advising me not to follow that destructive path. My Dad and Mom both helped several family members and friends when they were in trouble.
I had always remembered and I heed that advice from him. I thank him for his concern for my well-being and for sharing information that still guides me.]

They also explained that spiritual gifts that were dormant in me would now be activated. Upon my return, I would serve God and be guided.
They reminded me that they loved me as God did and gave me an energy embrace.
In my entire being, I sensed that I would now always remember my connection to the love and light of God.
I thanked them telepathically for their love and felt energy hugs from them once again.

In the same instant as I chose to return to Earth to honor my original pre-birth agreement, I found myself before the Council.
God, in radiant light, was now at the center of the semicircle with the same Council of Light.
There are no human words that could ever express or begin to capture the essence of God as love and light.
Perhaps, endless energy expansion?

So, I stood before them, telepathically thanking them for welcoming me to their vibrant Council once again. I felt honored to stand before them, as I felt more worthy to be with them.
God lovingly and firmly asked me if I would be of service. I responded that I would be of service with my whole Heart. I affirmed that I would love and serve God always and all ways.
I felt and sensed God and the surrounding Council rejoicing as I responded from pure love.

I asked them telepathically if I could create what I was experiencing there for myself on Earth. That was all that I chose. To feel that vibrant sense of pervasive peace within me was my soul request.
I telepathically thanked God, the Angels, and my Higher Heart self for hosting me on this visit and activating spiritual gifts within me. I had no idea what doing so meant at the time.

I told and told people that I returned awake and aware of my conscious connection but I did not arrive equipped with an instruction manual or roadmap.
I was grateful to have an active connection, yet my learning process was gradual. I would encounter many obstacles along my path.

I would now have a chance to consciously create subtle joy in my own way on Earth. I would start to own my power and find and express my voice over time.
I have never felt separate or disconnected from God as my infinite source of Love since my visit.

In an instant, I returned to Earth, conscious of my connection to God as my I AM presence was activated.
My mission became to experience what I had felt in Heaven here on Earth. I chose that for myself more than anything else.

My Return

I awoke lying in a hospital bed in the Intensive Care Unit feeling groggy, weak and sore. It took me a few minutes to realize where I was and what was happening. I attempted to speak but was unable to do so as I was intubated.

Two days had passed since I had been treated in the Emergency Department and I would spend two days in the ICU, and three days in the Psych ward. I was admitted on Tuesday evening and awoke on Thursday evening. I had bypassed Valentine’s Day, shocked and hurt my parents, visited with God and Angels, agreed to serve God, and was rebirthed and returned in three days.

Whenever I choose to consciously connect to God as love, I intend that my words or actions will uplift, bless and inspire others.
I choose to expand God as love in and through me – always and all ways. I was often guided to hold space for higher God energies.
I began creating subtle quiet inner joy by serving the God of my understanding and experience in the unseen realm.

Upon my return, my God-through-me-spiritual-gifts began to emerge. I began to serve God as I had chosen and promised. I felt connected and guided as I began owning, integrating, and expressing my I AM presence gradually.

For several years, any time I saw an ambulance, which was often every day, I could sense and sometimes hear the soul of the patient. I would introduce myself telepathically to them and ask their permission to determine if they wanted God through me to assist them.
I would ask that God send them and all involved, Peace.

If their soul responded that they did choose assistance, I would then ask for God and all Heaven’s Healers, Doctors and Nurses to be present, together we would send their Highest light and energy to the patient’s whole being.

I would telepathically send blessings to the patient and to all involved in every aspect of their situation. I would gently tell them that they are loved and embraced by God, no matter the human outcome. I would ask to send them more Peace and gently depart. I would then thank God for assisting me to raise the light, energy, or vibration of the situation.

I had apparently awoken from my deep sleep in more ways than just the one. It seems that God had been asking me to connect consciously. A few months into my recovery and healing journey, I was blessed to have another Divine encounter. I attended my weekly therapy session. The therapist would often discuss spiritual themes and we would explore patterns. Much to her amazement, she announced that I had a special visitor this day. It was none other than our beloved Jesus.

He stood before me radiating the most vibrant radiant emerald green light from the center of his pulsing Higher Heart. He formed an infinity symbol with the light and sent a loop to my Higher Heart which connected my Higher Heart to His Higher Heart. He was beaming as his eyes and smile lit me with the most fun playful joyous energy you could ever imagine. I felt hugged and embraced by His brotherly presence.

He telepathically sent this message to me:

You are a child of God, you are a woman of Light, and this is LOVE.

I was and I am beyond grateful. Several months later, I asked God what love was and I heard and sensed this reply that came in the form of an acronym. As this helped me to begin to apply and integrate this in my experience, I thought it may assist you as well:

LOVE = Light, Oneness, Vibration & Energy

I started a journey to discover more about the spiritual gifts that had been activated within me. So, I began reading and studying metaphysics in earnest. I felt guided to varied books, websites, and resources. After attending therapy sessions for one year, I was ready to advance so I studied applied metaphysics and completed a two-year course of study that the therapist hosted. I would spend three years among them until I was guided to move on.

I am beyond grateful to be healthy and wholly recovered. I experienced no long-term effects from the pills I had ingested. I actively maintain a gluten and lactose free existence to treat celiac sprue and related health issues.

I am now a project consultant, a spiritual counselor, and a non-denominational minister.
And a divinely perfect imperfect work in progress.

Thank you for allowing me to share part of my journey toward becoming conscious with you. I hope doing so has uplifted, inspired, informed or blessed you to continue on your unique spiritual path.

May you know that you are a spiritual being having a human experience.
May you feel that you are loved and embraced.
May you experience that God loves you just as you are.
May you live fully and express radiantly as love expanding.
May you create from your own unique space of joy.

God as Love is calling me now to serve from my connected Higher Heart in the seen realms.

So here I AM.

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