I was 17 years old and had been suffering from daily headaches on top of around five major, debilitating migraines that month. This is why I simply stopped caring about life with zero desire to live, and did not hesitate to take a combination of anti-depressants and anti-anxiety pills mixed with vodka. I was not literally trying to commit suicide, but I think subconsciously I was quite open to the idea of it, in the event of a physical shut down. I felt more than willing to go with it. I was exhausted physically and had experienced one or two migraines per month and headaches daily for almost a year. I was basically feeling that at such a young age, my life was over and this type of suffering was unbearable and intolerable with no hope whatsoever. My best friend, who lived with my mother and I, was at my bedside the entire time. She witnessed (told me later) that I stopped breathing and my mother had called an ambulance that took me to the hospital to have my stomach pumped.

During the three days between finishing high school and attending graduation, my friends and I decided to go tubing down the river. After being on the river for many hours, we got to a small waterfall, which I was familiar with having camped next to it for a full week the previous year. During that week, we went over the water fall so many times that we got to the point where we could go over without holding on to the tube. The waterfall was relatively small, with a drop of maybe four or five feet. So I tell my friends, "Look, I can go over with no hands!" Big mistake! I hit the river below, fell over backwards, and entered the undertow of the waterfall.

I was being raped repeatedly by a total stranger who had abducted me off the street at knifepoint. I was told that I would be kept around because he liked me. I had succumbed to him for fear of death, but I faced the possibility of never escaping. I fought to get away, not caring if I died in the attempt. He threw and pinned me under him and said, "Now I am going to kill you." He punched and and strangled me. I tried desperately to breathe but could not. I realized I was going to die and was upset about it at first. Then I thought, "I'm a bit young to die, but it's okay. I don't want to be here anyway.

I was in the hospital (May 2008) to have a D & E after a miscarriage. I have a tremendous fear of not waking up from anesthesia. During the procedure, I experienced an extremely rare Amniotic Fluid Embolism, which caused a Cardiac Arrest and DIC (profuse uterine/vaginal bleeding). The next recollection I have is waking up to see my mother-in-law, husband and OB/GYN standing over me. It was two days later. I had been in a coma unable to speak, barely able to see and very confused.