My NDE was the most important event of my life and can be described as INTENSE. One day after my 20th birthday, I was hit head-on by a car while I was riding a bicycle without a helmet. My forehead touched the windshield and in that nanosecond, 20 years of life experience meditated in me and released me to void. Then my soul chose to came back! This is an ultra condensed version of my story, which has shaped my life: CHOOSING TO LIVE and integrating as a new soul.
I was in design school in Savannah Georgia paying my way through school with a competitive swimming scholarship. I was in my sophomore year. Swimming was my life, or so I thought. Timing is everything with this. My 20th birthday was Feb 25th. The departure for the NAIA National swim meet was Feb 27th (where I earned the money to put myself through college).
Around 1:45pm on Feb 26th of 2007, I was riding my bicycle (helmetless) from one class to another. I turned across traffic to go left but a black SUV was speeding at me coming from the opposite direction VERY fast (60mph). I tried to turn back into my lane but the SUV came way too fast. I met the grill of SUV straight on on the driver's side. When my hands first hit, time slowed down about 40 times. I saw the bicycle wheel exploding in the air. I saw my hands shatter and dislocate. i felt my knees hit has my upper body went over the hood and my lower body went into a "scorpion" position behind me, knee breaking, bicycle shattering. I was flying towards the windshield near 60 miles per hour. I could see the reflections of the trees and the sun in the glass. I could see the face of the woman driving the car and her tense push against the steering wheel as she was hitting the brakes. Octave by octave, I was registering time slowing down, slowing down, slowing down. My head was aiming straight at the windshield in line with the driver's face. At that exact moment, my head just began to touch the windshield, right near the hairline, at about a 45 degree angle (third-eye /crown chakra point), with just the softest touch and I was launched straight into time unravelling.
I saw time approach absolute zero, but it did not freeze. The first thing I saw was myself from "spherical" (360 surround) out-of-body vision, seeing from all sides and angles, in and out of my body all at once, and there I was, pinned against that SUV windshield, forehead first with "scorpion" position behind me. I felt recognition that it was an initiation. I could instantaneously see my body from "spherical outer body vision"; like having cameras 30 feet outside myself looking in at all angles. Then "I" unraveled.
I was sucked out of the moment into a warm void. The first memory I came into was being pulled out of my mother's womb in a hospital. I relived, meditated upon, and subsequently "unattached" from every experience I had ever perceived. From breast feeding, to playing at school, to kittens, to imagination, to puberty, to learning about science, being part of a family... loving another for the first time... Every perception I'd ever had including accomplishments, ambitions, feelings, and subconscious perception all came into this new meditative space, and... I was given the opportunity to detach from each, and I could not say no.
I was not very spiritual before my NDE. I was fairly reserved, introverted, creative. But when I hit that SUV windshield, I became someone who was tied to this rule of unattachment. As I dissolved every moment of my life chronologically, I came all the way up to the present moment and saw myself hitting the windshield in the NOW, and I unattached from that. When THAT happened, the experience became more profound. I became unattached from gravity, mass, electricity as I somehow perceived myself getting zipped through the universe back into some sort of black hole or the initial big bang or something. I now understand this place has been referenced as "the void".
I was nothing but a figment of knowledge that "I" was something out in the timeless space. I was there for what I now perceive as eternity. I had no human senses, no language-based thoughts, no perception of anything, other than that "I" existed. When I somehow knew, the "I" existed, the next HUGE wave of information came in. And I will say that 6 years later, I am still uncovering everything that I was given/perceived in that affirmation of presence out in the void.
What I will describe here is a matter of soul. The wave of information was by far was the fastest and most intense thing I perceived in the entire NDE experience. When the affirmation of existence presence happened, I saw a tiny speck of white light appear very distantly. At the same time I felt myself being pulled between the white light and the opposite side of the dark. Like being a conductor caught perfectly between two magnets: the event horizon
I knew that the tiny white light was my life. And I knew in the void/moment that the void pull was death. I had no emotions, no language, no thoughts, no human senses; I just knew that one was life and one was death. And then I knew that I had a choice... that the tiniest amount of movement from the whatever I was would pull me one way or the other. At the same time I perceived the "question" I saw my presence spawn a tiny white light, maybe spherical in form. At that moment I somehow decided to nudge towards LIFE. I saw my singular sphere burst into two, and into an infinite mitosis of shapes that while forming was being launched through the re-attachment of all of my life's memories. It was like being blasted a 100,000,000 miles per hour of every single memory through a wormhole. And it felt like a tube, a direct path, a wormhole. There were other "beings along this wormhole too. I felt all sorts of beings graze me as I flew through them. I felt angels, deceased family members I had never known, extra-terrestrial things, all sorts of spirits. Its mind boggling to recall. And it felt like a tube, a direct path, a wormhole. It was an instant re-extrapolation of my entire identity as a human personality, combined with a flash taste of a spirit world I was not previously aware of.
I came back to here, Earth! I came all the way back to the moment. I could see my body from all sides: inside and outside from any possible vantage point. It was AMAZING! My body was pinned against this SUV windshield in this nanosecond, forehead touching, body "scorpioned" behind me. However, unlike before when I had left my body and went to the void, I saw the electromagnetic fields surrounding most everything, but especially my body, most especially my head, neck and brain. In this frozen nano-second, I knew that I had come back to Earth to affirm my decision to live. In that nanosecond, I simply activated my intention to remain stiff and strong in my head, neck, and brain so as to break the windshield with my impulse, instead of having the windshield break me.
At the moment that intention came, Time came out of near-absolute-zero back to maybe 10x slow speed. I broke the windshield putting a hole in it with my head and bouncing up into the air feet flipping up and over me. The SUV was braking and I was flying through the air, screaming inside, maybe outside too, I'm not sure. But I was conscious! I remember landing on top of the rear driver's side corner of the SUV as it finally came to a stop. Next, I remember thudding on top of the metal roof and feeling the metal, as if I had never felt metal before. Then the car jerked back as they do when a car stops, and it flung me off onto the pavement. I hit the pavement on my back and I remember feeling the pavement as if it were my first time, I even remember sensing the Earth below the pavement, the living breathing Earth underneath and even AS the pavement. It filled my heart and for a moment I was still. Then finally time resumed normal speed and I started screaming!
My head was filled with glass. There was blood everywhere. I couldn't see. I had shooting pains down my spine. My hands were mangled. I was screaming my mother's name, my swim coach's name, my girlfriend's, and even my own name amongst all sorts of babble. That went on for some minutes before paramedics came. I had calmed a bit. I remember I was bleeding so much from my head I couldn't see out of my eyes. But when they finally got me on a bodyboard and my bleeding slowed, they were asking me questions. I began to see out of my eyes and I connected eyes with this younger African American paramedic. It was like no gaze I had ever shared with another soul. I was dumbstruck in his eyes. I bled more while they put me in the ambulance. I'm not sure if it was the same paramedic, but in the ambulance, as my eyes were cleared of blood again, I gazed into a young African American paramedic's eyes... he looked right at me and said "you are a miracle" .. and something along the lines of "no normal person would have lived through that"... as the shock was really setting in, he injected me with morphine and I went away to a hospital.
One by one, friends and swim coaches were visiting me ... all totally overwhelmed. Two shattered thumbs, a broken knee, and enough glass in my head to mosaic a coffee table, obviously rendered incapable of swimming the big meet, which I thought was the most important event of my life. I had been gifted a complete and hyper aware meeting with fate, and my destiny has changed so dramatically since. I am so eternally grateful
The constant input and remembering of this NDE has been hand-in-hand with my life purpose ever since. I now feel very strongly that I was given or spawned a second, stronger, clearer soul while in the void. And with that I came back to Earth and Life with a mission. I am an incredibly different person now: extroverted, fiery, intense in almost all ways, and incredibly spiritually, scientifically, and creatively-inclined. It is what has propelled me to master the arts of didgeridoo, Tibetan throat singing, love-making, yoga, conversation, athleticism, and study. I am incredibly in love with life... just Thrilled to be reveling in the passion and challenge of it all. And that is the lesson I have to teach. . . how to integrate the old self with my new self, now full love, lightness, and enthusiasm.
I am so grateful to the point of JOY!