My NDE happened after a long and complicated surgery.
When I became conscious in the recovery room, I remember begging the nurse to let me die because the pain was horrendous. She told me I had been through too much for her to let that happen. I next found myself in this other place. It was as if I stepped into another room. But it was not a room. Where was I?
The first thing I felt was a soft breeze and, as I opened my eyes, I was in this bright, beautiful light which seemed alive with love. This love consumed me, filling every cell in my body. I was upright but didn’t see or feel ground or a platform. It was as if I was standing in space surrounded by bright, sparkly lights. This light was brighter than the sun but it didn’t hurt my eyes.
There was a huge temple in front of me and the breeze was moving these gold sashes in the temple back and forth. The temple was made with stone columns holding up huge wooden rafters and the curtains were draped over the rafters. These curtains would move back and forth as the breeze was felt on my face. I could see the curtains were made of very flat small pieces of gold. They were like the size of a penny. I was a good distance from the temple, but I could also see very close (??).
I thought that I must have died in that surgery, but there was no fear or anxiety. It was very peaceful and all I wanted to do was absorb all the love I was feeling. No thoughts of my loved ones, no fear of what was about to happen to me, or what the future could hold. I was in that moment completely. I think I could have been there forever and would have been fine. I have no human words to describe the feelings, emotions, or place I was in. Paradise comes to mind but it was so much more. Like all the best this world has to offer, but multiply that a billion times over.
After a while, I had the urge to walk through the flowing curtains and to walk inside the temple. Unfortunately, my body would not move forward. I was stuck in that spot. I also noticed a window to the side of the temple. I was immediately able to look inside of the temple. I see a big wooden box. I remember asking myself, “What is that? My coffin? The Covenant? The Covenant that I had read so much about in the Bible?” This box was beautiful and covered in a gold pattern.
Then I become aware of an extremely bright orb of light to my right, coming towards me. I immediately knew this was Jesus. This light is even brighter than the one surrounding me. I can still see the twinkling stars even more, glowing around this orb. As it approaches, I start to see the outline of Jesus, but just his face. I make out a charcoal sketch of his face, it is an outline against all the whiteness and brightness surrounding.
I don’t know how much time passes. But the next thing I know, Jesus is speaking to me telepathically! I do not see his mouth moving but I hear his voice. He says, “It is not your time yet. You have to go back. Everything is going to be okay. Tell them about me.” No, I do not want to leave! I want to argue with him, with God. But I know it is of no use. I try to look down. I understand what is happening and I want to see my body before I go. I can move my head now; Jesus lets me see more. When I look, I don’t see any part of my body, just a white robe with tiny sparkles shimmering all over it. It is extraordinarily beautiful.
This is an incredibly emotional moment. I know the impossible is happening. I am in the presence of God! I was filled with wonder, awe, and humility. No words can explain it completely. I believe it is something you can only know for yourself. It is a supernatural, indescribable joy and peace.
Jesus lets me look around for the last time. I know he is sending me back now. He put thoughts of my family back in my head and all the people I will miss if I do not return. As I start thinking about them, the memories of my life start drifting back into my mind.
In an instant I am back in my body and back in the recovery room. The pain is gone and I can remember what had just happened. It is like being in the world but not of it. It is a surreal but fleeting moment. Immediately my thoughts start to race. “Why did this happen to me? How will I be able to explain this without sounding ridiculous?” My mind is scrambling as I try to put the pieces together.
It is close to 9:30pm at this point. I am wide awake, so alive! The only thing I can think about is the experience of unconditional love. Nothing concerning my operation mattered anymore. I was feeling God’s presence and still basking in his glow. Was I glowing too? Then I overhear the nurse tell the orderly, “We had a hard time stabilizing her. Let's get her to a room”.
It became a struggle to be back in this world. It isn’t typical dinner conversation to talk about your visit with Jesus. Even though I wanted to shout my news from the rooftops, I felt myself being pulled down by life again with each day. I absolutely knew it happened; I know I was in the presence of God. But I couldn’t find the right words or right time to share this incredible experience. It became almost too much to handle. I was stuck in this experience beyond the clouds.