November of 2011, the pressure was such that it seemed to me like whatever I am going through in my mind and body, there is nothing more than this in this world. So, it’s Saturday, I called my school friend, went to his place, took an illegal substance and we were enjoying the conversation for then.
I was a boy of their age and their background, but somehow I started in a different religion than theirs. In other words, I have joined a religious organisation which isn’t the normal one. So in this way I was engaged with them. Now the evening settled and the night approached, therefore everyone must separate to get into one's home. My father, mother, and sister were outside the valley. I was with my cousin. He called me saying come home soon; everyone is worried because you have not yet arrived home. I pacified him and told him to wait a bit more. I am leaving this place to come home. So, I left the rush in the gathering and the gathering settled. Then my friend came to see me to the parking lot. I started my bike. Whatever frustration of the world I was going through, I was still ready to show them my bike stunts as they were telling me to drive safe home. Now I am in the street riding on my bike. Unlike any other day, I was now going back to home as opposite of going to attain the gathering. This was now a rare happening.
This can never be explained and described. However, to give justice to this experience, it was the oneness experience. This experience happened to me in the very moment where I was riding my bike to get to my home. After the experience I am still on my gear and accelerator. But by now the oneness experience has happened. So, some way or other I reached the gate, but I just could not enter inside the house or I could have gone inside but I could not take inside the bike. I do not know. I had to make the decision because I cannot just stand on the gate. What would other people think. I am totally alone. Then I decided to go to the temple which was now the part of my routine somewhat anonymously because I cannot follow their all regulations and also because it’s only me from my clan doing like that.
Then I U-turn the bike. Now I am heading towards the temple in hopes that I would get some relief to the just happened experience. After the on-going experience which I thought is the most intense and there shall be nothing more than this. So on the way, I heard the voice. I guess the source of the voice knew what had happened to me – the oneness experience. The voice said, “Are you not the one who is desiring to go to Vaikuntha?” Mentally I affirmed it. Then I thought of the girls of my age who had also joined this religious organisation purposefully. When their time comes, might be they will also be greeted by the voice? And the phase was like, “I am now done with the world, never to come back.” A glorious moment.
Then I thought of my father and his purse. What will he think if he comes across this news? Well, by then I already will be gone. So, because the voice did offer me Vaikuntha, I became ready to leave my bike out of my control so that he will show up and take me to Vaikuntha as a deal. Then slowly I am lying on my bike leaving my hands and legs free of action of riding. That is the time when it came to my mind and I knew that, “Oh I will first have to die to get there.” Damn, it’s already late. Now again coming in control of bike is not quite possible. Neither did I mind. Because I just found that I was too tired riding the vehicle of time.
All of the sudden, I find myself lying in the street, wounded and people gathering all around me. I suspect the accident. I was trying to say this that oh I know nothing it was due to the way of the voice. But I could not explain this to these people. But might be my attempt did get heard. Then an unearthly man appeared up in the sky beyond the sagging wire. He conversed with me: “You can do it." Not knowing what he meant for me, I tried to do something in that state of life. And here my eyes see beneath my clothes, beneath my skin, the inner parts of the body which my logical mind says there must be organs of my body. But all I see is an unusual white light trying to exit my body and thus it is searching for the channels. And it is through uterus and then I am out.
Now my awareness didn't stay with the body but with the fluidic substance which left my body. Then I could see these people who just before were around my presence. Now it seemed like they could not sense my presence, because as they were gathering around my body, I was hovering around my body. I am now in the 4th dimension of existence where I supposed no one there could approach, not even police who were running towards the ocean. The nearest people around my physical body were two women; they were chatting with themselves. I in the fluid appearance went near one of them and because I was by now feeling calm and relieved, I asked for her to let's go and have a coffee together. I knew there is a coffee shop nearby. And I also knew that she is in the body and I am not so this desire of mine cannot be fulfilled. Soon I wanted to go near my body by crossing the lady.
However a fluid substance like mine pulled me towards a different direction and there I see the appearance of bright white light. It extended its form as it is encompassing all things around. And I went into it deeper and deeper like a solvent I dissolve in it. Then I lost the consciousness of me and mine. All was the bright white light. There I felt increasingly fun, happiness, and joy, many different emotions during the time being spent in this white light. Here I lost the concept of time and everything including the concept of me.
Then as I was coming back from this intense emotion, a sound asked me are you happy? The voice intensity was such that this was a setting so that I could be happy. I said its joy more than happiness. Then I again re-entered the bright light. And now I was active like I thought the path of the wind. I went near the guard post where an armed police man was doing his duty. Based on my past experience, I told him that he will not bother to go around my body and rescue me because he has a duty to do here. There was no point that he listen to what I have to say like the lady didn’t get my coffee proposal, but the wind. Then I found he was looking down the street. There were people running towards the ocean. Might be they wanted to know about the accident and also the condition of my physical body. I went towards my body now with their space. Suddenly I was pulled back, and in the air there became a crevasse. I was passing through the crevasse; at the end was the sagging wire. Since I was not my body, I could pass through the sagging wire untouched and so did it happen. And I came on the other side of the sagging wire.
Here, many aspects of event happened simultaneously. So, simultaneously, I got the life review where I can find myself as a child contemplating death for the first time. Now, here in the air I am again living that part of my time and this time an unearthly wise man is with me whereas at that moment I was alone. Then at the same time I was also introduced to a landscape where the wise man gave me the wisdom not having which I was living as an ignorant. There also I knew people indirectly about their life style which I felt like an attraction for the one who now has left the body and so must be desiring to have it again seeing other living. But I also had interest in them as a service to them so that the humanity could be living for their ultimate. So, I tried to untie the knot of the hoarding board which I found to be a distraction because it leads people unnecessarily to be inclined towards the material and so the search for the ultimate could not be reached. This was my thought as the task which I would do if I was able and capable to do. So at that time this came to my mind and I tried for it. I also glimpsed the appearance of my grandfather there. So, as I was unknotting the hoarding board there was a kind of uncomfortable moment for me as I find people’s energy was attached there; their sense of enjoyment was all attached in there.
Then I went on the other side of the hoarding board, and there I see the parasites living on human emotion. Soon the wise man again appeared and touched me in my back and led me to the tunnel. I agreed and went through it but there the wise man didn't come along with me. For a long time I did pass through the tunnel where there was no right, no left, no sights. I was moving through the tunnel. I took so long and I could not sense any destination; it felt like forever. And as I felt it like forever, the fear of death burst in that tunnel. This fear was such that if I would cross over this boundary I would not be able to return to my physical body again. Then due to the fear of death I recalled the initial voice to whom I said I want to go to Vaikuntha. Then and there I got my paradigm changed and I was ready to explain that it is not Vaikuntha where I want to go but some other realm which according to scripture is a higher realm than Vaikuntha.
Then I departed from the tunnel. The tunnel was going in another direction and I came out of it to the space above the earth where I could see the moon very close to me. And on the other side is the earth, rotating, taking its own time. The earth was blue. It was the ocean. Having been born and lived in a land-locked country, I had never seen the ocean. But after seeing ocean, I went towards earth not in the direction of space also not even the moon.
Now I was placed on the place where it felt like I was in the top of the world. There I explained my desire to go to another realm rather than to Vaikuntha. And then I fell in the layers of stage and as I was passing through these layers I looked up and found four intelligent beings looking at me while I was passing through this layer.
After that, I am back in the body. I was in the vehicle on the way to hospital.