I should start by explaining my family life was such that I was left feeling very unimportant and worthless as a child.
My father had been killed when I was three, leaving a very angry older brother and a distant mother who left me, my older sister and older brother, to our own devices. My sister and I had to best defend ourselves against the brunt of my older brother's anger at the world who had taken his father.
We moved to another area of Scotland after my father's death. An unfriendly strange place where your religion was something to be stated and supported. This was always alien to me, but so many things about this place were alien to me. Anyway walking home from school one evening at the age of eight, I saw a poster in the window of a local shop asking for blood donors and I mentioned to my friend that I would do this when I was older.
The next evening my friend said that her mother wanted to speak to me. I thought nothing of it and went to her as I was told. My memory of what happened could well be inaccurate, but suffice to say she gave the knowledge that God was going to end the world very soon with fire and brimstone and all my family would die a horrible death. I was shocked. I had never dreamt that God could do such a thing. I ran home to my mother who told me it was rubbish and not to think about it.
However a short time after this I found myself staying over at this friend's house and being taken to a meeting. I sat there waiting for the meeting to begin. I was becoming more anxious by the minute hoping I was not going to hear more of the same.
Unfortunately I did. At some point I ran out of the hall, entered the dark cold winter's night, and found my way home which was four miles away. Far too young to attempt this journey on my own.
From then on the fear of watching my mother, brother, sister, and pets being brutally destroyed by huge burning rocks falling like rain from the skies filled my head. Everyone dead. If it was just me I could have coped with that, but not my family. For the next six years it haunted me. I would run out of my classes where the subject of the next end of the world discussion was being bandied about by pupils in my class as if it was a picnic we were going on. Nobody seemed to understand the seriousness of what they were talking about.
I started to read the bible and watch any religious film or television programme which would give me the information to satisfy me that God would not do this. Generally this didn't happen and I just got worse and worse.
One night however, I was wakened from my sleep and thought I better go to the toilet. As I sat there (on the throne so to speak) a godlike image appeared above me sitting on his own throne. He simply told me I was not to worry about the end of the world and to carry on and live my life.
I can't say that I believed God spoke to me. It was just me, why would God waste his time on my problem. So I satisfied myself that it was just a dream. I thought what a fantastic organ the brain was to have cured me of my fear.
Now after hearing about God's love through IANDS, I know I am important enough for God to care about and appear to. I never doubted it was a miracle, a wonderful miracle that unshackled me from my paralizing fear. I lost my fear overnight and it has never haunted me again.