NDE Accounts

Childhood NDE and visitations finally understood after 50 years


This short story recounts the repressed

memory of a near death experience that

opened the door to the spiritual and

psychic world to a six-year-old boy.

Read how the other side reaches out to

be heard. Read as neighbors want to be

found and continue to reach out day

after day after passing away until they

are found. Read how others that just

have a message to be heard continue to

reach out and talk to this young boy

through his dreams...

Chapter One

Just a Coincidence

There is a young boy who has a

dream about his grandfather. In

the dream his grandfather and him are

sitting on the beds in the room that he

shares with his brother. His grandfather

would come to their home in the

summer to visit. He would sit on his

brother’s bed and tell him stories about

his past adventures. During one of those

times that his grandfather visited, he

told him all about his life and his

travels. His grandfather was born in

1887 in Illinois. He had been to South

America and back before going on to

fight in the trenches of France in the

First World War. The boy would get to

see the scars that his grandfather got in

battle. Always fascinated with his

grandfather’s stories of his exploits, he

would be transported to a far-off place

each time his grandfather would tell a

new episode of his life.

In this dream of his grandfather, his

grandfather is sitting on the bed where

he always sat during his visits. There

with a big smile on his face, his

grandfather begins to say, “Where I am

now is a beautiful place.” The boy looks

at his grandfather and can’t help but

smile. Then his grandfather says, “I feel

wonderful.” When his grandfather says

this a very happy feeling, a feeling of

wellbeing comes over him and the boy

smiles back at his grandfather. Then his

grandfather continues to say, “You tell

everybody, I'll be here when they get

here” and wagging his index finger he

says, “You tell your dad I’ll be waiting

for him.”

When the young boy wakes up from the

dream. He says, I just had the most

amazing dream about my grandfather.

He realized that it was very different

from other dreams. He didn’t really

know how to describe the dream or why

it seemed so real. He gets up from his

bed and he goes out of his room. When

he does, he sees his dad walking down

the hallway. His dad had a very sad look

on his face. The boy says to his father,

“What's wrong?” In a low, sad voice

his dad says, “we just got a phone call

that your grandpa passed away last


Well, the boy didn't put the two things

together. He didn’t tell his dad about the

dream and he didn’t tell his dad what his

grandpa had to say. He grows up having

all of his friends and relatives come by

the same way when they pass away. In

a dream, everyone has their own way of

coming through. Now he thinks it's all

just a coincidence that all his friends

and relatives come by when they pass

away. He thinks to himself, “Well I

must have just been thinking about


Chapter Two

A Reason to Believe

Year after year go by and the

numerous people, friends and

relatives continue to visit when they

pass away. Those dreams, like the one

of his grandfather, stay with him like

they happened yesterday. Now some

forty years later and he is married with

three kids. He takes his wife to a baby

shower and there he meets the young

mother to be for less than a minute

saying, “It’s lovely to meet you, I'll be

back to get my wife later.”

Six months later, he's

meditating/napping in the afternoon

and he gets this young lady that comes

to him in the middle of his nap. Just like

all his friends and family that come to

him in the dreams... right before he

wakes up. This is in the middle of the

afternoon, so it's not the same as the

rest, very different this time.

During the dream, the girl is projecting

a bedroom and a hallway that they are

both standing in and she is looking into

the bedroom and staring back at him.

He looks at her and looks around trying

to figure out where they are and who

she is. He doesn’t know who she is

when she begins to say one thing and

one thing only over and over and over.

As she continues to look into the room

and back at him and she says, “please,

please save my baby, save my baby. Oh,

please come and save my baby.” so

compassionately, so filled with


As he wakes up from this dream and he

is emotionally devastated. He is very

upset and doesn’t know why, it takes at

least an hour before he composed

himself. A couple hours later his wife

calls him on the phone. She says, in a

low slow voice “Put it on the news, the

police and the fire department are at my

girlfriend's house

her daughter passed away this afternoon

of an asthma attack and the baby

suffocated in her lap.”

He says, “You don’t mean that girl I

met for less than a minute six months

ago?” She says, “yes”. At that moment

a deep somber feeling overtakes him, as

he realizes that this is not just a


It becomes apparent that everybody

who has ever passed away and found

their way to him in his dreams. Aunts,

uncles, friends, strangers and so many

more. It has all been for real. He looks

back at his life and every year that

passes, he recalls all those many dreams

of all those people that came by when

they passed away. He never thought it

was real. Each one plays like a

YouTube video so vivid - imprinted on

his memory and filled with so much


Chapter Three


As he remembers each and every

one that had ever passed away.

One of the earliest persons to visit is his

grandmother on his mom’s side. He

remembered that she was a very loving

person and the widow of a fallen police

officer. She raised seven children in the

1930’s as a restaurant owner and a

cook. He remembers going to South

Texas to visit.

His mom was raised in the border town

of Rio Grande City, Texas. As a family,

they would go to visit and stay for a few

days always enjoying the time he had

there. His grandmother would bake

wonderful meringue pies and put them

on a shelf in the window for everyone

to see and smell.

He remembers the first time his family

went to see his grandma. She had a

porch swing and his mom and grandma

sat on it together. He remembers being

held by his grandma as she exclaimed

how cute he was - just like any grandma

would do.

When his grandmother passed away,

she was the first to come to him through

his dream. Until the realization and

recall of all the people who had passed,

he did not remember her visit. Being so

young that he did not remember that she

came before his grandfather. In this

dream, both were standing in that space,

an endless and vast space filled with

emptiness. The young boy did not know

where they were.

He was afraid and had a very uneasy

feeling never experiencing a dream so

real, it was like being awake in a dream.

When she started to ask about the things

that he liked to do, it seemed like she

was sad. This was not something he

remembered about his grandmother.

He had never seen his grandma sad or

upset so he didn’t know what to think.

They talked about what he did and how

he would spend his time during the day.

He told her that he liked running around

the backyard and playing with his little

white poodle dog was one of his

favorite things. This time she was

projecting resentful, aggravated

feelings as she continued to question

him. “What else”? she asked angrily.

The young boy told her that he would

go to the kitchen and fix a bowl of

cereal and watch cartoons in the living

room on Saturday mornings. She said,

“You can’t do that here.” She projected

a sense of sadness and separation.

Now with even more fear and sadness,

he wakes up from the dream shaking

from fear and he begins to cry. Unsure

of what had just happened, he goes into

his parent’s room whimpering.

Standing next to his dad’s side of the

bed with tears running down his face, he

wanted to wake his parents that were

facing him… but they were asleep.

The boy did not want to wake his dad or

mom. He was so confused and could

not understand what had just happened.

While still shaking from the experience,

the young boy knelt down and placed

his head on the bed next to his dad

trying to get some sense of peace and

the chance to calm down.

For some reason, he knew that it was

more than just a dream. It was so real

and filled with so much emotion. It

took at least thirty minutes for him to

calm down and fall asleep.

When he woke up at dawn, he went

back to his room and he did not tell

anyone about the bad dream. Later that

day, his mom was packing to leave with

relatives for a trip to South Texas and

they told him his grandma had passed

away. He was so young that he really

did not understand and he did not ask

any questions. He knew it was

something important because there was

such a big frenzy and everyone was sad

and concerned.

Chapter Four

Dream On

Growing up he did not

understand how he was able to

control different aspects of his dreams.

That is why he did not think much about

the dreams when his relatives came to

visit. The other dreams were just that,


When he was sixteen, he had a dream

about going to the movies with a new

acquaintance. In the dream he and his

new friend are standing in the lobby of

the theater. When this guy bumps into

his friend and begins to pick a fight.

This guy says to his friend, “I’m going

to kick your ass.”. His friend says” no,

you are not because my friend knows

Taekwondo.” The guy says to him, “ok

come on, I am going to kick your ass.”

He steps back and tells the guy “I don’t

want to fight” and that he doesn’t want

any problems. The guy begins to come

at him, so he slips his shoes off and

prepares to defend himself.

The guy begins to swing at him, so he

begins to bounce on the balls of his feet

as the guy approaches closer, he does a

roundhouse kick to the side of the guy’s

head and down he goes. His new friend

starts to say” I didn’t see the kick. I

didn’t see the kick”.

When he wakes up from that dream, he

says that dream was strange, however

he’s not sure why. Asking himself, why

is that dream so different from all the

others. It stands out from the rest,

imprinted on his memory. Going

through his day that dream lingers in the

back of his mind. He continues to think

about the dream for a couple of days.

Now as the week progresses, the dream

fades into a distant memory. As always,

he goes to his brother’s apartment to

hang out. There he would sit around

and play guitar with other musicians.

This brother’s apartment was where

other musicians like to hang out. His

brothers were ten years older, so at

sixteen, he could hang out with the

older crowd.

In the following days his brothers

invite him over to their apartment to

hang out for a while. As they do this,

their roommate's brother-in-law Bill

comes over and hangs out for a short

time. Bill asked him if he would like to

go shoot some pool. He says sure and

they headed off to the nearest pool hall.

When they drive into town, they find

the nearest pool hall and go in. The

place is full on a Saturday night so after

only a short time they leave for another

place. When the exit someone bumps

into Bill and says “I’m going to kick

your ass.”. Bill says” no you’re not my

friend knows Taekwondo.” So, the guys

says to him ok come on I am going to

kick your ass. He steps back and says,

“I don’t want to fight” and that he does

not want any problems. The guy begins

to come at him, so he slips his shoes off

and prepares to defend himself. The guy

begins to swing at him so he begins to

bounce on the balls of his feet. As the

guy approaches closer, he does a

roundhouse kick to the side of his head

and down he goes. At that point Bill

starts to say the same thing in the

dream” I didn’t see the kick. I didn’t see

the kick”.

Now he remembers the dream and says

to Bill “we have got to go”. After that

dream he thinks that there is something

going on but does not understand what

is happening or why. He had other

dreams but not like that. He saw things

in dreams play out in real life but never

affecting him directly. He would be

aware of being in a dream and

controlling different parts in his dream.

What he found out later that he was able

to do what was called lucid dreaming,

A lucid dream is a dream during which

the dreamer is aware of being in a

dream and can control aspects of the

dream, this type of dreaming had been

happening for a long time. This time he

decides that he doesn’t want to know

the future like that so the lucid

dreaming stops and changes in his sleep

pattern begins.

Chapter Five

Uncle Dutch

Another special family member

to visit was his Uncle Dutch,

his dad’s brother. Uncle Dutch was the

young boy’s only uncle on his dad’s

side so he had a special place in their

family. He was very nice, friendly and

generous. The young boy’s dad and

uncle operated a print shop together as

young men before they were married.

They were very close and stayed close

the whole time the young boy was

growing up.

Later on, Uncle Dutch was in the oil

business and was a millionaire several

times in his life. He had a big white

house that was very large in the mind of

a young boy. There were many fond

memories of the great times in Houston

at Uncle Dutch’s house during summer

vacation. He would go to the movies

and meet some of his cousin’s

neighborhood friends. Christmas was

always so much fun and his cousins

would receive gifts like go-carts. One

was black with seating for two. The boy

remembers having such a good time

watching everyone taking turns driving

in the big circle drive way.

The night his Uncle Dutch passed away

was when he visited the boy (now a

young man) in his dreams for the first

time. Uncle Dutch projected the image

of the front yard of the young man’s

house. It was like he walked out of his

front door on a beautiful spring day.

The sun was shining and there was an

unusual glow around the trees. The

trees had leaves that were a sparkling

brilliant color green and his uncle was

standing on the path that lead to the

door. Uncle Dutch walked up the path

to where he was standing on the porch.

He smiled and seemed to be very happy

by projecting an intense feeling of joy,

a comforting feeling that touched the

young man’s spirit.

He wanted to know where his brother

was at. He asked it like he was there to

pick up the young man’s dad so they

could go somewhere. He said “where’s

your dad?”. The young man replied that

his dad wasn’t there but his mom was

there. The young man turned to get his

mom thinking that Uncle Dutch would

talk to her instead. Uncle Dutch

stopped the young man before he could

turn to get his mom and he said, “I’ll be

back for her later.” He smiled and there

was a compassionate and warmhearted

feeling that came from him.

The second time his Uncle Dutch

visited, was sometime later after he

passed away. He came with his first

wife by his side. At the time, the boy’s

dad was having heart surgery and he

was so concerned about the outcome.

During the visit, his uncle looked at the

young man and then at his Aunt Helen

and said, “I guess they need another

miracle.” They both smiled at the young

man and he woke up. The boy who

had grown into a young man, was so

scared because his dad’s surgery was a

quadruple bypass and a valve

replacement. The doctors were

surprised at the surgery. They said that

it went faster than usual and that his

recovery was remarkable. I believe that

was the miracle they were talking about

in their visit.

Chapter Six

Aunt Helen

Uncle Dutch’s first wife was

named Helen. They all met in

college, when mom and dad along with

dad’s brother Uncle Dutch went to

college in Austin. Just before all of his

cousins and his brothers were born. The

boy’s mom and dad, his Uncle Dutch

and Aunt Helen operated the print shop

and spent a lot of time together. The boy

always remembered seeing pictures of

the four of them at the beach and having

fun. Pictures of the four of them at his

grandma’s restaurant.

After the print shop, his Aunt and Uncle

moved to Houston and his mom and dad

moved to Dallas. That's when they

bought their first house and started

having kids.

Aunt Helen was always so nice and

happy the whole time she and Uncle

Dutch were married. One day the boy

found out that his Aunt and Uncle got

separated, soon after they separated, the

boy and his brothers didn’t visit Houston

very much. During that time, he didn’t

see her much and then not at all after

that. She was so very nice as he

remembers, she was always bringing all

the kids drinks and snacks when

everyone comes to stay in Houston

during summer vacation. Aunt Helen

would take all the kids to the movies

and then she would take them all to the


When his Aunt Helen visited as she

passed, she projected a warmly lit

space. That warmly lit space was filled

with a loving spirit that was extremely

optimistic. She projected a friendly

cheerful bright smile that made the

young boy feel loved and empowered.

She was happy and filled with a

rejoicing spirit that made the boy feel

like it was a comforting warm embrace.

There was a message of everlasting love

as she gave him a positive and upbeat

empowering spirit. She also gave him

an acknowledgment of his connection

with heaven. He was not sure what she

meant or what she was inferring. As she

looked at him, she conveyed a warm

farewell, expressing good wishes as she

parted. Still not convinced that the

dreams mean something he continues to

think it’s all just a coincidence.

Chapter Seven

Little Joe

During the seventies, everybody

wanted to be in a rock and roll

band. Just like everyone else, the young

boy had grown up and joined a

neighborhood garage band. A brother’s

band, his two older brothers and the

young man formed a band after playing

with his high school friends for three

years. They were popular in that circle

and would play at different people’s

houses all around town. They met a kid

named Little Joe from a friend named

Barry that lived on the same street.

They would play at Barry’s house and

Little Joe was always there. He invited

the three brothers over to play at his

house often because of the big pool

house in his backyard. Little Joe was a

musician so they had something in

common. The three brothers continued

to go there for at least a year before they

stopped hanging out with Little Joe.

A couple of years later, the young man

was napping one afternoon and had a

most unusual visitation. Someone he

had not seen in some while comes to

him in a dream. There is Little Joe off

in the distance. The young man is

standing in this vast empty space that is

dimly lit. It has a solemn feeling

coming from within. Then the young

man sees Little Joe with an impressive

show of agility that seemed to be

inexhaustible as he moved around the

vast empty space. What seemed like

flying to the young man as Little Joe

would fly right up to the young man’s

face and out again. Around and around

in a big circle then flying into a figure

eight before flying back to his face. He

must have done this action two or three

times before the young man yelled his

name in a frustration. “Little Joe”!

He was so upset because he wanted to

talk, and Little Joe would not stop

flying around and around. Again, he

would fly right up to the young man’s

face and then project a feeling of

confusion and bewilderment. Little Joe

would fly back to the young man’s

vicinity and then fly back out projecting

hesitation and wonderment at the same

time. There were so many emotions and

feelings. The unusual place Little Joe

found himself in now, with his

consciousness freed from his body. This

was an unlimited and vast landscape

where he could move without

restrictions. He struggles to understand

what has happened and where he is at.

After Little Joe continued this for

several minutes, the young man yelled

his name again with a feeling of peace

and certainty of the place like his

grandfather spoke of. As he continued

to project a feeling of going into the

light. He says with very strong

conviction to “go into the light”. So off

he goes, he flies off to an opening

bristling with light and the young man

wakes up. The young man never tells

someone to go into the light and he does

not know why he said that. At the time,

he still did not believe that any of this

was real. That is the reason for the

surprise when he said, what he said, “go

into the light” in the dream.

Chapter Eight


Bobby was one of a dozen

neighborhood friends that the

young man grew up with. Bobby lived

across the street and a few houses down.

When they were growing up there were

five in the close group. They would play

the same street games as every other

neighborhood group of kids played.

The five closer friends grew up with

Bobby who seemed to be the one

everyone picked on one way or the

other. They saw his older brother

picking on him and that led to others

doing the same. They went to school

together until he left school to get


When Bobby passed away, he projected

a small white room where they both

were standing. He was looking at the

young man with a sense of loss and

remorse. As the boy looked around the

room to try and identify where he was.

His friend continued to project a feeling

of regret as he looked at the young boy.

This visit was brief, and the young man

did not know what to think of his

messages of loss and remorse until


Sometime later the young man saw

Bobby’s sister and she told him that

Bobby had taken his own life due to the

separation from his wife and child.

Chapter Nine

Mr. Man at the Gas


When the young man was

growing up there was a gas

station near the restaurant that his mom

and dad owned. His dad would take

him there sometimes to get air in the

tires and get gas. That is when the

young man met the gas station man.

The young man would go and visit the

gas man when he walked around the

shopping center. When he got bored at

the restaurant, he would go walk around

and visit the retailers letting them know

that his parents owned the restaurant in

the shopping center. At only eight years

old, he was very adventurous for his

age. He would meet a lot of people

during these walks around the

restaurant. He made friends in the

neighborhood and at the other

businesses. The gas man was one of

these many friends. He would let the

young man watch him work on the cars.

When the young man woke from the

dream about the gas man, he thought

how real the dream was. Just as if he

were standing at the gas station, in the

bay where they would talk about the

day, and the strange thing about the bay

was it was white, very clean and unlike

the way it was when the young man was

there. We stood there, where he just

smiled conveying a sense of wellbeing

and happiness. The young man was just

looking around at the brilliantly lit

space. As he turned his head to see

outside, he could see into a vast endless

white space. He turned to look back and

was at the gas station again. As the gas

station man is leaving, he says with a

smile… then the young man wakes up not

being able to finish the dream. There

were feelings of happiness and sadness

at the same time. Then the confusion

sets in and he wonders what it all


Chapter Ten

The Water Feels Great

When he gets back to the age

of six he remembers that

every year they would go to Houston on

summer vacation. His uncle had a huge

house and a big swimming pool and

they would get to go play every summer

in the swimming pool. He looked

forward to going to his uncle’s house

because of the pool.

One morning everybody was eating

breakfast and he goes out to the

swimming pool by himself. He sits on

the first step and the water is up to his

waist and he thinks to himself that the

water feels great. He sits on the next

step and the water is up to his chest, and

he thinks that it feels even better. He

stands up and wades back from the

steps and gets further and further away

from the shallow end of the pool.

Now centered in the deep end of the

pool he starts to struggle to stay on top

of the water. As the water begins to go

over his head, he fights his way back up

on top. He is totally out of breath and

looks around and does not see anybody,

but he does not panic. He really does

not know what is about to happen. As

the water goes over his head for the

second time, again he fights his way

back up on top of the water. At this

point, he cannot catch his breath and as

he looks around, he still does not see

anybody. As the water again rises over

his head for the third time, everything

turns white and a peaceful calm comes

over him. Immediately he is floating

above the pool looking down, but he

does not realize that he has left his body

or that he is floating above the pool. He

just looks around for a few seconds then

he sees the curtains on the sliding glass

door start to open. He sees his Uncle

Bill standing in the open door and

begins to run out to the side of the pool.

He takes off his socks and shoes and

goes into the water. A few seconds

later, he emerges with the young man’s

body and lays it down next to the sliding

glass door. As he does, he says, “I

recognize Uncle Bill but who is that he

laid down and who is that he pulled out

of the water.?” His Uncle Bill gave him

a slap with the palm of his hand across

the face, a little water comes out and

immediately the young boy is back in

his body. At that point, he remembers

and says to himself “I had a near-death

experience. I died, left my body and

that is what opened up the door to the

spiritual and psychic world.”

Chapter Eleven

Reaching Out

Now with this realization he

thinks maybe it is over. He

and his wife are moving to a new house.

He meets the neighbors infrequently

about three or four times in three years

that they live there. One morning he

wakes up from one of these dreams, he

knows is just like all the rest, but this is

a little different. This dream is dark and

depressing with lots of sadness and

sense of separation. There is no image

projected but it feels like his mom has

passed away.

Reluctantly he calls his mom's house

and she is just fine. What a relief. Ok,

now that it was not his mom, it must

have been nothing. The next morning,

he wakes up from the exact same dream

...dark and depressing, sadness,

separation anxiety and there is no

image, but it feels like his mom has

passed away. So again, he calls his

mom's house, and everything is fine.

“Great, it must be me.”

Night after night, the same dream over

and over it continues to happen for 10

days in a row. On the tenth day in the

afternoon, he is trying to get in his front

door. He has a long path he has to walk

to get to his front door. As he takes a

few steps walking up the path,

something draws him to look across the

street. When he does, he looks at the

house that is directly across the street

from his house and he does not think

anything about it. He says to himself

“that’s Debbie’s house - so what?” and

he tries to walk up his path to his front

door. Taking a few steps, again

something draws him to turn around


and look at the neighbor's house. Again,

he just acknowledges it is the

neighbor’s house, “that is just Debbie’s

house” and again he tries to walk up his

path to his front door.

As he tries to make his way up the path

for the third time, something forces him

to stop and look at the neighbor's house

across the street. When he does, he

makes a few more observations ... the

mailbox is full and overflowing,

previous holiday decorations are still

out, newspapers are piled up out front.

Then all the emotion from the dream

starts flooding out of the house at him.

He starts to feel all the sadness,

separation anxiety and depression. He

starts to well up inside and then he

begins to tear up. At that point, he

realizes “wow” that must be where this

dream has been coming from, the

neighbor across the street.

The neighbor that lives on one side of

Debbie is named Kim, an ex-police

officer. He calls her, he knows her a

little bit better. He calls Kim and says,

“Hey, you know Debbie better than I

  1. do. Why don’t you give her a call and

see how she's doing?” Kim calls back

and says, “there is no answer.”

He says, “Why don't you call the police

and fire departments to make a welfare

check?” She says, “Well, why do you

want to do that?” He says, “I haven't

seen her in a while, I think maybe we

should call. I will tell you more later,

but I just think it’s a good idea that you

call.” She calls the police. The police

and fire department show up a few

minutes later.

About an hour later they kicked the

door in, and sure enough Debbie had

passed away back in her bedroom…

dead for about 10 days.

Chapter Twelve

Family Attachment

Now Kim asked him, “How did

you know that she was dead?”

He says, “Well, I have friends and

relatives that come to me in dreams

when they pass away. I always thought

that it was a coincidence, just my

imagination. This time I have been

having this same dream for the last 10

days and I could not understand who it

was or where they were. Until today

when I was walking up to my house.”

Kim says, “My brother passed away off

a cruise ship in July. Can you call him?”

He says, “No, my name is not John

Edwards and that is not how this works.

I just can’t call Heaven. They have to

come to me.”

Anyway, her brother must have been

attached to her because that night he has

this dream. In this dream, a young man

comes to him and holds up this necklace

and says, “I have this necklace for my

sister.” He says, “Who are you and who

is your sister?” He just holds up the

necklace and says, “I got this necklace

for my sister.”

The next morning, he goes across the

street and says, “I never tell anything

about these dreams. But I thought

maybe just maybe it has something to

do with you.” He tells her the dream and

three months later, Kim’s family sends

her, her brother’s luggage from the


They are not getting along so they

wouldn't send her anything of value.

She looks through all the hard luggage,

the kind with the little pockets and a

mirror. She rips out the interior silk

lining thinking that her brother may

have hidden it there. No she doesn't find

anything, but she is determined that her

brother sent her a necklace. She takes a

backpack shaking it as she turns it

upside down and out drops two t-shirts.

But in her mind her brother sent that

necklace, so she takes the backpack and

with tears in her eyes turns it inside out.

There inside the bottom where the

threads bind the backpack together,

there was the necklace tied up in the

threads so well you would have had to

be looking for it to find it.

She cuts the necklace out of the

backpack and calls him back. She tells

him about the found necklace and she

says, “I don’t know what you have

going on, but my brother reached out to

you from the other side to tell you about

the necklace for me.” She says, “Thank

you so much”. He says, “Do me a favor

and take a picture of the necklace and

text it to me. So I can let it remind me

that this is all for real and that it is not

just a coincidence anymore or just my

imagination. It will confirm that ever

since the age of six, it has all been for

real. That what my grandfather said was

true, that he felt wonderful and that

where he is, is a beautiful place. A place

where all of my family and friends will

be waiting, and we all be there together

one day.” She says ok and she does.

Sometime later he starts to tell his story

to a few close friends. Then he tells it to

more and more people who say he

should write a book. It takes a while for

him to start the book, thinking that

nobody would believe his story that

heaven is real. We don’t die…


Something to remember is you have a

reason for being here. Your life has purpose

and meaning. This life is a wonderful

precious gift. One of Gods gifts is Jesus and

he is the way to that place that my

grandfather talked about.

Who you are will continue, it does not

stop here; all of your friends and family are

waiting for you there, in a very joyful and

beautiful place.

I am the six-year-old boy and I have

a picture of the necklace to show

that it is all for real.


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Man who drowned as teen and was pulled out seeks answers later in life

When I was around fourteen years old, I went fishing with my older brother and his friend. We took a small boat out on to a river. The river waters were extremely high and fast-moving as it had been raining for two weeks straight. As soon as we launched the boat from the shoreline it immediately capsized. As I went over into the water, I was able to grab onto a seat cushion that fell into the water. It happened so fast as the water was pulling me down underneath rapidly. The seat cushion which was supposed to also serve as a flotation device was useless as I was clutching on to it. 

I was looking up as I was being pulled down and I could see the top of the water and a very small what appeared to be a hole of light from above getting smaller and smaller as I was being pulled down so fast I couldn't seem to move at all, just being pulled under. Two thoughts came to mind, as I was being pulled down - the seat cushion was not helping to save me, it was getting sucked down regardless, and I remember saying to myself in my mind - "I can't believe I am going to die like this, I'm only 14." At that point, everything went dark.

The next thing I can remember is looking up and seeing the overcast sky, I was soaking wet, lying on my back. My vision was not very clear, foggy like, confused, where was I, what was happening. As I was coming to my senses, I could hear my brother calling my name off in the distance. I called out to him. All I remember next was saying to him - (his first name) "You saved my life, thank you for saving my life and pulling me out of the water." He replied - "I didn't pull you out of the water, we've been running up and down the shoreline looking for you." We've had people looking for you for some time.

When he pulled me up from the ground, I turned to look at where I was. I had been lying in the branches of a large birch tree that was lying partially in the water’s edge downstream from where the boat capsized. We got in the car, didn't talk much. When I got home, I remember telling my Mom that (brother's first name) had saved me from drowning. 

My brother to this day doesn't know what happened and he insists that he did not pull me out. He found me lying on the tree. The incident seemed to have gone into the background of my life in the early years of my life. At times the memory would come up, I would struggle to make sense of it and then it would disappear again for years. In my later years, as a parent, I've struggled to fill in the missing pieces which were causing restlessness for answers, loss of sleep, questioning life.

Something seemed to have brought the incident to the forefront of my thoughts several years ago and it was difficult for me, replaying it out in my mind daily, what happened, how did I get out of the water - Who saved me? It's almost like I have a sense of someone having pulled me from the water. A hand reaching down into the water and pulling me out, telling me it was not your time.

The past year I've been getting more thoughts coming into my head that I was not following the course that I was supposed to. I was supposed to be helping people heal, overcome their challenges, fears, obstacles. Helping them find their path in life. Like I was given a second chance in life and now was the time to take care of business before it gets too late and I didn't accomplish what I was supposed to do. 

I've only recently told my children about my experience. I have actually come to peace with trying to find the missing time/events between going under and awakening. I've been in many sessions of searching and during one, a voice or thought clearly said to me - "You don't need to know the answer right now, it's not the time. Just know that you are here." 

Woman, abused as infant, has NDE after-effects

When I was approximately two years old, my father looked at me one day and decided he wanted to “be the first”. He raped me as an infant. Many years later, when he was beginning to show signs of dementia, someone spoke to him about how he should treat me. His response was, “She’s my daughter and I’ll do what I want with her,” and then proceeded to tell the above story (in more graphic detail). This came back to me more than a year after that conversation, and after he had passed.

I have no conscious memory of that event from my infancy. However, I have known since my 20s that something of that nature had happened to me. I knew it because my emotional and physical responses in certain situations were classic sexual-abuse-victim reactions. I knew it because of “cellular memory”: my body knew, even though my mind didn’t. I spent many years in therapy, reading, and self-evolutionary work, trying to figure it out, trying to remember what happened to me. It wasn’t until my father’s late-life “brag” (that was his point, to demonstrate his “rights”) was relayed to me that I finally had an answer. I was then in my 50s. But I still have no conscious memory of the event.

When I started attending the Tucson IANDS presentations, I was fascinated. To know what was on the other side, to hear others’ personal accounts, was at once uplifting and reassuring, intellectually engaging and emotionally supportive. I joined IANDS, and was further delighted to start receiving their “Monthly NDE” reports. Recently I came across a couple of them that really caught my attention.

One talked about NDEs in children, written by P.M.H. Atwater. She spoke of how “children compensate”. Rather than deal with their experience, they adjust other things around it; that even into mature years, the puzzle is often not solved. They “begin abstracting (dealing with broad conceptual ideas), are smarter than their parents, school teachers, friends”. “They forever miss HOME, the greater collective they know is real.” She says 90% are unable to bond with their parents. She continues: “Typical characteristics afterward: heightened senses, vivid imagination, intellectual curiosity and drive, psychic/intuitive, loneliness, higher I.Q., deep capacity to care, great potential for an ethical path, aware of future moments, strongly independent even if shy, nonlinear development. The younger the child, the greater the jump in I.Q., [and] the ability to abstract.” They are “doers with good ideas, inventions, and the energy to get jobs done”. They have a heightened consciousness, and a tendency to nerve-stomach-skin sensitivity.

These things all represent aspects of myself. I never felt particularly close to any of my family. (I’m not even sure what “bonding” with a parent might actually be.) I never thought I was smarter than average, until I had more experience with a broader range of people – and then it became clear to me: my comments were often over the heads of other people. My thoughts and ideas were often complex and fairly advanced in logic and principle, and went unnoticed (at best) or ridiculed (at worst). I am very resourceful and can often come up with unique ways to deal with a problem or situation. I am a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) as defined by Dr. Elaine Aron. I am intuitive and perceptive of people’s emotions and intentions. I can often “see” likely outcomes of present actions. I can often tell when someone is lying. I have a strong sense of history and how it connects everything, as well as my own participation in many time periods. I have had several Spiritually Transformative Experiences (STEs), mostly regarding my own past lives. And I have an awareness of a broader future for humanity and the planet.

A different Monthly NDE mentions the writer’s “excruciatingly painful awareness”, a “feeling of desolate isolation from my real existence”. I have always felt a deep, profound, and painful sadness, just from living on the physical plane, never feeling a part of this place, never feeling “at home”. I know things about how this life works that most other people don’t seem to be aware of, things in terms of personal interactions, repercussions, and energetic flow. At least, sometimes.

Other times I am clueless as to social norms and acceptable behaviors, or what some enigmatic comment is supposed to convey. And yet I was never able to utilize my sensitivities for anything other than personal evolution. It did not help me find jobs or friends, I never felt “successful”, either monetarily or socially. I have never had sufficient certainty of my ideas to help others by way of predictions or information regarding their own lives. All I can do is give my own thoughts and impressions as suggestions, and if they accept what I say, it may help them to understand their circumstances or make their own choices. Often, however, they do not. I sometimes feel like Cassandra of Greek mythology, cursed to give true prophecies which nobody ever believes.

In this second Monthly NDE, the writer says she has no memory of the experience, she simply “knew” that she had been on another plane of existence, and had been forced or somehow persuaded to return to her physical body. This really woke me up. “Having no memory of the experience” is the same way I describe my own sexual assault: I have no conscious memory of it, yet I “know” it happened. This led me to what felt like a revolutionary concept: perhaps I had, as a result of rape at a very early age, left my body and experienced an NDE. For reasons at which I can only guess, my memory of the physical event and my retreat out of my body – and whatever happened on the other side – had been erased. I would guess that this was done to protect me and help me survive.

The emotional pain, shyness, reluctance to socialize, constant anxiety, and fear for my protection and future have been with me as long as I can remember. I have always known that I had to take care of myself, I could rely on nobody else for my physical, mental, or emotional wellbeing. Over the course of more than 60 years, that intuition has been borne out, and continues to be true.

I have always had a deep need and respect for the truth, beyond what most others would act on, even to my own detriment in terms of money or personal cost. If you don’t have truth, I felt, you don’t have anything. My mother’s description of me, as told to the mother of a friend of mine, was “very independent”.

Despite crippling shyness, I was compelled to utilize my musical talents in singing and acting. I have a number of stomach/digestive issues, and I am physically very sensitive. (I.e., things that are very painful to me would go unnoticed by many.) I have always tried to help others, though my efforts were often misunderstood. I feel a visceral pain at cruelty or subjugation of any kind, to anyone, whether I know them or not. I have always championed the underdog in most any situation or society at large, including (especially!) the animal kingdom.

My empathic abilities seem to be very sharp, yet indistinct. I can be overwhelmed by feelings that often make no sense to me, if I happen to notice. More often, I get totally lost in the emotion and react to that, and I don’t notice that it likely comes from people or circumstances around me. This is complicated by my own, often very strong, emotions. It took me decades to realize this was happening, and I am still learning how to differentiate and identify sources (me or not-me).

I describe this laundry list of “after-effects” as the only evidence of my NDE. It may seem like I’m jumping to conclusions, but that is the nebulous nature of my attributes and abilities. I have only my intuition to go on. It may sound self-absorbed, yet that seems to be my purpose here in this lifetime. My constant goal throughout my life has been to improve myself as a human being and increase my spiritual awareness. Everything else was secondary. (I was once told by a numerologist that I was hoping to make this my last incarnation.) For the most part, the only real achievements I have made during my life have been in introspection, self-realization, and personal evolution. And perhaps those are no small achievements. So, make of it what you will. If my story helps anyone else in their own journey, that will be a whole new kind of success for me.

Greeted by vibrantly-colored spirit guides and guardian angels

I was involved in a horrific three-car motor vehicle accident on Sunday, March 8th, 2020. Doctors told me that I am fortunate to be alive and that most people involved in a head-on collision such as mine don’t survive it. 

I am writing to you in part to process what I experienced during my accident and also try to find some answers or understanding about what happened to me. 

The accident occurred in front of my eldest daughter's home. I turned on my left-hand blinker, slowed down, and noticed a white car traveling extremely close behind me. I proceeded to slow down while going East on the residential street and felt the white car hit me from behind. That caused my car to spin out of control and forced me to go over the divider into oncoming traffic proceeding Westbound where I was hit again head-on. I lost consciousness after the second impact. When my daughter approached my car she mentioned that when she first saw me after the accident my eyes were a distinctive blue-white 'haze' and a type of milky color in my eyes. She saw me slumped over the steering wheel making a gurgling sound and not breathing.  

What I saw was myself being tossed back and forth in the car with a cloud of white smoke surrounding me, which I assume was the airbag deploying, but I was not connecting with the person in the driver's seat at the time. While I was observing myself in the car, I noticed the color of the t-shirt as the most brilliant magenta color and finally realized the person in the car was me, because I specifically wore that t-shirt for comfort and it’s one of my favorite t-shirts. As I was connecting that the person in the driver seat was me, at that moment I was literally out of my physical body. Next, I observed me slumped over the steering wheel and then I felt my body floating away from the inside of my car and I started rising above my car.

I had the most incredible feeling of oneness and joy and absolutely no pain at all. I can’t really describe it, but I could see everything around me, under me, above me and behind me. While I was fascinated with this concept and trying to understand what I was experiencing, I noticed there were five to six of what I believe were my guardian angels and spirit guides that were waiting for me within the most indescribable light surrounding them. The brilliant colors are hard to describe, but they were mostly orange hues with yellow streams of light behind them. The colors were so vibrant and gorgeous. It felt like they were waiting for me to attend a kind of celebration. While I was observing this amazing scene, I thought of my family and instantly with great force and speed I was sucked back into my body, gasping for air, and started feeling the most excruciating pain. 

After eight weeks of recovering, I have gained a new perspective on life. I can honestly say I feared death and the unknown before my accident, but due to my experience, I have lost the fear of death. I have a new sense of what my purpose is and my spirituality has strengthened. I also tended to be a bit shy and not speak up or express myself; however, I found my voice and now have the ability to express my feelings more often. I am a doula and I cherish serving babies and their families and yet again it’s given me an increased awareness to serve and love my family and friends more often. 


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