NDE Accounts

From Lightning to Enlightenment

It was midsummer 2005, and I was sitting outside on the back steps of my house talking on the phone to a dear friend of mine who lived in Oregon. It was late in the day, and

my former husband had just gotten home from work. He was an electrician at one of the plants in the area. He had walked pass me as I was sitting there on the concrete steps and it had just begun to rain. I heard thunder in the distance so I asked him, as he walked pass me going into the house, if I would be safe talking on a cordless phone during a storm. He said I would be fine, so my friend and I continued talking as he went into the house to change clothes. About five minutes later, I heard a loud crack, just as a lightning bolt came from the angry sky, hitting my right arm. I felt the searing pain as the lightning passed through my body, knocking me to the ground, and leaving char marks on the concrete steps where my feet were and where my rear end was on the steps.

After passing through me, it traveled under the house and blew out the transformer that was directly in front of the house, rendering the entire neighborhood with no power for about 4 hours. I remember being in shock, feeling very strange, feeling very disoriented, very disconnected. Shaking all over, I was sweating and sick at my stomach, and the pain in my arm and my chest was unbearable. I could not believe what had just happened. I was on the ground and I felt my spirit lift up out of my body. I floated into the house and I was looking around. Everything looked so strange. Nothing looked right. Everything had a burnt yellow color to it. Even the air had this color, and then I noticed the furniture in the house was not my furniture.

I immediately looked at the lace curtains on the windows; they were not my curtains. I was beginning to feel frightened. There was no one in the house. Where did my husband go? Where did my children go? I could not find anyone, and there was no power. The transformer was blown, yet I could hear what sounded like an old time radio program playing. I wasn't floating anymore, I was walking. I walked through the rooms looking for whatever it was that was making the sound, but I never could find it. This must have only lasted for a couple of minutes, but time seemed to stop and things seemed to be moving in very slow motion.

Then, I found myself totally enfolded within the most beautiful fluffy pink and gold clouds. They were so magnificent! I was in awe of such beauty, and I felt such a deep sense of peace and a sense of total and complete love. This love was just like the love I had felt before, in the light so many years ago. It was so big, so huge, so complete, so deep. I felt like every pore of my body was open, and I was soaking all of it in. I was just basking in this deep beautiful love. I felt whole and complete and totally accepted. I had no idea what was happening. I was moving through these gorgeous clouds and, as I moved, I seemed to be moving laterally. There was not a sense of moving up or down. I could feel this huge presence all around me, such a loving presence pouring love onto me and into me. It was a love I have no words to explain. It was so beautiful! It brings tears to my eyes, even now.

Then, two men appeared and stood one on either side of me. They were young men, maybe in their 20’s or early 30’s. They were blond haired and blue eyed and they wore what looked like cream colored linen clothing. There was a brilliant glow around them; they seemed to be illuminated, and their joy seemed to pour from every cell in their bodies. I noticed the linen cloth they wore was very detailed, it was a very tightly woven cloth, and very soft. I could see the tiny weave pattern of the linen. Why that seemed important, I do not know, but it stood out very clearly. At first, I thought these men were angels, but, then, I realized who they were. These two men were my younger brothers who had died as babies. We were so happy to see each other; it was like a family reunion. They had beautiful smiles and they both looked so much like my dad. I knew he would be so proud of them both. I felt at ease as they led me from the clouds to a beautiful garden which was to the left of a huge glorious city.

As I looked around, I noticed that the colors were so bright and vibrant, and the air was sweet and clear. I could hear birds singing and I heard water running, like there was a stream nearby. There were trees and flowers, and the grass was cool and soft on my feet. I felt a soft, silken breeze touch my skin. As I stood in this breathtaking place, I felt a huge presence all around me just pouring love out onto me. I felt such joy and all I could do was stand there in awe at the beauty and the love that was all around me.

By this time, I was given the information that I had died and was entering Heaven. It was like an infused knowledge. It was given as a simple fact. There was no feeling of fear or shock. I felt like I was floating. It felt good, so I didn’t fight it. Then, as people gathered around me for support, I was given my life review. I was shown my life; everything I had ever said and done was shown to me. It was like watching a black and white movie on a reel. There was no feeling, no judgment at all. It was right then that I learned that God does not judge us, we judge ourselves, standing there before Him in all of His glory and perfection while we watch our lives pass in front of us.

For me, all He did was love me through it. Not a word was said, and it was over in a blink of an eye. It was after the life review that I heard a male voice say, “What you put out into the universe will come back to you”. As I stood there in the garden, I noticed once again, how beautiful and brilliant the colors of the flowers, the trees and the grass were. The reds were redder, the pinks more pink, and yellows more yellow. They were so much more vibrant than any colors I had ever seen. The air was sweetly fragrant. It was so clean and clear. The grass felt cool to the touch, like on a beautiful spring day. There were birds singing in the trees, and I saw a stream where the water glistened like diamonds in the sun, as it flowed over the rocks. I heard music, which was more beautiful than anything I had ever heard before. It was then that I noticed everything had its own pitch or sound. The trees had a sound, the leaves on the trees had their own sound, the grass had a sound, the rocks had their own sound, the water had yet another sound, and so on; and, when you take all of those individual sounds and put them all together, it sounded like the most magnificent symphony and choir ever created, and what’s even more amazing, was, everything and everyone in Heaven was singing praises to God.

It just poured out of every leaf, rock, blade of grass, every bird. It was the most beautiful sound I have ever heard. I can still hear it, even now, after all these years. It is like a song in the wind. Every now and then, I still hear the Heavenly music, as the breeze blows through the leaves on the trees. It carries me back there and I feel that deep, all encompassing love again. It heals my soul and my spirit soars. There is no time in Heaven, so I have no idea how long it took for each different step of this journey.

On one hand, it seemed like everything happened so fast, and, on the other hand, it seemed that time stood still. I began feeling as if I was attached to a giant IV bottle of knowledge. I was being fed all this knowledge, and I didn’t even have the words to ask the proper questions. I felt such joy and elation; it was one “Aha” moment after another. And, it all seemed so simple and so logical. I remember at one point saying with a huge smile on my face “Wow, is that all there is to it? That is so cool.” God, you are so awesome! We are the ones who make everything so complicated. "I saw angels, and they spoke to me showing me a lake and, in the lake, they showed me future events that would take place on earth; which have, in fact, taken place.

I also remember, I looked down the front of my body. I could see that I still had a body and it looked the same as it always had. I had on the same clothes as before and I noticed my long blond hair falling down below my shoulders. I could see my jean shorts and my feet. But I also noticed that my body felt much lighter, it felt kind of “floaty”. It was not heavy, like it is here on earth. On earth, we are weighted down with gravity. Everything seems very heavy, but there it was a light body. And I also noticed that I was no longer concerned about my body, how it looked, or if I fit in or not.

I know I keep saying it, but all I felt was huge love and total acceptance. It was so amazing! There were people everywhere. Everyone looked young, and no one was sick. Then, Jesus walked up to me. He was tall and so beautiful! His hair was dark and wavy, and very long down to his waist. His skin was dark, his eyes were a warm liquid brown, and he had a smile that melted my heart. He told me that He loved me, that He had walked beside me every day of my life and that He had never left my side. He told me He never would leave my side, not ever. He told me not to be afraid. I just stared at Him. I couldn’t speak, he was so beautiful. And, to think He actually died for me. I was speechless, as he stood there declaring His love for me.

Then I moved to the edge of the garden to what looked like a wooded glen. I could see golden sunbeams pouring through the branches of the tall oak and pine trees and I noticed a log lying next to a stream with little flowers dotting here and there. There were pine needles and a few pine cones scattered about. I went over to the log and sat down listening to the water as it danced across the rocks. When I looked up, I saw a man sitting on the other end of the log next to me. The air was cool and comfortable and I could hear the birds singing their sweet songs. I knew the man was God. He had shoulder length dark, curly hair, a neatly cut beard, beautiful blue eyes, and a happy smile. He was about 6ft tall and He wore a white robe and sandals. We sat there on the log together for the longest time just talking. He has a wonderful laugh and such sparkling happy eyes. He became silent for a moment, then He turned and facing me, He looked into my eyes and in a quiet, gentle voice, He asked me “What would you do if it were just me and you?”

I looked at Him, not having a clue what he meant, and said “What do you mean?” He smiled and was so patient like a father with a young child and He asked me again “What would you do if it were just me and you?” I looked down at my hands in my lap and I thought for a minute and then looked at Him again and said,” I don’t know what you mean”. He was still smiling and He very patiently said “No parents, no children, no husband, no friends, just me and you, no one else”. Looking into His beautiful face, I shook my head and kind of stuttered, feeling a bit intimidated and unworthy all of a sudden, I said “No, I would drive you crazy after the first ten minutes with all my questions and chatter and then you would not like me very much, if it was just me and you”.

He just smiled at me. He was so patient and so loving. So gentle and those feelings I had began disappearing. He then got up and motioned for me to follow. We walked a short distance and then, He showed me the whole universe with no one in it, No people, no buildings, no cars, no animals, no trees, nothing but swirling, rainbow colored gases, sparkling diamond stars, and spinning planets. It was breathtakingly beautiful, but it seemed so huge. I never realized how big the universe really was. It seemed like within a second we were back again sitting on the log by the stream and He asked me once again “what would you do if it were just me and you?” I was at a loss for the right words to say to properly answer His question and He waited.

I found myself looking at a very large oak tree that was in front of me. I saw the details of the trunk and the little life giving veins in the tender leaves and the roots beneath the ground. What I saw was not just a tree, but the individual parts that made up the whole tree. And I saw how important all these parts were to the life of the tree and how important the tree was to the environment around the tree and then I could see how all things are connected to each other and that every part was important in its own way. I studied this for a few minutes, feeling that my noticing this was exactly what God had planned and that this was a very big part of understanding what God was trying to teach me, and then I answered Him.

Now, I have no idea why I would have answered Him in this manner since I have never read the Koran in my life, I have never even seen the book nor do I know anything about the Islam faith, but I said, “God, your hundredth name in the book of the Koran is God is everywhere, God is nowhere and God is in me” He said “yes, that is right, that it is, And?” I looked at the tree again then back at Him and said, “God, You made this tree, you are in this tree, so when I look at this tree I see you”. He looked at me smiling that beautiful smile and He said” yes, and…”

Then I began thinking about my parents and I said “God, You made my parents, you are in my parents, so when I see my parents I see you” again He said “yes and…” He was trying to get me to think further, so I began thinking that there are people in this world who are cruel to others and there are those who have hurt me and I don’t particularly care for these people so I said to Him” God, There are some people who I don’t really care for because they hurt others, but you made these people, you are in these people, so when I see these people, I see you”. He again smiled at me and He said “yes, that is right”. He said “Now, I have a question for you. When you look in the mirror, what do you see?” I looked down again at my hands and I thought for a moment, my normal response would have been something like, “I see me; No one special. Just me” but then I looked into His beautiful eyes and those feelings melted away because of the deep love I saw there. Then, I said “God, You made me, you are in me, so when I look in the mirror, I see you” He said “yes, that is right.” He seemed so happy and He was smiling from ear to ear. And I could feel His joy and His deep love surrounding me, I was completely immersed in His love as He looked at me. To me, this was so big. I could feel the hugeness of this revelation; I could feel it just spinning in my heart and mind.

I can see the beauty of God so easily in others all around me, but it is much more difficult to see God’s beauty in myself. I find, even now, I have to remind myself that I am special and I am beautiful. Each and every one of us is special to God. He made us, He is in us. He doesn’t make mistakes and he doesn’t make junk. To Him we are all important, we are all beautiful. He sees us with perfect love. We are imperfect beings who He loves perfectly. Perfect love makes our souls shine so beautifully. What I had to learn was that real beauty shines from deep within the soul. External beauty fades with time; it does with all of us; but real beauty comes from inside and never fades. It is internal and eternal. I had to learn that my worth as a human being isn’t dependent on what others think of me or whether they were happy with me or not I also needed to learn that happiness doesn't come from an external source, in order to be truly happy, It has to come from inside my own heart.. To God, I am me. That’s all, just me and in His eyes, I am a perfect being "just me". My worth is in being who God made me to be. I don't have to make everyone else happy. What God wanted me to know was He is always happy with me. What I have to do is be happy with myself and find Joy in my life. I have to stop worrying about what everyone else thinks. I need to see His beauty in myself.

We finished our conversation then we got up and started walking through the forest and were met by two beautiful ornately gowned women who led me to a calm, serene lake at the end of the wooded area. The two women I knew were angels and they began showing me what looked like moving pictures of future events that would take place on the earth. What was shown to me were the events stemmed from the 9/11 attacks and other terrorist attacks against our country as well as our financial institution crumbling or better said our money not being worth the paper it is written on, I was shown silver and gold coins being used to purchase things, also they said that in time we would be going back to the barter system as we had done long ago in the past. They showed me many natural disasters, such as earthquakes, volcanoes, tornadoes, and storms, and 6 huge waves of water covering the land. I also saw a woman in Canada who had a little boy in her car and her car went off the road because of flood waters and her car was immersed under the water and they were drowning. God sent angels in the form of people to pull them out but the boy had already passed away.

They told me he would survive however, and he did. She went on to promote a spiritual video series. They showed me the government and how they are destroying the peace in our world and how corrupt they are and they showed me the darkness that surrounds them, they showed me different governments being over thrown and huge riots in the streets. They showed me one particular riot where someone, a man, was throwing something through a store front window and there was a building nearby that was on fire, I also heard the sound of gunshots. They showed me the pockets of light that are still left in small sections called “safe havens”, mostly these areas are in the mountainous regions. They showed me how to see the dark clouds around the lands to know where the safe havens are located and the last thing they showed me was a silver ribbon splitting the united states apart, I was given knowledge that this ribbon was a river, I am assuming it was the Mississippi River, but they gave me no explanation as to the meaning of this "ribbon “other than the ribbon gets larger.

The truth is, to this day, when these things happen I am still as shocked and surprised as anyone that they actually happen the way that the angels showed me. It's only after the fact, that I realized,"Oh my gosh, that's what they showed me". It seems so incredible to me." I don't know why they showed me those things. What was I supposed to do with the information? They didn't say, so I just waited to see what would happen next... and when things did happen as they said it would, I was and still am amazed by it.

When I returned from my NDE, I lived in a complete state of bliss or oneness with God for about the first 6 months, I have a much stronger faith now than before, not religious but have a much more deeper relationship with God. I have visions and I see, smell and hear spirits. Many relationships have changed, been divorced and remarried. Right after my NDE, I had a spontaneous kundalini awakening, at first, I was unable to go into stores ,or churches ,or crowded places because I could feel the energy waves of other people, bright lights or loud music or dark colors would make me ill. I seem to attract lightning, have been hit 4 times, twice by ball lightning, twice were lightning bolts, lights flicker, and phone calls drop. Right after my NDE, I had so much energy I went 11 days with no sleep, I read everything I could get my hands on. I loved everything and everyone. I still do, but I'm a little more careful now, it has been 10 years so I have adjusted somewhat.

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New Zealand girl learns from epilepsy near-deaths

When I was 13, I was living in a world of torment after being diagnosed with epilepsy since I was 11 and having up to 6 tonic-clonic seizures every day. On top of that, our family had recently fallen apart with mum and dad’s divorce and our family moving around a lot because of such. 

It was a Saturday afternoon in Taupo, New Zealand. Our family were splashing around having a swim at the Taupo BC Public pools.  I remember talking to a friend in the pool, then my epilepsy auras quickly took over and I had a tonic-clonic seizure immediately. I had no time to get myself out.  As normal during seizures, my memory was blacked out.  But I do recall physically changing from a physical state of extreme panic and anxiety, gasping for life while drowning – to an immediate trance of being pain-free, detached from the pain that I was experiencing. 

It felt like a physical and spiritual transition where I was approximately 20 feet above everyone in spirit.  There were approximately 20 people that were crowded watching the life saver resuscitate me while I was on the concrete ground out of the pool. I spiritually felt relief while I was looking down and definitely felt like continuing my journey into the spiritual world. But I felt a force and presence of another spirit urging me to go back to earth, my time was not yet up. I was briefly wrestling with that spirit as I didn’t want to return back to my body. But I was forced back and all I could recall was coughing up water after my spirit reunited with my body. 

Having experienced a seizure as well as drowning, my memory was not extremely vivid but I do recall how much pain I was in, especially short breath and panic breathing. Then vividly being taken away in an ambulance.  My recovery was a mix of ongoing seizures while I was in hospital until I was back at home recovering with my mother around. 

From that experience, I developed an extreme phobia for beaches, pools, and baths.  It was a daily battle even having showers for a while.  I was banned from swimming sports at high school and also cross country sports – which was totally fine with myself.  To this day, whilst I have become very sensitive to all my feelings, I accept that.   

My 2nd NDE was when I was 17 during the Christmas holiday period in 1995, I was doing volunteer work at Kiwi Ranch Youth Camp grounds in Rotorua New Zealand.  Approximately 100 of us were attending the fun Luge adventure park rides in Rotorua.  At that time, my epilepsy seizures were controlled with medications so I was taking the risk of doing different activities that I used to be restricted from doing.  I recall doing a flying fox with all my safety mechanisms in place. There were approximately 10 different rides from one stop to another – like zig-zag rides. 

Even after the first ride, I struggled to make it to the end, as the ride kept slowing down each time.  By the time it came to my 3rd ride down, I was barely reaching the end of the ride to jump off and there was no ground underneath me.  I started to extremely panic as I had no energy to hold onto the ride for so long.  I had to struggle to wriggle myself down to where I could safely stand with ground underneath me – approximately 10 metres away from me.  But I wasn’t moving and felt like I was struggling to hold on, so much that I had to let go and started suffocating while dangling from the flying fox safety belt.  I was losing consciousness fast while I was severely panicking about dying from suffocation.  I was coming in and out of consciousness, but vividly recall a teenage boy jumping onto the side of a cliff close by to me and reaching out to me with a long stick. I barely had any energy at all. But what I did have, I held onto that stick fast and was pulled down where he loosened my safety belt and I floated in and out of consciousness.  Any seconds later, hanging on the flying fox, I would have died.  He was my teenage hero and was only 17!  I was lifted to the First Aid room and then to the hospital where I recovered from that experience.

My 3rd NDE was when I was 19 in 1997. I was doing my late night studies for university when a sudden severe pain came upon me from my left abdomen area and I was raced to Waikato Hospital, New Zealand.  According to a female, it was as painful as giving birth to a baby.  The world was in commotion with the severity of my pains.  I was screaming tears of agony.  While I was in a hospital lift on a hospital bed with an emergency bed, I recall a quick blackout happened as pain got so severe. 

All I recall the next day is slowly opening my eyes on a life machine and doctors shining a light into my eyes.  I couldn’t hear anything they were saying at first. I can’t recall which day later they told me this, but I was informed that I died from having a ruptured appendix burst which triggered off a seizure during that experience. They had to rush me to the emergency room to do CPR to recover me, then on a life machine once they tracked my heart beat again.  I can’t even remember which doctor told me those words as my memory was very vague and I don’t recall any memory of the spirit life experience.  I stayed in hospital for 7 days before returning home and sleeping mostly, while taking pain relievers. It was a slow journey upwards, but I vividly still remember that experience, especially the pain.

I have come to learn from these experiences that there’s a purpose as to why I’m still alive.  A few decades later I am a solo mother with one child, having studied 3 college degrees, and running my own 2 businesses.  These experiences taught me a lot about having empathy and having a passion to pay it forward and share my lived experiences with other people. 

I won’t deny that suicidal ideation has crossed my mind a lot having experienced these traumas.  But I also look at these experiences as big learning experiences.  I am not afraid of dying again. These experiences have given me a sense of purpose, a sense of belonging, a sense of love. In NZ Māori, we have common quotes, whakatauki, and one of my favourite quotes is:  He aha te mea nui o te ao?  He tangata, he tangata, he tangata – What is the most important thing in this world?  The people, the people, the people. 

Teen wishes for death, but is shown who she really is

The Awakening

My life truly started with a Divine Encounter that shifted my world view when I was 16 years old. At this point in my life I was fighting for my life as my body was being attacked by an “incurable” autoimmune disease called Lupus.  Within four months of the diagnosis, my kidneys were failing, heart problems, hair loss, arthritis throughout my entire body, internal swelling of my organs, unsightly skin lesions and loads of medication made me lose grasp of who I even was. I had withered away to skin and bones and when I looked at myself in the mirror, I didn't even recognize the person staring back at me. 

Then I had a dream that would change my life forever. I remember this night as vividly today as I did then. 

On this particular night, I decided to give up on life. I did not want to live anymore. All I wanted was for someone to put me out of my misery. I felt hopeless. I felt angry. I was tired of the endless trips to the doctor, plates of toxic medication, the painful shots in my rear for anemia, the nausea from the chemo and the depressing sight of my hair falling out in clumps and looping sense of hopelessness.  I was so weak that I couldn’t even walk and my entire body was swollen with fluid due to failing kidneys - a trip to the hospital was imminent to begin kidney dialysis. 

I felt like I was trapped in a deteriorating body that wasn’t mine. And the future I had planned with my full ride soccer scholarship was now just a faded memory.

On this particular night, I did something I hadn’t done in years. I got down on my knees and surrendered everything I had left to this unknown God force that I was supposed to be available to me at all times. This was my breaking point. I began uncontrollably sobbing, releasing what seemed like emotions that had been held back my whole life, then I asked out loud…

“If there is anyone listening, if there is a God, please help me or take me. I don’t want to live like this anymore and I can’t do this alone, I need help. If you are there please help me. I give up.” 

I cried until I was dry and then went to bed.

That night I had a dream that would change my life forever. In this dream I went through many phases of healing, including forgiveness, love, gratitude and surrender, before eventually spinning off the ground and levitating slowly into the sky. There was a crowd of friends, family, and people I barely even knew all trying desperately to pull me back to the ground. As I floated up, I had a sense of peace wash throughout my entire body. I knew that I was dying but I was okay with it, I felt like I was returning home and that a huge weight had been lifted.

I asked for everyone to let me go. I wasn’t afraid of dying anymore. I then shot up into the most pure, white, loving, light that held me in a cocoon of radiant love and bliss that I will never be able to explain with words. In that moment, I knew who I/we are beyond this physical experience. I felt the eternalness of my nature. The perfection of source. The perfection of all life. Every experience that had led me to that point flashed through my inner sight like a movie that beautifully illustrated how every experience had perfectly led me to this moment. 

I experienced the perfection of my sickness, of my physical experience, the perfection of everything in my life that had led me to that moment, I felt a deep connection with ALL, with consciousness itself and this feeling of oneness was so Divinely beautiful that I couldn't feel anything but the truth of my divine essence. I had been gifted with a remembrance of my true nature, and this was the gift i had needed to heal. My soul then asked to return to Earth, without words - there was a deep yearning to share this love I had experienced with the world.

In an instant I dropped from this glowing, loving place back into my bed. I hit the bed like I had fallen out of another dimension and woke up gasping for air like I was taking the first breath of my new life. I was crying tears of bliss, and was so overwhelmingly happy that I couldn't contain myself. I knew I was healed. I knew I wasn't sick any more, I knew I never was sick. It had all been an illusion. 

I jumped up and ran up a flight of stairs that a couple hours prior, I couldn't have imagined doing, to go wake up my parents and tell them the good news. I turned on the lights and announced I was healed and they had nothing to worry about. They thought I was crazy but that didn't matter to me. Nothing could take away this internal knowingness of my true nature and this knowingness has stayed rooted deep with me my whole life.

For the next 4 months I awoke with the sun, no alarm, with a deep desire to sit in silence with myself to enjoy the love that was outpouring from my heart. I was so joyous that I almost couldn't contain it. Something inside me had shifted and it felt amazing. All feelings of lack, doubt, pity, limitation, weakness and struggle were wiped clean. I felt the interconnectedness of everything around me. I knew I was a part of everything I saw and could feel the energetic connection that tied everything together. Every day was full of tears of bliss.

Although my complete recovery from the disease took a little over 4 months, the healing had occurred instantaneously in my mind. And from that moment on I started hiding all my medication, because I knew it was preventing my body from healing itself. For 4 months I kept this a secret from my parents and doctors until I went in for my final lab work that revealed my kidneys were healed and functioning perfectly without any scarring. There was no sign of the lupus.  I have now been symptom free and medication free for 15 years.

The Fade

I thought this beam of light coming from my heart was never going to go away. For months, I effortlessly flowed through life and witnessed profound healing. 

It was when I returned to high school that this light within me began to fade. I had no words to explain what I had experienced, and I felt nobody understood. I now see that I had to lower my vibration to fit in. I slowly began to shut down and revert inward. Within a month of being back at school the en”light”ened feeling that I had was greatly dimmed. My mind used this time of weakness to convince me that this experience was nothing extraordinary after all.

In college and the years following, I used drinking to numb this feeling of separation. What I thought was bringing me happiness externally was actually creating a bigger gap internally. The drinking and socializing became a filler. On the outside looking in, my life seemed great. I had a high paying job at a company I loved, penthouse apartment, nice car and beautiful friends and experiences. This lens of reality was beautiful while it lasted but deep down, I felt that something was missing.

On November 7th, 2016 I had a heart attack. This experience triggered another moment of clarity that changed the trajectory of my life yet again. Everything that I experienced in my dream flashed back into my vision and I knew instantly that I had to make a big change and follow the calling in my heart. I felt there was something much bigger I was here to offer the world and it was time to figure out what that was.

I decided to make a shift and move across the world to a small island in Thailand known for its holistic health community that I felt called to explore. I was guided to return back to this place of oneness that I had experienced in my dream. It would be from this place of love and light within that I would be able to heal my heart and begin to share this radiant nature with others to assist in their own self-healing and remembrance.

Returning to Flow and Alignment

I have now been living on Koh Phangan for the past year, on a multi-dimensional self-healing journey. At first, I set out to heal my physical heart from the heart attack but the journey has resulted in much deeper healing. I peeled back the layers, belief systems and social constructs that previously shaped my reality and now focus on tuning into the co-creative, loving, infinite energy source that lies within to support me in creating and living an inspired life.

It is my soul’s mission to help humanity rise above all perceived limitations and tap into the infinite wellspring of energy that lies within, to live an inspired, happy, healthy and harmonious life. 

If you are reading this, your soul has guided you here. Your intuition is whispering to you, and now it is time to listen. Nothing is impossible. There is something profound ready to flow out of you. I am here to help inspire you, give you goosebumps and shine a light on the limitless possibilities that surround you and are within you.

Through my own personal healing and self-discovery journey, I discovered the breath to be a potent medicine, that is a transformational tool for gently cleansing and realigning our mind, body and spirit. The breath is with us every minute of our lives as a silent witness to our existence, but it is also an intuitive guide that can take you on an inner journey of self-discovery, transformation and profound healing. 

Since my very first powerful introduction to breathwork I have been repeatedly astounded by the transformative mental, emotional, physical and spiritual healing that continues to transpire. 

The best part of breathwork is that it is SIMPLE. You can stop looking outside of yourself for the answers. Everything you seek is waiting to be tuned in within and the breath is a simple tool that can activate this inner remembrance of our divine nature.

What I Do Now

After selling everything I owned and making the leap into the unknown, I have been on a journey of coming back to myself to witness and cherish the eternal “I AM” within, beyond all the constructs I had previously built up that defined me. I am continually amazed as I learn more about the profound nature of our mind, body and spirit. I want to share all that I have learned with the world. In the past year this is what has transpired:

  • I co-founded Bhavana Bottle - an eco-friendly, tea infuser bottle that is part of a global initiative to save our oceans from plastic waste. The bottles are being sold globally.  We donate a portion from every sale to help clean and restore our oceans from the damage caused by single-use plastic.
  • I am passionate about teaching meditation and breathwork sessions at consciousness festivals, retreat centers, online and privately.
  • I love teaching SOMA breathwork at healing centers, workshops, online, at festivals and one-on-one sessions.

Favorite Quote: 

At the center of your being, you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want. - Lao Tzu

Begged to return to care for his babies

I was run over by a 5 ton truck the first day on the job. I died waiting on help to arrive in a policeman's lap as he tried saving me.

I died but remained above my body looking down…feeling sad as I was drawn toward the light above me. I felt 3 feet from my body and just as close to the light. The light spoke to me, telling me in a human voice it was time. I believe I was returned because I had only thought of my children ,I pleaded please my babies, I need to raise my babies, I had a 2yr old and a 3-4 yr old, The light spoke, “if you return you won't like it.” Please I pleaded again. On my 3rd plea for my babies, I was returned with the words, “you won't like it,” “So be it.” I was back in my body, screaming in pain. I watched them working on my body, shocking my heart. The 3rd shock, I returned.

I withdrew from family, felt worthless, had a need to feel the feeling that I felt while dead. As time passed I lost love toward my wife, a fight she held onto for another 16 yrs until our kids were raised. We are divorced.

I no longer fear death. When I was dead, I felt the greatest peace. At 55, I know it won't be long now until I return.

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