NDE Accounts

From Lightning to Enlightenment

It was midsummer 2005, and I was sitting outside on the back steps of my house talking on the phone to a dear friend of mine who lived in Oregon. It was late in the day, and

my former husband had just gotten home from work. He was an electrician at one of the plants in the area. He had walked pass me as I was sitting there on the concrete steps and it had just begun to rain. I heard thunder in the distance so I asked him, as he walked pass me going into the house, if I would be safe talking on a cordless phone during a storm. He said I would be fine, so my friend and I continued talking as he went into the house to change clothes. About five minutes later, I heard a loud crack, just as a lightning bolt came from the angry sky, hitting my right arm. I felt the searing pain as the lightning passed through my body, knocking me to the ground, and leaving char marks on the concrete steps where my feet were and where my rear end was on the steps.

After passing through me, it traveled under the house and blew out the transformer that was directly in front of the house, rendering the entire neighborhood with no power for about 4 hours. I remember being in shock, feeling very strange, feeling very disoriented, very disconnected. Shaking all over, I was sweating and sick at my stomach, and the pain in my arm and my chest was unbearable. I could not believe what had just happened. I was on the ground and I felt my spirit lift up out of my body. I floated into the house and I was looking around. Everything looked so strange. Nothing looked right. Everything had a burnt yellow color to it. Even the air had this color, and then I noticed the furniture in the house was not my furniture.

I immediately looked at the lace curtains on the windows; they were not my curtains. I was beginning to feel frightened. There was no one in the house. Where did my husband go? Where did my children go? I could not find anyone, and there was no power. The transformer was blown, yet I could hear what sounded like an old time radio program playing. I wasn't floating anymore, I was walking. I walked through the rooms looking for whatever it was that was making the sound, but I never could find it. This must have only lasted for a couple of minutes, but time seemed to stop and things seemed to be moving in very slow motion.

Then, I found myself totally enfolded within the most beautiful fluffy pink and gold clouds. They were so magnificent! I was in awe of such beauty, and I felt such a deep sense of peace and a sense of total and complete love. This love was just like the love I had felt before, in the light so many years ago. It was so big, so huge, so complete, so deep. I felt like every pore of my body was open, and I was soaking all of it in. I was just basking in this deep beautiful love. I felt whole and complete and totally accepted. I had no idea what was happening. I was moving through these gorgeous clouds and, as I moved, I seemed to be moving laterally. There was not a sense of moving up or down. I could feel this huge presence all around me, such a loving presence pouring love onto me and into me. It was a love I have no words to explain. It was so beautiful! It brings tears to my eyes, even now.

Then, two men appeared and stood one on either side of me. They were young men, maybe in their 20’s or early 30’s. They were blond haired and blue eyed and they wore what looked like cream colored linen clothing. There was a brilliant glow around them; they seemed to be illuminated, and their joy seemed to pour from every cell in their bodies. I noticed the linen cloth they wore was very detailed, it was a very tightly woven cloth, and very soft. I could see the tiny weave pattern of the linen. Why that seemed important, I do not know, but it stood out very clearly. At first, I thought these men were angels, but, then, I realized who they were. These two men were my younger brothers who had died as babies. We were so happy to see each other; it was like a family reunion. They had beautiful smiles and they both looked so much like my dad. I knew he would be so proud of them both. I felt at ease as they led me from the clouds to a beautiful garden which was to the left of a huge glorious city.

As I looked around, I noticed that the colors were so bright and vibrant, and the air was sweet and clear. I could hear birds singing and I heard water running, like there was a stream nearby. There were trees and flowers, and the grass was cool and soft on my feet. I felt a soft, silken breeze touch my skin. As I stood in this breathtaking place, I felt a huge presence all around me just pouring love out onto me. I felt such joy and all I could do was stand there in awe at the beauty and the love that was all around me.

By this time, I was given the information that I had died and was entering Heaven. It was like an infused knowledge. It was given as a simple fact. There was no feeling of fear or shock. I felt like I was floating. It felt good, so I didn’t fight it. Then, as people gathered around me for support, I was given my life review. I was shown my life; everything I had ever said and done was shown to me. It was like watching a black and white movie on a reel. There was no feeling, no judgment at all. It was right then that I learned that God does not judge us, we judge ourselves, standing there before Him in all of His glory and perfection while we watch our lives pass in front of us.

For me, all He did was love me through it. Not a word was said, and it was over in a blink of an eye. It was after the life review that I heard a male voice say, “What you put out into the universe will come back to you”. As I stood there in the garden, I noticed once again, how beautiful and brilliant the colors of the flowers, the trees and the grass were. The reds were redder, the pinks more pink, and yellows more yellow. They were so much more vibrant than any colors I had ever seen. The air was sweetly fragrant. It was so clean and clear. The grass felt cool to the touch, like on a beautiful spring day. There were birds singing in the trees, and I saw a stream where the water glistened like diamonds in the sun, as it flowed over the rocks. I heard music, which was more beautiful than anything I had ever heard before. It was then that I noticed everything had its own pitch or sound. The trees had a sound, the leaves on the trees had their own sound, the grass had a sound, the rocks had their own sound, the water had yet another sound, and so on; and, when you take all of those individual sounds and put them all together, it sounded like the most magnificent symphony and choir ever created, and what’s even more amazing, was, everything and everyone in Heaven was singing praises to God.

It just poured out of every leaf, rock, blade of grass, every bird. It was the most beautiful sound I have ever heard. I can still hear it, even now, after all these years. It is like a song in the wind. Every now and then, I still hear the Heavenly music, as the breeze blows through the leaves on the trees. It carries me back there and I feel that deep, all encompassing love again. It heals my soul and my spirit soars. There is no time in Heaven, so I have no idea how long it took for each different step of this journey.

On one hand, it seemed like everything happened so fast, and, on the other hand, it seemed that time stood still. I began feeling as if I was attached to a giant IV bottle of knowledge. I was being fed all this knowledge, and I didn’t even have the words to ask the proper questions. I felt such joy and elation; it was one “Aha” moment after another. And, it all seemed so simple and so logical. I remember at one point saying with a huge smile on my face “Wow, is that all there is to it? That is so cool.” God, you are so awesome! We are the ones who make everything so complicated. "I saw angels, and they spoke to me showing me a lake and, in the lake, they showed me future events that would take place on earth; which have, in fact, taken place.

I also remember, I looked down the front of my body. I could see that I still had a body and it looked the same as it always had. I had on the same clothes as before and I noticed my long blond hair falling down below my shoulders. I could see my jean shorts and my feet. But I also noticed that my body felt much lighter, it felt kind of “floaty”. It was not heavy, like it is here on earth. On earth, we are weighted down with gravity. Everything seems very heavy, but there it was a light body. And I also noticed that I was no longer concerned about my body, how it looked, or if I fit in or not.

I know I keep saying it, but all I felt was huge love and total acceptance. It was so amazing! There were people everywhere. Everyone looked young, and no one was sick. Then, Jesus walked up to me. He was tall and so beautiful! His hair was dark and wavy, and very long down to his waist. His skin was dark, his eyes were a warm liquid brown, and he had a smile that melted my heart. He told me that He loved me, that He had walked beside me every day of my life and that He had never left my side. He told me He never would leave my side, not ever. He told me not to be afraid. I just stared at Him. I couldn’t speak, he was so beautiful. And, to think He actually died for me. I was speechless, as he stood there declaring His love for me.

Then I moved to the edge of the garden to what looked like a wooded glen. I could see golden sunbeams pouring through the branches of the tall oak and pine trees and I noticed a log lying next to a stream with little flowers dotting here and there. There were pine needles and a few pine cones scattered about. I went over to the log and sat down listening to the water as it danced across the rocks. When I looked up, I saw a man sitting on the other end of the log next to me. The air was cool and comfortable and I could hear the birds singing their sweet songs. I knew the man was God. He had shoulder length dark, curly hair, a neatly cut beard, beautiful blue eyes, and a happy smile. He was about 6ft tall and He wore a white robe and sandals. We sat there on the log together for the longest time just talking. He has a wonderful laugh and such sparkling happy eyes. He became silent for a moment, then He turned and facing me, He looked into my eyes and in a quiet, gentle voice, He asked me “What would you do if it were just me and you?”

I looked at Him, not having a clue what he meant, and said “What do you mean?” He smiled and was so patient like a father with a young child and He asked me again “What would you do if it were just me and you?” I looked down at my hands in my lap and I thought for a minute and then looked at Him again and said,” I don’t know what you mean”. He was still smiling and He very patiently said “No parents, no children, no husband, no friends, just me and you, no one else”. Looking into His beautiful face, I shook my head and kind of stuttered, feeling a bit intimidated and unworthy all of a sudden, I said “No, I would drive you crazy after the first ten minutes with all my questions and chatter and then you would not like me very much, if it was just me and you”.

He just smiled at me. He was so patient and so loving. So gentle and those feelings I had began disappearing. He then got up and motioned for me to follow. We walked a short distance and then, He showed me the whole universe with no one in it, No people, no buildings, no cars, no animals, no trees, nothing but swirling, rainbow colored gases, sparkling diamond stars, and spinning planets. It was breathtakingly beautiful, but it seemed so huge. I never realized how big the universe really was. It seemed like within a second we were back again sitting on the log by the stream and He asked me once again “what would you do if it were just me and you?” I was at a loss for the right words to say to properly answer His question and He waited.

I found myself looking at a very large oak tree that was in front of me. I saw the details of the trunk and the little life giving veins in the tender leaves and the roots beneath the ground. What I saw was not just a tree, but the individual parts that made up the whole tree. And I saw how important all these parts were to the life of the tree and how important the tree was to the environment around the tree and then I could see how all things are connected to each other and that every part was important in its own way. I studied this for a few minutes, feeling that my noticing this was exactly what God had planned and that this was a very big part of understanding what God was trying to teach me, and then I answered Him.

Now, I have no idea why I would have answered Him in this manner since I have never read the Koran in my life, I have never even seen the book nor do I know anything about the Islam faith, but I said, “God, your hundredth name in the book of the Koran is God is everywhere, God is nowhere and God is in me” He said “yes, that is right, that it is, And?” I looked at the tree again then back at Him and said, “God, You made this tree, you are in this tree, so when I look at this tree I see you”. He looked at me smiling that beautiful smile and He said” yes, and…”

Then I began thinking about my parents and I said “God, You made my parents, you are in my parents, so when I see my parents I see you” again He said “yes and…” He was trying to get me to think further, so I began thinking that there are people in this world who are cruel to others and there are those who have hurt me and I don’t particularly care for these people so I said to Him” God, There are some people who I don’t really care for because they hurt others, but you made these people, you are in these people, so when I see these people, I see you”. He again smiled at me and He said “yes, that is right”. He said “Now, I have a question for you. When you look in the mirror, what do you see?” I looked down again at my hands and I thought for a moment, my normal response would have been something like, “I see me; No one special. Just me” but then I looked into His beautiful eyes and those feelings melted away because of the deep love I saw there. Then, I said “God, You made me, you are in me, so when I look in the mirror, I see you” He said “yes, that is right.” He seemed so happy and He was smiling from ear to ear. And I could feel His joy and His deep love surrounding me, I was completely immersed in His love as He looked at me. To me, this was so big. I could feel the hugeness of this revelation; I could feel it just spinning in my heart and mind.

I can see the beauty of God so easily in others all around me, but it is much more difficult to see God’s beauty in myself. I find, even now, I have to remind myself that I am special and I am beautiful. Each and every one of us is special to God. He made us, He is in us. He doesn’t make mistakes and he doesn’t make junk. To Him we are all important, we are all beautiful. He sees us with perfect love. We are imperfect beings who He loves perfectly. Perfect love makes our souls shine so beautifully. What I had to learn was that real beauty shines from deep within the soul. External beauty fades with time; it does with all of us; but real beauty comes from inside and never fades. It is internal and eternal. I had to learn that my worth as a human being isn’t dependent on what others think of me or whether they were happy with me or not I also needed to learn that happiness doesn't come from an external source, in order to be truly happy, It has to come from inside my own heart.. To God, I am me. That’s all, just me and in His eyes, I am a perfect being "just me". My worth is in being who God made me to be. I don't have to make everyone else happy. What God wanted me to know was He is always happy with me. What I have to do is be happy with myself and find Joy in my life. I have to stop worrying about what everyone else thinks. I need to see His beauty in myself.

We finished our conversation then we got up and started walking through the forest and were met by two beautiful ornately gowned women who led me to a calm, serene lake at the end of the wooded area. The two women I knew were angels and they began showing me what looked like moving pictures of future events that would take place on the earth. What was shown to me were the events stemmed from the 9/11 attacks and other terrorist attacks against our country as well as our financial institution crumbling or better said our money not being worth the paper it is written on, I was shown silver and gold coins being used to purchase things, also they said that in time we would be going back to the barter system as we had done long ago in the past. They showed me many natural disasters, such as earthquakes, volcanoes, tornadoes, and storms, and 6 huge waves of water covering the land. I also saw a woman in Canada who had a little boy in her car and her car went off the road because of flood waters and her car was immersed under the water and they were drowning. God sent angels in the form of people to pull them out but the boy had already passed away.

They told me he would survive however, and he did. She went on to promote a spiritual video series. They showed me the government and how they are destroying the peace in our world and how corrupt they are and they showed me the darkness that surrounds them, they showed me different governments being over thrown and huge riots in the streets. They showed me one particular riot where someone, a man, was throwing something through a store front window and there was a building nearby that was on fire, I also heard the sound of gunshots. They showed me the pockets of light that are still left in small sections called “safe havens”, mostly these areas are in the mountainous regions. They showed me how to see the dark clouds around the lands to know where the safe havens are located and the last thing they showed me was a silver ribbon splitting the united states apart, I was given knowledge that this ribbon was a river, I am assuming it was the Mississippi River, but they gave me no explanation as to the meaning of this "ribbon “other than the ribbon gets larger.

The truth is, to this day, when these things happen I am still as shocked and surprised as anyone that they actually happen the way that the angels showed me. It's only after the fact, that I realized,"Oh my gosh, that's what they showed me". It seems so incredible to me." I don't know why they showed me those things. What was I supposed to do with the information? They didn't say, so I just waited to see what would happen next... and when things did happen as they said it would, I was and still am amazed by it.

When I returned from my NDE, I lived in a complete state of bliss or oneness with God for about the first 6 months, I have a much stronger faith now than before, not religious but have a much more deeper relationship with God. I have visions and I see, smell and hear spirits. Many relationships have changed, been divorced and remarried. Right after my NDE, I had a spontaneous kundalini awakening, at first, I was unable to go into stores ,or churches ,or crowded places because I could feel the energy waves of other people, bright lights or loud music or dark colors would make me ill. I seem to attract lightning, have been hit 4 times, twice by ball lightning, twice were lightning bolts, lights flicker, and phone calls drop. Right after my NDE, I had so much energy I went 11 days with no sleep, I read everything I could get my hands on. I loved everything and everyone. I still do, but I'm a little more careful now, it has been 10 years so I have adjusted somewhat.

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Woman's love is measured during her life review

In the summer of 1998, I was going down the stairs at the music school in Frederiksberg, Copenhagen, Denmark where I taught. I had just heard my students' end-of-term concert. I got a sudden pain in my chest and a feeling of pressure on my chest, which I now recognise as angina pectoris. (I had had a similar experience two weeks before, but an ECG a couple of days later had failed to show anything abnormal.) I tried to walk home but the pain and pressure got worse. I wasn't far from the hospital but I didn't think I could walk there and looked around for a taxi. Instead, a bus came and I took that one or two stops to the hospital. At the hospital gate, two porters helped me and put me into a wheelchair. They ran with me to the emergency room. 

There the doctor found that I had ischemia and an abnormal ECG (ST depression, as far as I remember). I was given several doses of nitroglycerin spray, which gradually relieved the pain in my chest but gave me a terrible headache.

I was admitted to the cardiac ward. After initial checks and a repeat of my story I was left on my own for a while (I have no idea how long). Suddenly at the foot of my bed I saw and heard a children's choir singing absolutely beautifully. It then dawned on me that I knew all the children. They had been my violin pupils in London many years before. I had taught them (33 in all) when they were about 3-8 years old. I had always had my doubts about being a good enough violin teacher, but now I was "told" that my teaching had been good enough and that I had meant a lot to each of those children. I saw my teaching and my relationship with the children from their point of view, so to speak.

On the right of the choir there was a kind of counter that made a sound like a ratchet, the kind of ratchets people use to make a noise at British football matches. Every thought and action in my life was being examined at lightning speed and the amount of love in them was being measured. There was a column of green light on the right that grew higher and higher as the amount of love was counted and measured. My life was passing before my eyes at lightning speed. It became very clear that the only thing that mattered in life was how loving my thoughts and actions are. I knew this theoretically before, but now I really knew it.

I didn't get further in this life review than my life as a violin teacher in London (up to about the age of 27) because I was suddenly pulled out of this experience when a male nurse came and injected some medication into a vein in my left hand. 

The experience was both wonderful and unforgettable, and at the same time frightening. When I first saw the choir, I thought, "Oh no, I'm having a near-death experience." I was only 45 and felt too young to die. My father had died when he was about 43, so I was afraid I was going to suffer the same fate. (I had read about near-death experiences some years before, so I was familiar with the concept.)

I was given a lot of medication and a temporary diagnosis of Prinzmetal's angina. There was some doubt about the diagnosis. I had no hardening of the arteries. It wasn't until 2017 (nineteen years later) that a scan showed a right coronary artery anomaly - something that I had apparently been born with.

I never spoke about my experience for fear of ridicule. Not everyone shares my interest in spiritual matters. However, after hearing a lecture by Pim Van Lommel in Copenhagen in March 2018, I told him my story. He said immediately, "You haven't told anyone that before, have you?" He was right, of course.

At that time I was taking part in a heart rehabilitation group, so I plucked up courage (spurred on by Pim Van Lommel's accounts of many heart patients who had had NDEs) and told my story. The amazing thing was that out of the five patients in our group, four had had NDEs but none had mentioned them to anyone. It was a very moving and uplifting session - not least for the male cardiac nurse who ran it.

Spanish Man Pleads to Return, Is Given More Time, and Now Serves Others

On May 22, 2011, I will never forget it, at 1:45 pm I suffered a fainting fit while I was taking part in a course for policemen training to get their diplomas. I suffered a heart attack and apparently, according to what I was told, I remained unconscious for some time. But I didn’t experience that unconsciousness at all. On the contrary, I saw myself in a place that I didn’t know, which surprised me and radically changed the way I saw life.

I was diagnosed with a left bundle branch block (for people into the medicine field), a syncope and a sudden death, as it is called in sports medicine. It was due to stress, when the heart cannot cope with everything that is happening and suddenly stops. That’s what happened.

I found myself in a totally different environment, in which there was a lot of light. Nothing was visible except for a man that was next to me and whom I didn’t know at all. He was all the time with me, telling me to be calm, giving me strength, as if he wanted to demonstrate that in that place, I was going to be okay.

The truth is that during the time I was there and from his words and the conversation we had, I could verify that he was a real being, and I could touch and feel him. I could also feel myself in that place, I could touch myself. I was totally physical. However, he told me that the body that I had used didn’t belong to me any longer and also told me that I had already come home. He was repeatedly telling me that I was already at home and to remain calm, that at that moment I was going to start living. I asked thousands of questions, because I have always been a very earthly person, very analytical and tremendously skeptical, and I have always liked to confirm and corroborate everything. I was all the time trying to verify whether what he was telling me was absolutely real.

That’s what I experienced in the first place. It was as if I was talking to any person on earth, with a completely normal voice, although he transmitted something that really caught my attention and that I analysed deeply, and it was his very slow, calm, confident and relaxed tone of voice. He showed astonishing certainty in what he said and also emitted peace. It was something that most amazed me, as I had never found that, anywhere in all my life.

I saw some forms on the floor, and I wanted to go and see, but he didn’t allow me. However, in the middle of the conversation, I could get closer and saw silhouettes of people, among whom I could only distinguish one clearly enough, and it was me. I was in a horizontal position and some people were doing something to me. The man told me that it had been my body. In fact, that scene was completely real; it was what it was, absolutely real. But on the other hand, I didn’t feel really involved with that. I was seeing it from a second-person perspective and it had absolutely nothing to do with me, nothing at all, although he clearly affirmed that it was about what we call death and also that it had been my vehicle for moving into a plane and a shape on a planet like this, the earth.

I had no idea at all where I was, but with time I have found out that it was a kind of antechamber, because he led me to some curtains. I think I was in a totally different place. I saw the scene that I have just told you about very blurred and vague, as if it were far away, until it gradually faded and finally got out of my sight. I am totally convinced that I was in another place, oh yes.

Then, that person explained to me that my time on earth had finished and that I had to go back home in order to do a reprogramming of my own work. He led me to some type of balls that were hanging vertically. I could touch those balls, champagne colored, totally physical and very thick, like billiard balls forming a curtain. I was totally the same person to the extent that I remembered my wife, and I said that all that was happening didn’t make sense. He was telling me that I wouldn’t go back, but that my wife, being a good person, would stay back. I also said that it wasn’t fair that she wouldn’t get to know that I was okay, that I continued, etc. So, during this conversation, he decided to go through the curtain of balls in order to ask whether I might go back to tell my wife this information.

In that antechamber I could see a relative of my wife. Other relatives and I had taken part in his burial, putting him inside a hole, covering everything with soil, etc. So, I felt then really surprised, kind of like, “There is something happening here, something serious that I don’t like. I am either having an extremely lucid dream or this man is completely right and I am dead.” This latter option was then confirmed when I could see my grandfather who had passed away 20 years ago. This supposed a complete verification of the reality I was living. At that moment I surrendered and said, “OK, I need to see my wife to tell her that everything continues, that I am OK and there is nothing wrong.”

It is really interesting, the fact that all the people I met there were in their best moments. My grandfather had been for me like my father, someone with whom I lived and deeply loved, with whom I had shared very beautiful moments and whom I knew really well. My grandfather died at 77 years old. I use the word ‘die’ so people can understand me, because I don’t believe in death now. It is the greatest lie that has been told to us and with which we have been programmed. When my grandfather left this plane or died, he was 77 years old, very stooped and crouched, with a lot of bone problems; but on that plane he looked like a person 25 or 30 years old, very tall and active. He was holding some kind of papers; I couldn’t see them exactly as he was walking fast. I couldn’t talk to him but I knew it was him, which was confirmed by the man next to me. He was really in his best moment, something really incredible. You could recognise him because you recognise the essence perfectly well.

On that plane, I never needed to ask who was this or that person or what was happening. It was as if I belonged to everything. That surprised me a lot as I have always been very restless and have asked about everything, sometimes being a bit annoying if I wanted to get information, but at those moments I didn’t need to ask anything at all.

But I absolutely needed to tell my wife that I was OK. I know her pretty well and I knew she was going to suffer and have a bad time, as she is very fragile. I needed to tell her that everything was okay, that everything continues, that death doesn’t exist and that there was nothing wrong with me and that I would wait for her. But that was never allowed; it was completely denied. I was told that once I got there, my path finished and then I was going to start living: “You are at home and now it is when real life begins.”

I wondered a lot of things, kind of like, “If it is now when I am going to start to live, what have I been doing to the present day?” I got some answers from him, that all that we are experiencing is a dream, a programming that we have so that we can learn. He also explained to me a lot of other ideas that are really amazing and which didn’t fit me at all, as I have been a very earthly person, nothing to do with that world at all.

They explained the different planes to me by showing me a pack of sheets of paper and telling me that every one of those sheets was a different plane of existence, although they are so close and so much together that they seem to be in the same place and in the same space-time. So, they may interact, and that’s why some people sometimes say, “I have seen a ghost; l have seen my grandfather,” etc. At any particular moment one can have access to another vibration, as the dividing line is so subtle that you can have access and interact with all those planes.

After the conversation I had with that man, he decided to go and ask if I could return to reassure my wife, as I had been telling him that people should be reassured, that my wife and I both needed it. Today, I know that I showed a lot of ego, attachment, etc., but all that made him go and ask. It took him a lot; it was horrible.

In the meantime, I could see people coming from everywhere and, curiously, they would come in pairs. They went through those curtains in pairs but only one came back, which surprised me a great deal. All those people coming were very happy, as if they had won the lottery, and I didn’t understand all that. I thought, where are all these people going? It was as if they were going to the place they wanted to go, and, in fact, I didn’t have the need to ask who they were. Everybody looked at you and it seemed that they knew you, as if you belonged to their group.

During that time I tried to open that curtain to find out, and my hands moved but the curtains didn’t, so I couldn’t have access at any time. After some time, this man, who is now a good friend of mine, came back and told me, “Antonio, you are allowed to go back, but there is a condition, as the reason to go back always has to be bigger than what you would do here. You can tell your wife, with complete freedom, everything that you have experienced here, what has happened, and you are going to have there an exact period of time.” And he told me the day when I would have to go back home. I live with that information. I know the time when I am going to go back home.

He also told me that I would have to tell my story to the rest of the world and in the moment that I finished doing it, I would come back, and he would be here waiting for me to lead me back home. And that’s how it happened. I got really happy and thought, following my materialistic way of thinking, “If I go back, this man will never ever see me again.” You can imagine what I was thinking. He also told me that it was going to hurt a lot. I have lived with 6 hernias and many other things for many years, so I’ve never been afraid of pain and have a very high pain threshold, and so I said, “Great!” But I will tell you something, in all my life I have never felt so much pain.

I feel the pain when he tells me, “OK, you go back. I am with you, don’t worry. It’s going to be easy but it will hurt. Don’t worry, l am with you.” I remember then that it was a suffocating pain, I felt like I was choking. I perfectly remember that I grasped his hands, held them, and I told him, “Help me, for God’s sake; I am dying.” That was the word I told him, as I felt like I was dying. He reassured me, told me to be calm, that nothing was wrong, and then I suddenly opened my eyes and found that someone was hitting my chest on top of me. I could see that I had come back to that reality of my mates from the tatami world, the training work that I had been doing when everything happened. Returning here was tremendously frustrating and painful, actually the worst of all the experiences.

I have written a couple of books and in my first book I speak about this person who was what many people know as our guide master, but I call H, because I never got to know his name and I had to call him something. The name H came to my mind and so I decided to provisionally call him H. I am not going to confirm to you who he was during my experience but I will tell you that everyone of us has a guide, a being who is permanently with us, and he is the one who is with us at the moment of coming here, in order to guide and impulse us into the experience we have to live. Of course these guides exist. We don’t thank them and they go unnoticed but, for example, currently my house is like a hostel. Since that day, I see them constantly, on the street, etc. I can also see the day when every person has to go home as well as see his or her guides and surrounding people, so as to be able to interact with them.

I experienced things that in the past I would have considered inconceivable. Until that moment, not only inconceivable but false, improbable or just lies. Today, I can happily say that all this is true, and note that all this is far more real than what we experience here. When I am asked, “Well, but how do you see those people and places?” I say, “Well, much more real than what I am seeing now. They are more real than you, more real than everything I experience, they are more physical than the people I can touch here.” Transmitting it with words is very difficult, but the senses of touch and sight are so clear and perfect that there is no kind of fluctuation or interference, absolutely nothing that may block the complete vision of things.

My life has radically changed. Nowadays, I have no expectations at all. I don’t search for anything at all. I go to the street without knowing where to go and what to do. I don’t judge anyone and I know that everybody has an extremely important essence that they can’t even sense, and I know that they have someone by their side who is teaching and instructing them, step by step, so they can get back home. I have taken away 5 basic things that I mention in my talks. Those are judgement, attachment, expectations, ego and fear. The first two years, as everything happened so fast, I felt something missing. People say, “Those are beautiful changes,” but I was for two years asking psychiatrists and friends that could corroborate that I had a very serious damage in my brain that nobody could see. But after those two years I could verify that it was the other way round, although I am still being medically checked, as I only had a 22 percent of cardiac viability, which is something incompatible with being alive, and was terminally ill, waiting for a transplant in a room for more than a month. You can’t imagine! No one gave a dime for my chances until someone bet on me and operated on me with little prospect of success.

I was really amazed, because I had always thought of those things as surreal and impossible to conceive of. The first time, there was a man 100 metres away from my wife’s shop, an herbal shop. He asked me for a place, and I started to give him directions as we all do, gesticulating with my hands, kind of, “You see that wall, turn right, go here and there.” I see my wife at her shop’s door shouting my name: “Antonio, Antonio!” and I answer, “Hold on just a minute, Mari Luz,” and I continue to explain. Then, the man says goodbye, thanks me and goes away. I say to my wife: “Be patient, this man was asking me, he was very kind and I had to explain to him....” And she answers: “What man? You were playing the fool alone in the street.” That was the first time that I contacted someone of that kind, and I started to consider that something important was happening in my mind. From that moment onwards I have contacted those kinds of people thousands of times and I keep doing it practically every day. I don’t think I have any capacities. I think we all have innately in our essence all those types of capacities, not yet developed or just underdeveloped. In my case, their existence was due to what had happened to me.

I can see the day when people next to me are going to go back home. With an embrace, I have been able to see part of their lives. I saw things that I told people, and then those things happened exactly as I had said. Those were the first things that I felt.

I see future information a lot, practically every day. I revealed it to three persons in all my life, and then to prevent people from overwhelming me and insisting on me telling them, I decided not to tell it to anyone else. With one person, my sister, I almost broke our friendship just because I told her that she was going to have a very long life and become an old lady, but she doesn’t like this life, she doesn’t believe in the human being. With a close friend, now deceased, he had to reconsider his whole life. So, I decided that I wouldn’t tell the exact day to anyone else. However, I can see things that may happen in others’ lives and so I can tell people things that they might do, giving them some guidance so that they do what they have to do at that moment, as maybe they don’t know the time they have left to accomplish it. I tell this information very clearly.

Is there a possibility to modify that future in the short, medium or long-term? We actually have a specific moment to start life, that’s for all of us, and a specific moment of departure, also for all of us. And what we call free will is not exactly so, as it is embedded in a programming of experiences and works that we have to experience. But I have learnt that we are co-creators of our own lives, so we can lengthen, put off, bring closer or move away some experiences that we compulsorily have to live. Not the experiences that we choose, but those ones that we compulsorily have to live. So, it’s true that they are modifiable. I have verified that by doing a really thorough work, you can modify some kinds of experiences.

How painful it is for a very young child, not even a teenager, to pass away! A lot of people call me, I receive thousands of calls and you can’t imagine the number of emails. The questions are always the same... In my family it has also happened. I am convinced that every one of us has a life plan, a structure, no matter how painful it seems to us. We do have a programme through which we have to go in order to evolve and progress and be able to become the essence of what we are.

There are beings who we think are very young, and they are really very old souls that have everything done or accomplished, and they are just coming to experience something specific. For us it is hard and difficult, but note that we live with five senses, which are very good, but sometimes we use them along with those other five factors: judgement, attachment, ego, expectations and fear. Fear, for example, paralyses us.

Judging things and events... I have learnt that in my life many things happen... a month ago my mother-in-law passed away. I could tell it to my wife a month and a half before it happened and so we could live together really happily for that month and a half. We could witness her decease, how she got up and many other amazing things for which I feel grateful. At the moment of her passing, we saw a kind of shadow or halo that left her body and stood up. I got really surprised for seeing that in someone so close, because although I knew that everything continues, if you see it in someone that you deeply love, that experience becomes fantastic and amazing. That person, after standing up, was looking and observing everywhere, kind of wondering, “What has happened, where am I?” as if she wasn’t understanding anything. That experience was wonderful, marvelous.

Going back to what we were talking about, we all have our structure of work and we will repeat the things we have left to do and won’t repeat those others already accomplished. That’s why some people die at an old age and others very young. I had a cousin that passed away as an infant and today I know that it had to be that way for some reason that I don’t know but that I don’t even have to understand. If I get my mind into, “I have to understand this,” that’s when suffering comes in. But on the other hand, we are born searchers who need answers, not just leaving it to chance. I keep daily looking for answers which, by the way, still surprise me, but I am certain that we have a structure and a life programme that we have to accomplish, that’s true.

Not only is death a lie. I would label it with so many adjectives... an absurdity, something irrational and unthinkable. Nowadays, I perfectly know that it is false and a lie. I had never read anything before as I wasn’t devoted to any of these things. On the contrary, I was more into science. I loved history, physics and chemistry, and I had nothing to do with these spiritual things. But now I can say that they are so real..., but we sometimes deny the undeniable. Hundreds and hundreds of people into neuroscience, medicine, etc. contact me to tell me that they see such incredible things, and they ask me to explain to them what they are seeing, because they are scared. These things are already commonplace.

I don’t really know what I have. I only know that a lot of things happen to me, I can do and see things that would be unthinkable or unlikely in the past. Now I have a completely different way of life. My wife always says: “Don’t test Antonio, because he pushes things to the limit.” It’s true! I take the fact of not having fears, expectations and judgements to the extreme. And some people say: “And could that attitude be irresponsible?” No! The other way around. It has created in me a tremendous responsibility towards what I experience, because I know that I absolutely have to make the most of my life in order to obtain the lesson that I need.

I even do this with my 12-year-old daughter. We stop at the pedestrian crossings and I tell her: “Look, do you see that in red? We are not going to spoil the day to these people in their cars, so let’s wait for it to turn green because if they knock us down, they are going to have a bad day, there will be problems, etc.” All that I have experienced has created in me a responsibility that I live fully, and I enjoy every moment, I assure you, as if it were the last one in my life. I think that if everybody did that and didn’t look further ahead, they would have a long, fruitful, happy and marvelous life.

Why get into strange affairs about judging others? That is living others’ lives, and I have learnt through my experience that I have to live and share my own life, so others can see how you live in case it is useful for them. I steal, as I say, fears, expectations, uncertainties..., and then everyone continues with their lives. And this is all about the best way of enjoying what we have to live. Death is a sure thing in life and do you think it can be bad? No! Everything that life brings is beautiful, so that can’t be bad either.

There are some things that have gradually developed and which I check to make sure that they are real. Now we are helping many, many people in the transition moment, helping them to open up so they can even contact beings that are already on the other side. I’ve seen that that capacity, which is not exactly a capacity as it is something innate in every human and which has developed in me for some reason, can make some people open to some perceptions, which if they develop them, they can get to see persons from the other side and receive a lot of information. In fact, a friend from Madrid who worked with Reiki (I don’t know what Reiki is; I just know that they impose hands), told me that she sensed them, etc. But now she writes to me every day saying that she is amazed because she sees this or that being, etc. However, I keep asking her: “Is it real? Do you see them clearly?” and she says, “Yes, Antonio, it is the same that you explain and do,” etc.

I am no longer in the skeptical questioning habit but I keep analysing and corroborating everything. I have formed a team with people that have altruistically wanted to join efforts, well, a group of friends that follow what I do, rather than a team. We help people, trying to give them energy if they have maybe lost it, we reassure and give strength to people who are suffering very serious diseases, and we especially help in the communication with beings that have departed, something that we do every day.

The first thing you see in the dying person is that he or she has lost the enthusiasm, the motivation. He says, “I don’t have anything else to look for or find,” despite all the things I believe that we can look for and find here! He doesn’t care about practically anything, and you see him so spiritless that you get the impression that he doesn’t want to know or care about anything. He finds no value in anything and, above all, at this stage, people don’t love or esteem themselves, which is fundamental. (To love ourselves such as we are is the most important thing that we’ve been given, as we are in a vehicle which is not ours but borrowed, and we have to care for it because we have to return it. We are not all taking care of it. Mine is wrecked because of stress.) But then something happens that makes me know for sure that the process is happening, and it is because the person who is by his side, that ‘invisible’ being for many, tells me about it. I have the possibility of interacting with these beings and then I always ask and they tell me. The energy that surrounds the person is totally dim. It is very noticeable that that person is not going to continue. And the guide by his side always tells me a date, a moment. And I have learnt that when these people speak (I call them people because it is what they are, they are persons, beings), they are never wrong. We can all be mistaken, because we are all in a plane where we can easily be wrong, although it is good and legitimate; but these people are never wrong. For seven years, every time they have told me about that, it has always happened, there hasn’t been any mistake.

In fact, in a course in Madrid with a very good friend of mine, with nearly 800 people, where I could participate as a lecturer for some minutes, there was a person that had touched me because he knew me and, at that moment, I saw that he was not going to leave the course. I shared this with some people. And so it was, he didn’t leave. But I am going to reassure you a bit, as you wondered before whether it is modifiable or not. When that person fell to the floor, many people rushed to help that person; they were already cautious for what I had said and they were sitting next to him, some of them doctors. They were doing so many things on him, that his immediate transition was modified and an ambulance could take him to hospital and on the following day he was back to the course, amazing as it seems.

Why are we constantly into fear when fear doesn’t really exist? Well, it’s very simple. I am absolutely convinced that there are a lot of interests around that. We are not going to get deeply into that because we would have to talk about so many things! But from ancient times there has been an intention to control us through many different ways for something’s or someone’s interest. Along history, we have been programmed, especially to feel mistrust. “Don’t trust, be careful, this or that can be dangerous...” And in our way of life a programme was installed so as not to allow the human being to release what he really is, his true essence, and to make him stay into fear so as to be controlled. But I also know that there is a kind of dark side in this world who also has an interest into that. For me, the person, Jesus of Nazareth, in whom I used to believe only in his historical aspect, as I have never conceived the history of humankind without the presence of Jesus of Nazareth. But today I know that He is something completely different. For me He is not just a symbol but a flag to follow. Remember that He once said that we could do greater things than He did. So, why not reassume our true essence? Why not connect with our true master? Why search for God outside ourselves? Why search for masters outside ourselves? Why follow others if all the people who are doing the same as I do are just reminding others, even though the world thinks that we ourselves have forgotten how long ago?

According to my experience, there is nobody or nothing that may hurt you or hurt us. In my talks I usually say, “In the mornings or at night I sit on a chair and say, ‘Good morning, Antonio, how are you?’ Then I change to the other side and say, ‘Well, I am feeling pretty well, and you?’ I change again and say, ‘Today I feel like ruining your day.’ I change and say, ‘Why? Can’t we reach an agreement?’ Finally, I reach an agreement with myself. Why? Very simple. I am reaching an agreement with the only person that can truly hurt me and ruin my day. And with that agreement, everything is going to work well.

Young child dies from pills, meets a being, and returns to feel trapped

When I was 3, I ingested 30 Seconals that had been prescribed for my mom during her divorce. Our housekeeper, Lula, came to wake me from my daily nap, and found that I had vomited pink liquid all over my pillow and could not be woken. I was taken to Baptist Hospital, a few miles from where we lived in Knoxville, TN. There, they pumped my stomach, but could not paddle shock or adrenalize me because of my age. My heart had stopped before we left my home. Some ER physician finally thought to cut down my ankles and mainline me with pure caffeine. It took a number of hours, however, for that to revive me.

In the interim, I was suddenly in a very white light place. All that was there was a very large being with long white caftan-like clothing, with a gold sash around the waist. There was a seat that looked like a wide bench, not throne, that was gold also. I felt that I was standing, looking at this being suddenly. I was very happy to be there - elated. There was an immediate pronouncement by this being (who was immensely kind) that I could not stay where I was and would have to go back to live out my life on the other side. I was enormously upset by this. I argued my case, tried to bargain, begged, any and everything I could do - but the answer was the same - you must return to live out your life.

This being seemed larger than a human man, had white hair and larger eyes than humans have. The eyes were animated in a very strange way - like grandfather clock eyes on Captain Kangaroo's shows. He was sitting on the bench when I first arrived, but then stood to talk with me. He emanated a love that I find impossible to describe in words. I felt that I had to be with him. My sense of time wasn't there. I don't remember going there or coming back.

But when I was at home again, I didn't want to be there. We had woods in back of our house. Every day for months I would take my collie dog, Brutus, into the woods with me and, lying down on the pine straw-covered forest bed, I would pray to God to take me back up into heaven and allow Brutus to come with me. This went on for months. I felt discontented to be where I was - sort of like being in jail or constrained. I felt a sort of depression.

Many years later, a psychic who was a friend of mine just blurted out that my sister had fed me pills when I was small, that had ended up killing me. That made perfect sense to me because Ann, my sister, had tried to kill me many times during my childhood. I had always wondered how I had gotten hold of my mother's prescription bottle of Seconals at age 3.

I have always felt confined in this life, like I need to get out of here. I can hardly wait to be reunited with heaven and God.

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