By Anonymous on Tuesday, April 6, 2004 - 07:45 pm:
My experience was not a personal near death experience, But I did experience the death of My Grandma. Here is how the experience went.
I was helping my neighbors fix some things in their apartment when I suddenly felt totally spaced out and tired. I told my neighbor that I needed to go lay down for a while. I returned to my own apartment and laid down on the bed. I almost immediately went into a state where I was not asleep and not awake. I started reaching out with my hand and grasping at the air. (Strangely I knew that it was not me that was in danger. ) I could feel the chest getting heavier and heavier. All of the sudden I was looking at a strange room through someone else’s eyes. I looked around the room and saw my aunt standing next to the bed that I was lying on. She was holding my hand. I could feel a tremendous bond between these two people that seemed to transcend all time. It was literally an unbreakable bond. I could feel energy go up my arm into my aunt’s body and come back down into my body. At that point in time, the view faded out as though someone did a fade out at the end of a movie. All of a sudden we were at an aerial tram setup, that went into a park and then up into the mountains. I do not know where. But there was a problem with the tram. There was a tremendous urgency to fix the tram. I did some repairs on the tram and the people got on the tram and the tram went off into the distance. As the tram left, the scene faded out again as though the camera were doing a fadeout at the end of a movie. I suddenly had the sensation of being pulled backwards and then falling. The fall seemed to last about 20 seconds. I slammed back into my body and I could feel the bed go down from the impact. I woke up at that time, and the first thought I thought was “that crap is finally over.” I felt really good and had a real feeling of accomplishment. I walked out into the kitchen and there was a message on my answering machine from my dad that that my grandma had died. I suddenly had a vision of my aunt again, and a really big feeling of grief and remorse, and a feeling that a tremendous loss had occurred. I honestly think I was feeling my aunt’s feelings at the time. There were feelings associated with this event that cannot be described. I have thought about it a lot since then and it has had a major impact on my life. I talked to my mom a short time later about this and this is what she told me.
FACTS IN THE SITUATION
1. My grandma died of congestive heart failure
2. My aunt was holding my grandma’s hand when she died.
3. My grandma opened her eyes and looked at my aunt before she died.
4. I was asked by my mom how I knew all this information. I told her the story and all that I had seen and her jaw about hit the floor
I do not know why I was brought in to witness this but I felt there was a definite purpose to my being there. I think I was part of the bond between my Grandma and aunt. I had a feeling that we had been through a lot together. I feel it was necessary for me to be there for my Grandma to move on. And I will see my Grandma again when this life is over.
Anyway that is my experience. Although it was not exactly a personal NDE It was a rather unique and personal experience.
By Anonymous on Tuesday, April 6, 2004 - 07:40 pm:
I was taken to the hospital because I could barely breathe. When I got to the hospital, the nurses and doctors were trying to ask me what was wrong. So I tried to answer, but as I tried to tell them I could barely breathe, all the breath I had just seemed to blow right out of me like a gust of wind. I couldn't breathe in. So I remember pretending that I was at swimming lessons when I was little when I was able to hold my breath the longest. Then all of a sudden I saw all my (deceased) family members come towards me (in hospital beds... like the one I was in...) they were all surrounding me. Then my (deceased) father's face was right in front of me (he died when I was 10 of a heart attack). There seemed to be a white light or substance surrounding his face. He was just looking right into me. Then a yellow light or substance started coming downward towards my dad's face (which I seemed to 'know' was my (recently deceased) twin brother). Then all of a sudden, I seemed to be 'awake' and wondering what was over my shoulder. It was my fiancée crying, telling me 'Don't go! Don’t go.” Then I was fine. Then the doctor checked me out, said I was fine, and could go home. So I don't really know what happened. Apparently, I was there for 6 hours, but I only thought I was there for 15 minutes? No one (any deceased family members) ever 'said' anything to me... But it seemed like they were saying that I wasn't suppose to go.
So I don't know if this was a NDE or not but my life seems to be totally different. I just go with the flow now; whereas before, I was so scared (I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). I am not even worried about the future anymore (and I don't even have any immediate family members who are alive except one brother who I don't see because he is in hiding from the bad things he's done).
By Anonymous on Thursday, April 1, 2004 - 08:50 pm:
This is the first chapter of a manuscript I'm working on. It may be a little long for your needs, but I hope that it is helpful to you. But please keep in mind that I do intend to publish this in a book soon.
A Walk in Time
I was in Concord, California staying with an aunt. On March seventeen, nineteen eighty-seven, I awoke early to a thunderous single beat of my heart and a fast, deep gasp of air. My eyes flew open to the pain in my chest, as I realized that I hadn't been breathing for quite some time. Fear shot through me as it never had before, along with the realization that I was alive. Alive was the only word in my mind. My body felt only fragmentarily connected to the rest of me. It was unbearably heavy with a loss of control uncharacteristic to me. My once comfortable body was now strangely foreign, responding to my commands only with great effort as I stumbled my way into the living room.
I sat staring into space, attempting to steady my hands and control my erratic breathing. I coughed, sensing that I couldn't speak. No matter how I tried, I couldn't make a single sound. I would later learn that this symptom meant that I had been dead for about twenty minutes. I managed to light the first of an endless series of cigarettes, undoubtedly one of the most important things to do after a major heart attack.
I was grateful the baby was still asleep and my aunt had already left for work for the day, as I began reliving in vibrant mental and emotional detail what had happened and where I'd been.
I'd gone to bed the night before as usual, with no strenuous exercise during the day. Nothing at all was out of the ordinary. I'd gone shopping, made dinner, and watched television after putting my nine and a half month old daughter down for the night.
I slept soundly, until the early morning hours when I suddenly seemed to awaken in a dark, cloud-like haze. A brilliant and comforting light shone through the clouds beyond. I was alone and knew immediately without a single doubt that I had died. I couldn't remember what had happened, how old I was or a single detail about my life at all. I did know that somehow I hadn't completed my life and that it had ended violently. I wondered, as I began to cry, if all dead people had trouble remembering.
Somehow, I also knew that I would be met by someone who would help me and send me on my way to eternity. As I thought that a figure appeared at my left. She was short and kind, with a large head. She seemed somehow familiar, but I didn't recognize her. She confirmed, telepathically, that I had indeed died. She said, "You may have whatever you wish by imagining having it, be wherever you wish by imagining being there.”
My first thought was of how I'd come to be a spirit. Instantly, I was transported into the past to witness my death. Time suddenly had no meaning at all. My guide remained at my left side, holding my hand, answering my questions and comforting me. I saw myself arrive home to a small townhouse. I knew I was coming in from work to pick something up before rushing out to pick up the kids. As I reached the front door to leave, a neighbor I scarcely knew knocked, and then forced his way in. I watched helplessly as he raped and murdered my body.
I covered my face with my hands, as my spirit rose to leave. Mourning for the new baby I would never give birth to and hold, I saw my murderer run away. I also saw the police arrive, and I followed the detective until he caught the man. Eventually, I went to my own wake. As I stared down at my body in the light blue and white casket, I remembered they had been my favorite colors. I suddenly understood that they had been theme colors for a lifetime of emotions to be experienced and expressed.
Around me were friends and relatives. I could hear what they were thinking and feel their grief as clearly as I thought my own thoughts and felt my own emotions. I was stunned to realize how very much I'd been loved. I began to cry again because I couldn't let them know that I had loved them all just as much back. I reached to touch the face which could no longer show my tears. I no longer had cheeks to wipe or a nose to blow. I cried harder. I wondered who would raise my children. I would never write the books I'd so wanted to write. My poems would never see the light of day.
I realized for the very first time that during the course of my life, survival had gotten in the way of what I'd wanted to do, in the way of what I now realized I'd come into life to accomplish. My feelings of devastation were beyond any I had known during life. I couldn't change it now, I knew that I'd have to go through the birth process again because of it. There were two people at my wake whose acts towards me I'd been unable to forgive in life. I was still angry with them and will always remember the hate I felt. I'll not soon forget the love coming from their hearts for me either. My husband and children arrived. I hadn't known marriage could be so right before we'd met, so peaceful and happy. It had ended much too soon. He lifted each child to kiss me good-bye, Janna, Jamie, and little Corey, just three years old. Corey could see and hear me still. I spoke with him about being brave and not forgetting me.
I thought of my eldest son, Chet, who was with his father. I was with him immediately, watching as he received the news, unable to comfort and hold him. He went into his bedroom and I watched as he committed suicide. "Would you like to see what would have happened had you written and published?" my guide asked. I nodded. I was far above the earth after sunset. The colors were a magnificent sight, and I'll always remember them. All across the globe, little sparks of light flickered like the flames of candles burning. I saw time pass into decades and beyond. ”They are the flickering hearts of those you would have touched," my guide explained.
As the scene ended another began. I saw myself in a large, beautiful house in the country in Mill Valley, California. I was working at a computer, as the children came and went from the large family room I'd made into my office as well. Gone was the small townhouse and crowded neighborhood in which I'd lived and died only moments before. There was so much peace in that house, so much happiness and laughter. I somehow knew that doing what I'd been born to do had produced so much harmony. This house and the events taking place there haunted me for months afterward. It was as though the house and the people there wanted to re-enforce the messages they had given me. How I wished I could do it all again, live again, breathe, hug and kiss my children again. Even as my very soul grieved, I knew it could never be. My guide carefully placed a spirit hand on my shoulder. ”You can," she said. With all the force of a massive collision, I was in my body again and awake. I have never been more grateful for the simple act of waking up.
I had had a heart attack just a month before my thirty second birthday. I was terrified at the prospect. I'd just found the reality in my life, just discovered as much of normality as I thought I ever might. I knew I was out of shape because of the baby and the Hepatitis B. I hadn't known at the time that I'd had mononucleosis and CMV too. Still, I'd been out of shape before, and nothing had ever happened to me. It didn't seem possible that I'd aged so much in the seven short years since my last child. Going to the hospital entered my mind, but I couldn't have spoken to anyone. I didn't know at the time that being incapable of talking, I could have just dialed 911, and waited for a response, or I would have. When I could speak, I didn't know what to say. I thought about admitting to having just had the most dramatic out-of-body experience I'd ever heard of, but didn't think I would be believed. I didn't know what to do.
I grabbed a notebook and my favorite pen. I spent the next several days in almost nonstop writing. In retrospect, I realized that my oldest son had been fourteen years old at the time of my death. That meant the date had to have been at least August of nineteen ninety-two. It was March of nineteen eighty-seven. I'd never heard of Mill Valley, California before. I finally found it on a map. It really did exist, and I've been told, is considered the New Age capital of the West Coast. There were people at the wake I didn't know. Since that time, I have met them. Jamie and Corey have not been born and won't be. I would eventually understand that they had been symbols for events to take place in my life. The name Corey means the same thing in Gaelic that my real first name means in Cherokee, which is Little Stream. Corey was symbolic for finding myself. I had transcended time within transcending time. It was a view of my tomorrow with options. I'd seen where I was going and was given the opportunity to change the course to a better one. After writing it all down, the messages were startlingly clear. I had some choices to make.
I ended my search for a job. This book had begun. I let the baby-sitter go. The family clans went into an uproar. They have all gotten over it. I started going back to college. I am writing now, and though things do get in the way at times, I don't let them be permanent distractions. I had faced my fears of death and conquered them. I understood that I'd feared death because I'd feared a lack of completion in my life. I won't let that happen now, so there is no fear. I also know that there is no real death, no lack of conscious awareness afterwards. I'd still been the person I had always been. I didn't just end. I'd still had the same thoughts and emotions I'd always had. I was still me. I didn't know where so much had come from. I wondered if God did sometimes intervene in our lives. I wondered if death was really like that, imagining and having, mental and emotional telepathy. I worried about my son Chet. I thought a long time about my deceased mother. I wondered where she was and what she was learning. I wondered if she had company and what her life was like now. Most of my questions would eventually be answered, but it would take a while. Next came the elephants. My guides would later torment me for months about them, as well as my refusal to write seriously about them.
By Anonymous on Thursday, April 1, 2004 - 08:48 pm:
It was after my son had been taken out of me and they were sewing me back up. I felt it was getting very hard to breath, and I really needed to fight to say in control. I then noticed I was flying away from my husband. I was going side ways away from him, like down a tunnel but on my side. The distance between us was getting greater. I could see my son, and then I heard a male/female voice say it was time to go home. I felt very angry (my husband and I had lost 3 babies via miscarriage) and our son had just come into this world. I was in no way ready to leave my family as they needed me and I wasn't ready to move on. I told the voice to forget it, I was not ready and that was that. The anesthetist told me I was very brave, and he seemed to know how close I had been to going out. I later found out I had lost a large amount of blood so much the floor was covered. I saw the shocked looks on the theater nurses faces as they looked at the blood all over the floor. I nearly had a stroke a few days later. I was too ill to breast feed though I tried to do so for four days. It took a long time for me to reconnect to my world. I knew I was given this chance because I was so sure I had things still to do. My dad did not come for me, so I knew I could stay, and so I did. Dad’s got a really strong sense of time, and he would have been there on the other side if I had been due in. I guess they were just testing my resolve and found I had a lot of miles left in me yet.
By Anonymous on Thursday, April 1, 2004 - 08:47 pm:
I had had an illegal abortion, crudely performed. Afterwards, I became infected from my head to my feet. I was in excruciating pain. My friend decided to take me to the emergency room. There was a wild thunderstorm, I remember. I could not get my shoes on; I nearly passed out. My friend helped me and got me into the car. I remember we came to a railroad crossing, with a train going by. We had to stop and wait. I was in the back seat, barely able to withstand the pain. Then suddenly I knew I was dying. Time seemed insignificant, I don't remember at what point it happened. I think we were still waiting for the train to pass. All of a sudden, I felt myself lifted out of my body. I did not look down at myself, in fact, I don't remember looking anywhere. But the feeling was as though I was being taken into the arms of God, a concept I had never considered. Every sorrow, all grief, heartbreak, disappointment, loss, resentment, was gone. It was simply handled, period. I then felt the most unbelievable love, mercy and peace that I could ever imagine. In fact, one can't imagine it; it simply doesn't exist on this plane of consciousness! There are no words to describe it, and so I just have to "know" it. It was the greatest gift I have ever known.
By Anonymous on Thursday, April 1, 2004 - 08:46 pm:
During a 4th of July party, a friend of mine inserted a large firecracker into an empty beer can and threw it at my feet. I heard it hit the ground and looked down at it just as it went off. The explosion was like a hand grenade. A large piece of the can penetrated my skull through my nose and into my right eye, which was severed in two. I was instantly blinded and started bleeding severely. My friends rushed me to a clinic, but they were not equipped to handle as severe a wound as I had. I was taken to a large hospital, I do not know how. I was left laying on a gurney until a proper ophthalmologist could be contacted. I remember a large pressure bandage being placed over the right side of my head. There was severe pain.
My next sight was of me laying on the gurney, only I was 30 to 40 feet above looking down. My thoughts were 'why doesn't someone help this poor guy?' I then noticed that it was me. I felt a very cool breeze on my back, like standing in front of an air conditioner on a hot day. I turned to see what it was and it was a hole in a black background, a very bright white hole, about a foot in diameter. It was so bright, but it didn't hurt my eyes, like one would shield themselves from looking at the sun. It was many times brighter than the sun, but it was relaxing. I looked back at me and I was growing farther away, and the hole was getting bigger. Now I noticed the cool pleasantness of the light. There was no pain. There was no noise. I was very curious and approached the light, which was all around me by now. I knew I was not going back to the hell of life; it was too beautiful where I was. The cool breeze blew in my face and I felt it all through my body. I had no sense of restrictions. There was no need of anything. I was also very hungry and drunk at the time, but I had no sense of either symptom. I was fully prepared to enter the light, but took one last look back at the pitiful wretch that was me. Suddenly, I saw a nurse come to my face; she drew her hand back and slapped me as hard as she could. I was immediately back into my body, in pain, bleeding, half blind, hungry and drunk. I curse her to this day. She thought she was saving a life, but she was simply prolonging what I look forward to, that I know will come.
I have heard other 'tales' of experiences, some of which are utter fallacy, but I know what I had seen, and I tell you that I saw the nurse hit me. I can describe what she wore and her funny little hat, and I saw her hit me WITH BOTH EYES! She later came to my room and told me what she did, and she looked at me like I was crazy when I told her I saw her do it. I have no fear of death, and neither should anyone else. In daily life, I know things that are going to happen, but only after they have happened. I guess you could say that I am clairvoyant, but it is not important to me. Death is not the last action for humanity.
By Anonymous on Thursday, April 1, 2004 - 08:45 pm:
I had gone to a state park with my grandmother and family friends. This was my first time to be in the water as my mother had a fear of the water. And since my mother wasn't around, I got to play a lot. I did not know at the time there was a wall separating two different areas of depth. But the wall looked very inviting to me to jump off of. I jumped into the deep side and wondered why I was able to stay down so long. I remember thinking this was really a wonderful feeling being in this wonderful place. I remember it being warm, loving, and very, very pleasant. Just about the time I was really enjoying the feeling, our friend Helen pulled me out and scolded me for jumping in and being under so long. At the time I did not realize what had happened. I just remembered how wonderful it was being there and not wanting to leave. It was not too long after that, that I started hearing voices in my head advising me what to do and what not to do. It seemed to be instruction. Also, I remember seeing auras. Of course, at the time I did not know what any of this was. It was just things that I saw and heard. Also, I seemed to be very aware of people's feelings. I became quite introverted and lonely. I did not learn what any of this meant until I started putting things together while reading "Full Circle" by Barbara Harris. I still have intuitive encounters and other psychic things happen to me. I can supply them if you want them. At any rate, I think this is probably what happened to me at 5 yrs old, and I just now was able to put a name on it.
By Anonymous on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 10:31 pm:
In 1987, my sister (one year younger than I) died of breast cancer after two years with the disease. In 1990, I discovered a lump in my left breast, and after a visit to my GP, I was to have a mammogram and ultrasound. In light of my sister’s recent death, I was obviously very concerned about my own health. That night I went to bed as usual when suddenly there was a "being" standing(?) beside me and the impression I got was that I had been "told" I was being taken to see my sister. We "walked" upwards through a "tunnel" not particularly dark as in black, but dark bluish, I was very aware of the "being" (my maternal grandmother came to my mind but I can't be sure) "walking" with me and felt quite comfortable with them, but I couldn't see the "being.” Suddenly we were through the "tunnel" and entered a brightly lit (sunny?) paved courtyard bordered by a low brick retaining wall beyond which was beautiful lawn on which "walked" other "beings". To the left was another low brick wall and the impression of a fence just beyond it. On that wall sat some "beings" (impression) and my sister, who had her head bent over some hand sewing she was doing. I have to say that my sister was never one to sit and sew. As we drew close to her she looked up at me and said, "go back, it's not your time yet!” I sensed some frustration in her voice, which was exactly how she would have reacted. Immediately I was back, awake and in my bed. I continue to be in awe of my experience, which I know without doubt was not a dream, despite having people try to convince me otherwise, not by my family however.
By Anonymous on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 10:30 pm:
I was riding an off-road vehicle, and I suddenly found that I had taken a wrong turn and was going off the edge of a cliff. I thought I was surely going to die as I was flung over the handlebars and into a mid-air summersault. As I was spinning around, I found myself looking up and the four-wheeler I was riding on was coming down right on top of me. If I survived the fall, this thing was going to finish me by crashing down over me. It was then as if time stopped and went into freeze-frame. I suddenly realized I could do something and divert the trajectories of myself and the vehicle. I don't know how in a fraction of a second I could have become so clear and be able to act to change the outcome. I raised my right arm and gave a mighty push to the four-wheeler and sent myself spinning to the left, as I was still in that forward summersault. A moment after I impacted the ground, I was wondering if I was just dreaming I had survived. I had to pinch myself. Within a short time, a tremendous pain in my shoulder convinced me I indeed survived. My left shoulder was shattered, but I had survived. I could never understand why time seemed to stop and how I could have reacted that fast. It was as if everything else slowed down, or that I was somehow speeded up and thus everything else seemed slow. It was just enough time to avert almost certain disaster. The project I started four years later after a similar experience is now a butterfly peace and healing initiative spreading around the world. I guess I'm still here because I had something to do. What is really amazing is that the butterfly is often associated with this kind of experience [ref Judy Guggenheim, who wrote Hello from Heaven]. Welcome to the magical world of butterflies and serendipity. May Peace Prevail on Earth!
By Anonymous on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 10:19 pm:
I was reading some entries on an associated website and was struck by the similarity between those and this entry from my diary reproduced verbatim. To set the context, I was seriously depressed and suffering from emotional pain I couldn't stand much longer. I wasn't really inspired to record my thoughts and feelings - but felt this experience was meant to teach me something. I wanted to record it whilst still fresh so that I could refer back and make sense of it.
3 Jan 1999: Last night I was reading (a book from a friend who was also undergoing an extremely distressing time) and decided to ask for guidance. I saw a deep crimson velvet heart like a box. When opened, there was a flame inside. I couldn't quite get an answer and fell asleep still struggling to understand. I had an epic dream which seemed to last for hours. When I was still awake, I first saw a girl with a sneer and hard eyes, and long blonde hair. I asked for "someone benevolent.” In my dream, I was guided by a woman with brown hair. I saw her in two or three places, but she always had the same eyes and that's how I knew it was still her. The first parts of the dream were very deep. I know I was asking questions and was receiving guidance, and I think I was satisfied - or even cheered - by these responses, but I have no idea now what I learned. I wish I knew. Then a more lucid bit came when this woman said, “You can still set yourself free, if you believe, you only have to ask.” She carried on speaking and I interrupted her because I sensed I was running out of time: "Who do I ask?" In the meantime, this woman was saying, "This drinking - it's an attack on your feminine side.” And in response to my question, she said, "Well, that's the ironic thing - it's you who's doing this to yourself - you ask yourself.”
I think possibly before that I had a strong sense that I wasn't going to make it back from this journey, and I started to pray. I remember making the sign of the cross and saying I loved (something) and saying "give my love to God.” This woman gave me a sidelong look and I knew she was thinking, "You know you don't mean "God"", and I reminded myself: the universe is God. I continued (dark, misty) away (from life?) and prayed so hard that this wouldn't hurt my loved ones too much. I prayed that they knew how much I loved them, and for their protection. I realized that just because I was passing over to the other side, it didn't help me to understand what happens there. I asked that my loved ones could know that I was missing them just as they were missing me, even though I'd gone over. I prayed, "I don't know how, but I pray to God that one day we will all be reunited.” I passed on and saw there were others there. In a lighter (still misty) patch, I saw school children and especially noticed a teenage girl and boy. I wondered if they were those who had died of meningitis after Christmas. I carried on to a darker misty place, as if passing over a city at night - it was cold - and towards a light, like a lit doorway. I felt this was a challenge to me to test my will to come back. (It was very welcoming and felt safe and warm and loving - but it also felt wrong of me to go there.) I seemed to make it because I found myself back at the entrance to the place I'd been before, in a queue (how English) which led up a winding staircase in a well-lit building. I saw her again and seized the opportunity to ask her more questions. On the landing, where we were set to go in different directions, I hurriedly asked her if this meant I was to live. She hesitated and said, "yes... but we may be called back here again in about a month...” I thought, "But I don't want to die in a month! I want to live until I'm old!” She continued, ” … but there is a possibility that might be extended until...” (an idea of 80+ years of age entered my head). As she left, I thought, "but I'm not an angel - I'm a person!” Then I wondered as I awoke if she was too, and had just come to guide and heal me, and if I would go back just to do the same, not to leave this life. I wish I knew what I had learned.
By Anonymous on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 10:18 pm:
I had a massive heart attack. Fortunately, I was at the emergency room. I felt no pain; I just slipped away. The next thing I knew I was in a large room, like old photos of inside Ellis Island. There were no windows on the ground floor but there was much light from the windows above. The entire hall was filled with tables like a school cafeteria, and they all had lights hanging above them. I was dressed for work and went to my table. Although there were no directions, I knew exactly where I was going and I sensed that I belonged there. I was not afraid. I only remember a tremendous peace and somehow I felt as though I belonged. I never thought about my family or anything, it was all about me. The next thing I remember were many voices calling me, and I awoke as they carted me to the cath lab. I’ve had two open heart surgeries since; the last one I almost didn’t make it through. After seven days of no sleep, I slipped into sleep deprivation psychosis. My blood pressure dropped and I was being kept alive by a computer. That night I could no longer fight, and I gave my life to God and resigned myself to die. I could hear the prayers of people praying for me and I fell asleep. I awoke the next morning and I felt warmth cover me from head to toe. A voice told me I was not through. That day I pulled through, and two days later I was in a private room and walking down the hall.
By Anonymous on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 10:17 pm:
I was 13 years old. I don’t know if I died or not. I had double pneumonia. I guess I passed out because I couldn’t breathe. The next thing I knew, I was floating above my body. I had hands and feet and could see and hear every thing going on in my bed below. I could hear them saying he is too young to have passed away. I kept trying to tell them that I was not dead. They could not hear me. I began to see a light coming towards me. I could feel a love present as the light got larger, and a warmth of great compassion inside the light. There was a figure inside the light that talked to me without using words and said, "You have to go back you have something you must do.” When I was there, I was thinking this must be Jesus. I asked him a lot of question about where is heaven. He showed me what I will be doing in heaven. He told me that, and answered a lot of other question. I don’t know who you are at the other end of this computer. You will never know that love in this life. He is a wonderfully brother to us, and we have wonderful things to do when you or I go back to that light to stay. This he also told me: the work that I have done for the last 15 years is me trying to express some of the love that our brother has for us to those in need. But believe me I could not express that love in 10 life-times of work.
Sorry I don’t spell that well, I so want to get into what he told me at this time. But it [was] wonderful for you and I both.
[a child of the light]
By Anonymous on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 10:16 pm:
I would like to get as much information as I can about this if I could. I don't know if this is a near death experience or not. Here is my story. In 1999 I was in the hospital. At 8:15 p.m. I quit breathing. My wife told me that by the time the doctors worked on me and let her back in the room to see me it was 9:00 p.m. The only thing I remember is that I thought that I was in some sort of waiting area and I was having a very INTENSE argument with a black clergy man. He said - "J, God is with you now - it is time to go." I told him that I could not go because my granddaughter needs me right now and would not understand. The more we argued the more intense it got until I heard my wife’s voice calling me and I woke up.
By Anonymous on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 10:07 pm:
In 1985, I had been feeling extremely tired for months, when I had some dental work done. The dentist decided to put me in the hospital to cut out some wisdom teeth, as I had Raynaud’s disease. Upon admission to the hospital, a pre-op was done, which included a chest x-ray. They later came in and told me that my heart was appearing double its size in the x-ray. They later decided that I had fluid around the heart, which made it appear so. Within the next 10 days, they went in to my heart-lining with a needle and would withdraw the fluid. Within 2 to 3 days it would build up again. Each time it would be from 560 to 650cc's of fluid. They finally decided to go in and operate, to take out part of the heart lining, so the fluid could not build up, as they could not find out why it was doing this.
They took me into surgery and administered the anesthetic and I sank down into oblivion. All of a sudden, I heard a nurse say, "Doctor, her pressure is dropping.” She said this three times and by the third time, her voice was sounding panicky. It was at this point that I realized I could hear exceptionally clear. I cannot describe the clarity of my hearing. I could have heard a pin drop. I felt as though I had been fighting a difficult battle and I just gave up. I gave into an over-whelming feeling of defeat. It was at this point that I heard a voice say, "you are judging yourself much too harshly.” A feeling of complete, total relaxation came over me. It was as if I had the weight of the world on my shoulders and it had been removed with that one sentence. I knew that I had been unconditionally forgiven for any wrongs I felt I had done throughout my life. I felt myself starting into a total darkness, but I was not afraid. I started moving along in this black tunnel, when all of a sudden I was brought back to the harsh lights in the recovery room. The pain in my chest was intense. Both sides of my ribs hurt and I felt as though I had a hot iron on the inside of my chest. When I totally awoke, I also found a V-shaped mark in the center of my chest. I was in the ICU 10 days after that.
I felt as if I had been going to my true home and was forced back here. I did not want to come back. The peacefulness and serenity I had felt, I cannot even begin to describe in mere words. I wish I could say that this changed me into a much better person, but after returning home, I totally turned the opposite of what I was. My marriage almost ended. I went from a shy-retiring person to a party type. I felt for a long time that I was just visiting here on earth, and I really wanted to return to my true home. It took a few years before I finally returned back to my normal self. During that time though, I had hurt many of my loved ones with my actions. I am now no longer fearful of death, for I know that it is just the closing of one door and the opening of another.
By Anonymous on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 10:06 pm:
I came across your website and thought that perhaps you might be interested in my experience below. I am not sure as to whether this counts as a NDE, as there seems only a few of the common incidents. This is probably far too verbose but if the contents are of interest, please feel free to edit my notes. Equally, I am unsure whether biographical information is required. I append some details if needed. My name is B and at the time was 62 years old. I have a somewhat elderly and very ordinary physics qualification (1960), and spent the first 15 years in research laboratories doing research into communication in the presence of noise. I was persuaded to leave research and apply my experience into the design and management of large communication systems. Over the next 15 years, I designed and installed a variety of networks both international and national. In 1990, I took a profitable early retirement and formed my own company carrying on the same work.
In 1997, my life style (too much eating, drinking, smoking and working) caught up me and my heart called it a day, obliging me to close my company and give up work. I have yet to establish a satisfactory explanation for some experiences I had during 1997 (and I refer to notes that I made in as soon as I was able to type). I suffered a series of heart attacks and was admitted to the intensive care unit of my local hospital. After about a week, I became much worse and was transferred to another hospital where I underwent emergency heart surgery and had a quadruple bypass.
Two days after the operation everything started to go wrong, and in fact, I was unconscious under full life support for an extra 8 weeks. I knew nothing of this until I woke at the in a completely terrified state (which apparently is not unusual). I had no idea where I was or what was real, having had the rather unpleasant and very vivid dreams as described below. (These dreams are still as vivid today as when I woke.)
Principal Dream Episodes: Much of the dream (or dreams) are now unclear. In particular, the order of episodes is confused. However, a number of distinct phases can still be remembered. I dreamt that I was due for a major operation and was already in a motorized wheel chair and was in a hospital. I decided that I would have a last night of freedom and somehow left the hospital, still in the motorized wheelchair. The next thing I remember is returning to a hospital, which I knew, and also I knew it was a different hospital to the one I had left. The staff in this hospital seemed more amused than angry at my sudden appearance and decided to test me for pregnancy. I dreamt that I was in bed in the hospital and in a tower block. To my horror all the staff, when they thought they were unobserved, turned into little silver entities with round featureless heads. They were busy carrying other silver spheres, which I somehow knew to be patients who had died. I managed to get up to the top of the tower to try to defeat these aliens. I decided that a photoflash would kill them. A program of flashing at everybody in the UK was set up under my direction.
It now gets very confused, as if several dreams were occurring together. In my dream I knew that I was in intensive care (I did not know where nor did I know why I was there). I was in a high bed and my family was around me. My eldest daughter was there and was herself. My wife was there and was unchanged. My youngest daughter was there but her name was Miriam, and she was some sort of priestess (pagan) dressed in a long back robe, and had an emblem, an inverted crescent moon, round her neck. She was married to an Asian from America who was also some kind of priest. My son was not there at first, but I knew that he was a priest (Christian) and married with a large number of children. He was also associated with a pop group, which had a major hit. The record started off with a religious chant (which I loved) and then went into a dreadful pop stuff. Everybody thought I liked the •••• thing, and not only did they play the record non-stop through loudspeaker high up on my right, but the pop group came and played their hit by my bedside. Miriam's husband turned out to be one of the aliens, and because he came from America I had reprogram the flash device in kill off the next bunch of aliens. The bed that I was in was quite high and attached to me were a number of pipes, which led to a huge tank in the hospital grounds. A chap called George ran this facility. The tank was full of bits of people and other things and had a large drain at the bottom. I dreamt that I was led out to the tank (still in my bed or wheelchair) and I knew that I was going to be tipped down the drain. I remember now that I was very frightened, but determined that I would not disappear without trace and as we passed by the metal support of the tank, I reached out and placed my wedding ring, my watch and a handful of money on a shelf. We arrived at the drain, and I was tipped down this black plastic hole. I fell through and landed in bright sunlit, to my considerable surprise and relief. Both my son and Miriam were there and as I lay helpless on my back, Miriam who was still dressed in her priestess role, leant over me and said with sadness that this was all for the best and plunged a long dagger into my heart.
I am unsure as to whether the next episodes came after or before the above but I relate them as they come back into memory. I was in St. Paul's cathedral in London and was involved in an “entertainment” of some religious significance although I have no idea what. My part was at the end, where I suddenly appeared at the front of the stage dressed in a golden body suit and posing with arms and legs outstretched as though I was on a cross. The next thing, I found myself reclining, still in the golden body suit, on a collection of rocks. In front of me was a set of gates separating two towers. To the left there was seemed to be a bearded face, which I knew to be an enemy and indeed was diabolical. As I watched, the face started to rush towards me, and I pointed my hand at the oncoming face and forced it back with a ball of golden fire. I think that I returned to this dream sequence many times and each time I became weaker. I knew that I was in the most terrible danger, and I very clearly remember (even after this time) raising my left arm and pointing to the sky and calling out “O God help me and if You do I will make an act of contrition.” (I have no idea what I meant!) Out of the corner of my eye, I then saw a blue tide washing over the rocky scene coming in from the left ,and I felt a warmth and great strength being “fed” into me. I saw a huge hand coming down from above, holding a golden sheet and placing it behind me behind some tiles arranged in a circle
This last episode is the principal dream sequence which is causing the soul searching. I have yet to reach a satisfactory explanation. These notes are being written nearly year after the events, but the sequence below is still vivid in my mind and I have to understand what, if anything, it means. What did I experience, if anything? The real problem with this type of experience is that is subjective with no objective evidence to support it. I think normally that I would have dismissed the whole thing as a drug induced hallucination, but for the fact (this can be verified) that as soon as I woke, I was most insistent that my wife answer a question: where was my wedding ring? Somewhat puzzled, she told me that she had taken it off together with my watch and they were at home. I told her about the dream sequence where I had been bunged down the hole. I was then able to tell what was real and what was just a dream. I told my wife about the “religious episode” thinking that it would entertain her. There was an uncomfortable silence and I learnt for the first time the seriousness of my condition.
Since then I have tried to understand just what if anything really happened. There seem to be only a few possibilities, none of which is completely satisfying. Just coincidence and none of the dream episodes are meaningful. A drug induced hallucination. If a drug induced hallucination, what triggered it? A real transcendental experience? Did I become aware of my situation despite being deeply unconscious There seems no doubt that at times I was “aware” of my surroundings: for example, Pat played one of my tapes and tears rolled down my cheeks, Pat asked me if I disliked the music and I am told that I nodded. Apparently the staff never discussed my condition within earshot, but it could be that I did hear something even in my drugged state, and realized my danger. I have been reading about work carried with ketamine in order to produce NDE-like experiences, and although this seems to be the most likely explanation, I still cannot understand, if that is the case, where did I get the strength to stabilize after 28 arrests in the half hour. My condition was such that serious consideration was being given to switching off the life support. (Note added in 1998: my cardiologist tells me that I made a serious attempt at dying with a total of 75 arrests, which would appear to be a record as far as he knows.) I have tended to assume that the time of maximum danger was the period referred to above, but I continued to arrest, although nowhere near the frequency. I also was suffering from a multitude of organ failures of varying severity. Did I continue to draw strength throughout, or was there but one “injection” which was sufficient to carry me through. If a transcendental experience, what was it that gave me the strength? Was this a religious experience? Is there, contrary to all my previous beliefs, a personal God? Regards
By Anonymous on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 10:05 pm:
After an appendix operation, as they were trying to bring me round, I could not breathe, I felt as though as I was suffocating, I was feeling intense pain, I could not see anything but could hear everything that was going off in the operating theatre. After a few seconds, I was at my shoulder level, no pain. Next second, I was back in my body, intense pain once more. Then again, instantly I was a little further away from my body, again at shoulder level, no pain again. At this time I was thinking, Good grief, what are my daughter and dogs going to do without me? Again I whizzed back into my body, intense pain, Next time, a little further away from my body, thinking this time, :no pain, but there will be an article in the local press tomorrow: woman dies during routine appendix operation.: Whoosh, back in my body again, excruciating pain. Then relief, again a little further away from my body. No pain, what relief, still no sight like other people have said, but sound and totally rational thinking when I was not in my body. Next second, back to the agony. By this time the theatre staff realized that I was having trouble, and they said, she is going cyanosed; they said, “Let the machine breathe for you.” What relief. I woke up in intensive care on life support. But I have since said that if I had died, my spirit, soul or whatever would have still been there.
By Anonymous on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 10:04 pm:
The narrative above describes two of my experiences. I have also had other events that have changed me. I have true seen a ghost of a young lady at the road side, at night, in a very dense fog. I will never forget the eyes. They were empty. I thought I had hit her; I stopped the car and backed up. No one was there but she had been there. She was white with a white flowing dress and looked to be 14-17 years of age. My boyhood home was built on the exact site of where a church had burned. Some of the lumber in our home was from the burned out church. We played in the grave yard as kids. The house was filled with sounds at night. Heavy foot steps on the roof, scraping in the window screens and a family constantly in torment.
Two years ago as I sat at my computer at 9:00 AM on a Sunday morning writing an article, I had a very strong vision of my father falling on a snow-covered sidewalk, striking his head, massive bleeding, and an ambulance taking him away. I also saw him dead. The sensation was extremely strong and I had to sit back in my chair to deal with it. At noon, three hour later, my father fell while entering a bowling alley that we had gone to for a birthday party. Everything happened as in the vision, and he died a few weeks later of complications of massive head trauma. I was extremely shaken a few hours after he fell and a surgeon came to me to talk. I told him of my vision, and that I might have been able to have stopped it. He looked at me and said that his father had told him of many like situations that he had experienced during WWII. The surgeon believed my story, and said he believed that something is available to us if we just knew how to deal with it. He too calmed me, and then walked away. Many things in business and research come true after I had envisioned them as much as a decade prior to the event. I do not want to use any ability for gain, but it haunts me to know that this ability exists. I have some very strong theories about what is going on and the nature of these abilities. I know I am not crazy and if my theories are correct it could change the nature of how mankind will exist in the future.
By Anonymous on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 09:56 pm:
In 1973, I was scheduled for a routine cardiac catheterization. This was probably my sixth one in the span of my 18 years at the time. I was born with congenital malformations of the heart and had three corrective surgeries to repair the damage prior to this experience. I was nervous. All I could remember were the experiences I had had in the past which were terrifying. I was afraid this would be the same regardless of advances in the technique of the procedure. I was taken to the cath lab, and everything I had remembered about my past procedures came true. It was four hours of terror, due in part by a physician who at the time was a resident and was assisting the cardiologist performing the procedure. The whole matter was botched from the get go. When I was returned to my room, I was drained of every ounce of energy. It was an effort to take a breath. I ask the nurse for a drink’ she brought juice. I took a sip, and then vomited. I fell back on the bed, heard a scream for help, which I assume came from the nurse in attendance. The next thing I knew, someone was shaking me. I could not respond.
I began to drift away into what I thought was sleep and suddenly found myself back home watching my mother and my little brothers and sisters about the house. In an instant, I was aware of being among my relatives in Indiana, my birthplace. I saw each of my relatives going about their everyday routine. Suddenly I remember reciting the Act of Contrition aloud, but my lips were not moving. In that moment, I was soaring toward a great light. During this time, I noticed that I was passing cornfields and split-rail fences. There were folks waving to me as I was "flying" by. The feeling I had was one of great warmth and happiness. It was a joy I had never experienced before and haven't since. Very suddenly, I came to a stop and found myself in the presence of an iridescent golden light. I felt part of that light... joined to it if you will. At that moment I knew all that was, all that had been and all that was to come. Though I did not return to my body with the knowledge of my future as I had in the experience with the Great Light, I came back knowing that there was a plan.
I heard the words "it is not your time." I felt an overwhelming sense of sadness and instantly was back in the bed at the hospital in great pain. When I opened my eyes, my father was at my side. There were IV's going and an oxygen mask on my face. My chest ached as though I had been hit directly in the center of it. I started to cry but I was so weak. I wanted to tell my father what had happened, but I couldn't, so I just drifted into sleep. Sometime later, I told the story. But my father just laughed at me and explained it as all in my imagination. I never spoke of the experience again until years later when I found out that a cousin who fell into a diabetic coma had a similar experience. He is the only one who knows the truth. I fill my days with thoughts of God and going to Him again. I am not afraid.
By Anonymous on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 09:55 pm:
I had visited your web site, and thought I would share my experience with death with you! In 1979, I was in an accident on a motorcycle that left me with major injuries. At that time, I was 20 years old. I had died just minutes after reaching the hospital. Things I remember are seeing myself being worked on to bring me back to life. I never saw the light that so many talk about. However, I did feel the peaceful feeling that comes with death. I have never talked about this experience to any except my wife and children. I have always known that there is something on that other side that I will visit one day. I am not afraid of death anymore. Well, years have went by since then; now I'm 40 years old, had a lot of family trouble, got divorced and so on. It took a toll on me bad. Well, in 1997, I was drinking one night. I got to thinking about my life and that I had lost my family! So I took a gun and without hesitation put it to my head and pulled the trigger. From that point, I had a visit from a lady; don’t know who it was to this day. She was not from real life. she had told me I am not suppose to be there, that what I had done is very wrong, and that she was going to make it right again. This I had not told anyone either. Then I spent the next two weeks in a nightmare kind of state, living with awful things. Unlike the first time I died, she told me if I ever take my life again, this is what I would have to live with for eternity. Then I woke up in the hospital. I have come close to dying many times in my life: from drowning to almost getting shot during a hunting season. But I always seem to have some angel watching over me all the time. Am I special? I don’t know, but to someone in the after life I suppose I am. What my reason is for living I don’t know. Why I dodge death so many times, I don’t know either. But I do know I won’t take my life again by my own hand. That nightmare is one I don’t want again. So now days, I try to understand god and things and to be a good person. In my belief, I think I am still here learning good things in life and treating and loving people. I have hate for no other person on earth, no matter what they have done against me. That is my belief as of this day.
Thank you and what great research you have done!!!
By Anonymous on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 09:53 pm:
I was hospitalized and put in traction after a car accident left me with a broken right femur in 1970. Because it was such a clean break, I had a hard time healing, so after three months of traction proved fruitless, the doctor decided to insert a steel plate in my leg to assist healing. I was scheduled for surgery in 1971 at 11:00 in the AM. At around 8:00, a nurse came in and gave me a hypo. About an hour later when the doctor came in, after checking my blood pressure, he asked if I had been given a hypo. When the nurse said I had, he instructed her to give me another one. He came back about an hour later and checked my pressure again. He asked me if I had any concerns. I told him I wasn't afraid of the surgery, but that I was scared of the traction being dismantled while I was still awake. He told me that I could be put to sleep in my room if I wanted, and that's what they did. When I fell asleep, I was in my room with the traction still attached. The next thing I remember was a blinding light shining in my eyes and I could her muffled discussion. It gradually became clearer (my eyesight, not the voices), and I could see the huge light from the operating table, and also the doctor with a mask on, and two nurses. I turned my head to the left and could see another man seated at my head (I now presume this to be the anesthesiologist). I thought to myself, "Oh my God, I'm waking up and they're not done with the surgery yet!" But then it occurred to me that nothing hurt!
Then in the next instant, I was up in the right hand corner of the room, watching them work on ME! I could see the back of the doctor's head, silver side of the light over the table, the tiles on the floor and walls, everything, very distinct. Then I felt a presence directing me to go through the building where the ceiling and walls met. When I did, the outside was (of course) a tunnel. I was at the entrance to it, and the “presence” had turned into three cloud-like, ghost-like beings. I sensed they were female, and they were very calming. They reached and held me under my armpits, although it didn't feel like they were touching me. They guided me through this tunnel. It was kind of V-shaped with the bottom of the V being where I started from. The opening got larger as I headed through it. The light at the end was Brilliant, and as we neared the opening, a form started to appear. At first, I couldn't quite make it out. But as we got closer, it formed into an elderly woman, whom I instinctively knew was very kind. I could see behind her and there was a beautiful garden in full bloom with all kinds of beautiful flowers. This woman looked a lot like my grandmother (who was still alive at the time), but yet I knew it wasn't her. I tried to go past her, I wanted badly to see the garden, but she put her arm out and stopped me. She bent down and hugged me (Why am I crying as I write this part?), and without any words, she told me that I couldn't stay. She said I had to go back. I was crying then and I told her I didn't want to and begged her to let me stay. She said that something had happened and I shouldn't have been there (I often wonder now if she meant at all or just right then). She said I wasn't finished yet. She said she'd come with me and, reluctantly, I went with her, crying all the way. When we turned around we were up in the corner of the operating room again, and there were the same people in the same setting. She gave me a little push and said, "Go on, now.” I turned back and reached my hand out to her and she held it for an instant. Then I was settling into my body and then I fell asleep. When I woke up, I was back in my hospital room and my mom was standing over my bed holding my hand. I immediately recounted the events with her.
Several months later, when we were visiting my grandmother I noticed a picture on her bookcase and shouted, "That's the woman I saw!!" My grandmother told me that it was her mother, my great-grandmother. I guess then it all fell into place. Even though we have a rather large extended family, up to that point no one that I knew had died. She was there because I would know her and we were family. I never had the opportunity to ask the doctor, or I didn't then because I thought he would think me nuts, but it was never discussed whether or not something life-threatening happened in the operating room. Every time I recall this experience it is as fresh in my mind as if it happened yesterday. I have no doubt that it happened. I was never in that operating room while I was conscious, yet I can describe it and the on-goings in there like it was my own back yard. I never really knew what it was that happened or why it happened to me until years later in my adult life when I saw a documentary on NDE's. I was mesmerized as I realized that is exactly what happened to me! It has a name and it happens to other people, too. I really don't feel the need to tell others, I am grateful that I experienced it, and I am thankful to you for the opportunity to express my feelings right here and right now. Thank you very much...
By Anonymous on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 09:42 pm:
I was asleep and what I saw was a darkness come around me and I was scared, but then some light started to show and then hands, at first I was scared and then I was not. Then I started to see people coming to me, and they where family. Some I knew and some I never meet. They were dead long before I was born, but I knew them. I was not scared. Then there was a light at end of this tunnel, and I knew it was God in there and I was not scared. I felt at peace, but then I thought about my kid and how young I was. Then I heard a voice say, “It was not my time.” I woke up coughing and that scared me. I stayed up. I had dreams before of a gate. It was open a little bit and then the next night it was closed. This has made me not scared of death.
By Anonymous on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 09:41 pm:
I was in bed at night and woke up with a hot fever. I called my mother, who was trained in nursing, to get me a glass of cold water. She took my temperature and it was one hundred and fifteen degrees. I went to sleep. Early in the morning, I opened my eyes and could see the sun shining through my window. Suddenly a deep, dark tunnel opened up at the foot of my bed leading up and outward. A being clothed in bright white garments, with a bright happy angelic face, appeared at the end of the tunnel at the foot of my bed. It stretched out its arms and said to me, "Come with me and all of your worries and problems will be over.” I decided to put it to the test, as I didn't believe problems would disappear just because I was not around. I asked the being what would happen to my younger brother and sister whom I protected from my mean sadistic older brother? The being turned dark and grimaced at me and said harshly, “Forget about them, think about yourself!" I said to it, "You're not an angel"! I wasn't going anywhere with that creature. I threw up its arms, covered its face, and said "Nooooooo" as it retreated back into the tunnel, which closed up on it and disappeared. I felt very good that I was not fooled into giving up my struggle to help my family by death. I noticed later that morning that I was covered with a lot of bumps. I had the chicken pox, which was a very severe case that lasted three weeks. I have never forgotten the experience, and I have only shared it with my younger siblings whom I have gladly looked after all of their lives and most of mine.
By Anonymous on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 09:40 pm:
Anyway, ever since I was a child I have been able to see and feel someone watching over me. One time I was playing the piano a felt a very nice warm feeling over my shoulder I turned to see who it was and I saw a really big smile. I guess whoever it was, was proud of me at the time. As I went through school, I knew what the teachers were going to say at times before they said a word. I just sold my house and I left a ghost with it! It used to move things in my toy room, but never wanted to contact me except through a ouija board. I was able to get initials, but that was it. My hairs stood up really high so, I just let it be and played in my toy room. It would walk around in the room at night while we watched TV downstairs. I would usually yell upstairs for it to not to break anything.
Another thing that has been happening is a guy at work died a few years ago and I would see him at work playing hide and seek with me. If I told this to anyone they would think I'm nuts! I can tell you this though I haven't seen him in awhile. I think he finally went towards the light; I did tell him to do so. Another thing: I was at work and I kept on seeing red and yellow flashing lights. I left work and down the street at the corner, there was a fire at a warehouse! Leaving work, I was at a red light when it turned green. I sat there; I didn't know why until a tractor-trailer came running through a red light. Thank God for the intuition! I can go on. When my brother was baptized, the white cloth the Priest used to wipe the holy water off his forehead had blood on it and no one was bleeding. Another time one of my brothers had been run over by the family car and he was fine. The tire tracks went across his chest. These two brothers are twins also.
By Anonymous on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 09:39 pm:
All my vital functions had shut down. I was not declared brain dead (yet), but my family had been "prepped" by the doctors of my impending death. I had bloated to 170 pounds (normally 120); my skin was black and cold. The doctors could not draw blood because it had thickened. I was not aware of my situation. I was in the most beautiful place I have ever seen. I was near a beautiful blue lake that was as smooth as glass except for the two swans gliding through the water. At one end of the lake, a large (willow) tree leaned from the bank over the water. The grass was green and deep. The sun was a beautiful golden color and the smell was that of a warm summer day, sweet and relaxing. Then I heard the music. It was music I have never heard before, beautiful and "angelic.” I tried to distinguish the instruments, but I was unable to name them, and I realized the instruments did not have human names. Then the voices began, slowly at first, blending with the music until I could not distinguish the music from the voices. I wanted to grab my journal (that I kept beside my bed at night, so when I woke in the middle of the night with song lyrics in my head, I could write them down). I couldn't find my journal and realized that I was not supposed to relay this information to anyone else. This was something that only I was to experience. No voices spoke it to me but my "soul" understood (I don't really know what I mean by this but it is the only way I can explain it). After I realized I wasn't supposed to "explain" this to others, I realized that the music and voices were a lot like the wind in the trees, the kind of wind that isn't gusty, strong, or destructive but the kind of wind that soothes, caresses and nurtures the earth. ????
I was never afraid because I "felt" a "presence" always nearby to offer comfort but there was no discomfort. I felt safe and warm. It was as if I had been shown "what could be" and not to be afraid. During the weeks in CCU, I had many "dreams," all of which involved some decision on my part (do I ask the man in a car for a ride or should I walk?). There was always a decision to be made in my "dreams.” It was as if the decisions I was making were the basis on whether or not I would live or die. I don't really know how to explain it. I did not know until a month or so later that I was in a coma, dying. I thought I was always awake and alive, just like the day I went to the hospital. I have not told all here because it is so lengthy it would take weeks to narrate it all. But I remember very well. Can someone please help me with this? It has been three years since this happened and I have researched, talked, read. .. done everything possible to try to place some understanding of what happened to me into perspective. I believe what happened to me has gone beyond the boundaries of my religion and this is a journey I must make alone - I have to look beyond. Am I crazy?
By Anonymous on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 09:38 pm:
The event happened one evening in 1983. I usually take an evening walk with my dog near my house in Bangalore, India. The houses are located within a fenced enclosure about half a square mile with about 40 houses at either end and open space in between. That day, I took a walk alone and it was a little later than my usual time. I walked to a big rock about 15-20 feet high and I stood on top of it. I thought later that it was a little unusual for me to do that. I used to practice yoga about 3 years prior to that event and I do it in a lying position. But that day I did that same yoga postures standing up on that rock, which was again very unusual. After a while, I saw a light slowly rising in the evening sky from the horizon and it stopped about 30 to 45 degrees angle to the ground in the westwardly direction. I noticed that there were three lights side by side. I remember that it changed in color from orange to white or vice-versa. The next thing I remember was that I was communicating with the light telepathically. The communication went as follows: The Light: “Do you want to come now?” (There was no hint of pressure, just a statement. I then immediately thought about my mother to whom I had deep affection, and other unfinished business. ) I: “No, Not right now.” (The thought just formed in my mind. There wasn't really a dialogue. But I knew the instance the thought formed then the light was able to know it) If I had thought affirmatively, then I am very sure that I would not have continued my life in this world. I can only speculate the course my life would have taken. After a little while, the light just faded away. I then awoke as if from a slumber. Just then a dog, not my own, gave a little startled bark, after which I became fully conscious of my surroundings.
I then broke into a run as I was filled with unknown energy. I remember a car passing by on the road that connected the two blocks of house. When the car passed by me, I felt that I was nearly ten feet tall and I was towering above it. When I reached my house, I just plopped on the sofa and went into a deep trance-like state. I remember that my father, who was an extremely short-tempered person and would go into a rage if anything is not to his liking, was just looking perplexedly at me plopped on the sofa. Normally, I would not be in the same room as he was, as far as possible. But that day, I was just filled with an over-powering energy and did not acknowledge his presence at all. After that day, a lot of extra-ordinary events did take place. I had an amazing ability to heal people even though I am not in close contact with them. The world would sometimes appear to be more colorful and bright. I could feel some radiant energy flowing all around me, especially from the trees, which appeared bright and dark-green. I could feel that I was connected to a mysterious source of energy which was all around me. Of course, the energy has diminished every passing day. But I was on top of the world a considerable amount of time after that event. I would also like to mention that I did not visit doctors for any ailments after that event until this day. I let nature heal myself, or in some rare cases, have taken alternative medicines. I believe strongly in the mind-body connection. I am also a strong believer in a universal God. Thank you for giving me an opportunity to share this information. I have not shared this information with anyone, except my wife, so far.