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Archive through February 26, 2002

Archive through February 26, 2002

View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous ( - on Tuesday, February 26, 2002 - 11:12 am:

Experience Narrative:
I had recently gotten separated from my ex-husband. He had tried to run me over with my own car. He was stalking me and wanted to kill me. My brother had tried killing me three months before, I tried to kill myself. I never went to the light. I was miserable wanted to die, I have four children and my health began to deteriate. I felt that I was going to be a horrible mother because of the craziness I had gone through that year. I called my cousin and told her that my children needed someone to come and care for them. I believed I had lost my self. I felt week and insecure living one horror after another. I was sick of life. I went into the bathroom and locked the door. There I drank a 1/5 of whiskey and swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. I really don't remember how I got from there to the hospital. I was begging them to let me die. I was in the emergency room and I could see the nurses and the doctors cutting off my clothes. I saw an oriental nurse and a young white doctor with round rim glasses looking at me. I was feeling no pain. I was watching from the upper corner of the room above everyone. When, I saw a dark cloud and the cloud began to separate. As the cloud separated a light began to shine through. As it began to shine I reached for the light and was embraced in the warm of it. I saw the future I saw In the past. I felt and knew that I was part of all things. I wanted to stay but I was sent back. I was told it was not my time to die. So I am back. I am a single mother of four children. Now I am a grandmother of three beautiful grandchildren all born within two months of each other. I have two bachelor degrees and working on my masters in sociology. I still get very ill from allergies. I have had more out of body experiences from allergy reactions. But have not seen the light again**

View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous ( - on Tuesday, February 26, 2002 - 11:07 am:

Had pneumonia as a child with a temp of 107 for a time. At night while alone I was suddenly floating near the ceiling. Looking down I saw a kid that looked pretty sick. In fact, he looked dead and did not appear to be breathing. (I lived on a farm and knew what dead looked like.)

After a bit the ceiling dissolved into darkness and opened up. I was drawn upward into a sort of tunnel although I could not see the walls. There was a rushing sound, as I seemed to gather speed.I realized there was someone or something beside me that calmed my fears somewhat. A spot of light appeared in the distance, my speed lessened, and I stepped out into a kind of clearing. Two people I never saw before were beaming at me and said they were aunt and uncle. I did not know them and at that time did not know that my mother had been adopted as a child. There was some sort of fence and a guy at a kind of lectern. Everything was brilliantly illuminated with a white light. There was a pastoral scene with hills and trees and meadows. We waited for someone to come.The three others went into ecstasies as a brilliant figure approached. He/it asked me if I wanted to stay there. I thought that my mother would miss me something dreadful if I did not go back. Assent was given, I was escorted back to the dark cave and I returned down the tunnel, with air rushing by, as on the way up.

Then I was at the top of the room, looking at my inert body. Next thing I knew I was back in my sweaty, miserable body again. The experience had little effect on my life, so far as I can tell.I am not "religious" but have a strict code of behavior based on religious tenets.What did interest me was the effect I had on the clairvoyance of other people.

1.My grandfather hated the movies. Yet he announced that he and I were going to see a movie on a certain date about two weeks away.I hoped but I really didn't believe he would keep his word. But he reminded me a day ahead and, sure enough, picked me up,drove to town, and prepared to go into the movie.There were two "shows" in town and I would have preferred the Rialto offering but he insisted on going to the Isis. The cartoon came on followed by the serial and then an Our Gang comedy appeared. There was a perfectly horrible little girl who gave Darla and the boys a great deal of trouble. Grandfather elbowed me and said, "That's the girl you are going to marry." "Darla?" I asked. "Nope. The other one." You can imagine my goose bumps when I discovered that my new wife had acted in Our Game comedies and remembered that role.

2.About the same time in my life,we were studying American historyand discussing the founding of San Francisco by DeAnza when the teacher, suddenly pointed to the back of the room and said excitedly, "You are going to go there to Tubac -- and you will run a museum." after sorting ourselves out -- "Yes, you I was not particularly astonished but curious. "Will I be a good museum director?" I asked."Not wonderful, but good," she replied -- and that was a fair assessment of my five hears running Museum. I saw my opportunity and tried to get other information (since chances like this didn't appear every day)to ask questions. She answered my questions and volunteered some information my daughter will be famous but I won't like what she does (hasn't happened yet) and my son will do OK but won't be notorious. I wish my memory were much better.

I asked how long I would live and I believe I have about two more years to go. I haven't been in prison yet for shooting someone in a political argument but I have participated in a very involved and confusing battle between government agencies over operation of a shooting range, which she predicted. She was nearly fired because of her "fit". I did not recall these experiences until about age 35.This kind of thing couldn't happen.But it did.You go figure.I give up.

View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous ( - on Monday, February 25, 2002 - 02:51 pm:

Of the experience itself: I remember standing (or whatever) in a bright white sort of fog and there was a being (or energy force) on my left. I felt very close to this being (wanting to be with it as one would a spouse, etc.). I also remember wandering around in a charcoal-colored fog. I must add that this accident took out a big hole in my memory of my life. I've lost the whole day that it happened, the weeks I was in the hospital (of that all I remember is a flash of my coming-to in ICU and a little bit of when I must have been in therapy because I remember working with blocks and wondering why I had to do this and why I was placed with all the other people in there who were obviously so 'out of it'), and several more weeks after that. I did not remember any of the experience until a few months ago my mother happened to be talking about my stay at the hospital and what I had said to her. As soon as she reported that I had said, "I was in a place where it was all bright white...", this came rushing back to me and I remembered it. There are so many things I can't remember from the past, UNLESS someone mentions something that 'cues' my mind to remember it. I've been told that I said some strange things when I was in the hospital, but from what I've been told nothing makes any sense and it has not 'cued' any memories. What I was wanting to know is if there is any way my mind can be 'cued' so that I can remember even more of my experience (because what I do remember is only just that little flash). I WANT TO REMEMBER MORE OF THIS. Since my experience I have become more sensitive to others feelings and thoughts and have had several 'deja vu' experiences- knowing that someone was going to say something. These experiences are quite transient though and I haven't had one for quite some time (they often concerned me knowing what my daughter was going to say).I didn't realize the significance of my sense of life purpose until some time after that in 1994, when I totaled my car. As I stood there beside my demolished car I KNEW that it wasn't my time to go and that I had some purpose yet for my life. Yes I had an airbag that had allegedly saved my life, BUT it had leaked out some of the chemicals onto my chin (that chemical burn was the only thing I received from my wreck). Since the airbag leaked, it couldn't have been what actually saved my life. Since then I have been working on improving my life: I found Wicca (or maybe Wicca finally found me, I hope!), I quit smoking, I quit my menial factory job of 22 years and went back to college, and have become a better person. I must add that I would never have been able to quit smoking or my job to go back to school (which is such a RADICAL change in my life!), if I hadn't found Wicca. Wicca has given me so much strength and support in my life. I don't yet practice the physical/magical side yet because my studies require so much of me (this is hard when you're in your 40's), but I will someday. For right now, the magic I am working is in my grades (3.1 G.P.A.).

View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous ( - on Monday, February 25, 2002 - 02:49 pm:

I ruptured a disc in the lower lumbar, and suffered horribly for four months before deciding on surgery. I was overmedicating just to keep from screaming, the pain was so severe. The surgery was supposed to only take an hour and a half, mine took six hours. Dr's discovered that I have an extremely rare condition, conjoined nerves in the L5/S1 slot. They weren't sure if all of my nerves do this or if the nerve from the slot above had improperly grown into the lower slot. This is what was causing me such severe pain. I had two nerves being pinched by the ruptured disc. Of course the Dr. apologized all over himself for doubting my description of this intense pain, and not doing better MRI scans. Ok, I woke up from surgery in a room covered in stains from the previous "guests" No kidding, there was pigeon shit on the inside of the curtains, blood stains, urine stains, there was nowhere I could look to gain peace, except the stained picture on the wall. The second night of my stay, I experienced severe muscle spasm, I screamed while my muscles locked in spasm. This lasted about a half an hour. I was given excessive amounts of Morphine. This type of spasm happened three times that night. I woke the next morning dazed, my vision was blurry, a side effect of morphine, and I was unable to process what the Dr's told me about anything. The third night, I had the near death experience. I had been having so many side effects from the morphine that I was given Diladid instead, don't ask why another opiate was given, I have no idea. I remember feeling sleepy, a minute or so after the injection, then I thought to myself, I can feel my heart stopping, then I told myself "this is a peaceful way to go, I'm not in pain. A second later I was dreaming. This happens four or five times that night, so bear with me. The first dream was just a static image, an industrial sized white cloth laundry basket, like in the movie Annie, filled with dead baby monkeys, they were gray and lifeless. I awoke scared, terrified, but too groggy to fight the sleep again. The next time I drifted off, I suddenly saw myself in the air of the room, I saw myself, and I saw my mom, she was asleep in a chair. I could see my body, my mom, the room, all in perfect detail. My spirit person was screaming and trying to wake up my mom, but she couldn't hear me, I was terrified, I (the spirit) screamed for what seemed like a full minute before I awoke in the room, still seeing the room the same way. I told my mom what happened, I was crying, but the drugs were still overwhelming, I drifted off again. This time I awoke to a very surreal scene. My blond haired little brother (15 at the time and seemingly the same age in the dream) was flying, he had angel wings, with me in his grasp. he had me under the arms, and was flying me over this door, the whole time he was tickling me and assuring me he wouldn't drop me. the whole thing was very peaceful. I woke up in the hospital room feeling much calmer than the first time. The next dream was again, out of body, the same as the second; I screamed bloody murder when I realized I was looking down at the room, my body, and my poor tired mom. There was one more dream that night, I fell asleep and woke to loud barking, what looked like my sister's dog, a puppy I had given her, was above me on the bed. one paw on each side of my head, one back paw on each side of my waist, like he was standing over me, he was barking, as if an intruder was breaking in. Finally I looked into his eyes, and thought, ok I'm getting up, and it's ok. I awoke, the drugs had waned a bit, I woke up my mom, and told her not to let me sleep, as uncomfortable as it was I got off the bed and sat in a chair until the sun came up. I was in the hospital for six days, but when I got home finally, I had one last dream, again out of body, this time it was daylight, I could see myself on the bed in my apartment, and when I realized I was a spirit again I floated to the door and tried to open it, I was screaming for my mom who was down the hall, the spirit felt like it fell from trying to walk and I woke up. I threw away all the drugs they gave me, and went through severe withdrawal. For the next four months I talked to animals, saw parts of my life, fell through pie. Let me explain pie, rent the movie pie (the math symbol, not dessert) it was like what the main character goes though. I can't explain it better than that, but I got insight from somewhere. I felt connected to everything I could carry on for hours this way, the strangest things kept happening. I am more psychic, I knew something was wrong with my mom two months ago, She had a heart attack, just recently my sister broke her nose, I knew something happened then too.

View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous ( - on Monday, February 25, 2002 - 02:45 pm:

After having severe chest pains, I was rushed to the Hospital. I was catherized and it was discovered that I had two blockages in my heart arteries. I was treated with nitro-glycerin drip and was prepared for surgery. I was pushed into the operating room and placed on what seemed to be a metal bed. I was fully awake and alert. I saw several people dressed in uniforms preparing for the surgery. The all had on caps and gowns and face masks. There was one man who was near me and I asked him who that he was. He replied that he would be putting me to sleep for the surgery. I asked him if he would tell me a few minutes before I went under, so that I would know when to expect it. Then I noticed a man standing beside one of the walls. No one was talking in the room and no one seemed to notice that man. But I noticed that he was doing nothing while the others was busy working. He just stood there and stared at me and had a smile on his face. He was dressed differently from the others as he had on a white shirt that was a pull over shirt with a purple stand up collar. I could not see below his waist as there was a metal table in front of him. He reminded me of a "Hippy" of the 60s. His hair was long and black. His eyes were brown and he had a black beard which was of medium length. He had a strange nose which came out of his forehead higher than usual. His dress was different from the others and he wasn't doing anything . I remember thinking .Who is that guy? Then the doctor told me to count backwards from 100 and that I would be out in a little bit. So I did count and stared at that man until I became unconscious. After the surgery, this man who I was watching before I went under, was on my mind and I questioned everyone to find out who that he was. Well. No one saw him. The Doctor laughed at me and told me that there are a lot of people who see other people before they go under, but never did anyone tell him about seeing an "Angel" When he said that to me..I realized that the person that I saw was not a man ..but an Angel,and I was too stupid to realize it at the time. I guess that's all and it is the truth. As my Doctor said."no one is allowed in the room without a cap and gown and a mask on before a surgery,.and no one saw such a man except for me.

View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous ( - on Monday, February 25, 2002 - 02:42 pm:

I'd been sick with flu like symptoms for a day or so, and I was lying in bed with my husband, who was sleeping. I'd fallen asleep, woke up and felt feverish. I used the digital thermometer next to the bed to take my temp, it was 102. The fever made me feel very weak, but a relaxed kind of week, almost pleasurable. Then I took some more Tylenol and tried to go back to sleep. Whether I had fallen asleep or not, I'm still not sure. But I must have noticed suddenly instead of gradually what seemed to be the fever getting higher. I felt even more weak and relaxed, but I felt extremely heavy. even my fingers felt like they weighed a hundred pounds. I REALLY liked feeling that relaxed. I felt more of a void of everything, emotionally and physically. I remember thinking it was nice to have no worries, no pain fear, etc. But I also noticed no joy, pleasure or any of the good counterparts. I was VERY surprised to learn that I liked it(the void). Then my husband came to mind and I felt an urgency not to enjoy this void too much, that I needed to be with him and not leave him.

Then I became frightened and tried to call out to him, but I thought he couldn't hear me. In my mind I was screaming a little louder and louder each time. When I thought I screamed the loudest out of panic, I finally heard me whispering to him and I realized I hadn't been heard at all. Then I guess I gave up trying to make him hear me.

The next thing I remember is being in a void. I couldn't tell whether I was in light or darkness. I just remember NOTHING being all around me, except He was about six feet in front of me, standing there. He was silent for a while as if He was giving me time to revel and let everything sink in. When I looked at Him, He seemed to be about the size of a regular man, being he was only about six feet away. Height and everything seemed normal, but in another sense, He seemed huge. Not in size but in glory. Glory was the first thing that came to my mind because of the fact that even though He seemed my size, I kept wanting to look way up, straight up at Him instead of straight ahead-- But I don't remember actually "seeing" anything larger than a man. Then I wondered why I didn't feel His everlasting love like everyone else does when they see Him,then
the answer came to me as soon as I thought the question."That's not what I was there for." with no other explanation. Even though I understood the "answer", I still felt disappointed that I didn't feel His love, understanding, and mercy. I felt disappointed, on top of cheated, and undeserving to feel these things from Him, but not angry- just very confused. I received no explanation as to why I hadn't felt these things, just the one "answer".

Then He told me that he was going to show me something, as in to prepare me so I wouldn't have a heart attack or something. I immediately felt paralyzed but not frightened, and he showed me several thousand visions at once. The only way I have if figured out how to describe this experience is taking a hand full of beebees and dropping them onto the floor. The visions came to me as fast as the beebees would hit at the same time on the floor. I don't remember any of them except the first. He was standing beside me on a mountain top, and we were looking down on a valley. Several hundred people were scattering around as if they were preparing for some big event that was about to happen soon. On the other side of the valley was another mountain, with trees greener than I've ever seen with my own eyes. The same applies to the color of the trees and the valleys grass was not a color I've seen here on earth.

The first thing I noticed was my vision- the ability of my physical vision. From the mountain top I was standing on, the valley seemed to be MANY miles away, at least ten or so, maybe more. But I could see clearly every detail of both sides of the valley as I could the other. If one of the people were to have had a note in their hand, or two people had a note for instance, I would have been able to read them.- on both sides of the valley at one time. I don't remember seeing anything specifically, but I do remember how well I was able to see.

I have a faint memory of an object in the middle of the valley and of the people going to and from this object, like they were preparing it,or something with it or something. The object seemed to be about the size of a standard sized car with a similar shape. (I later learned the measurements of the Ark of the Covenant are of similar shape and size, yet the fact does not jog my memory any.) I also faintly remember the people wearing a different style of clothing than we do today. Though I don't remember what the difference is, I do recall they didn't seem to be manufactured. Sandals and robes and the like SEEM familiar, but I don't specifically recall any of those things. They just seemed to be from The biblical times or something.

That was the last of the vision I remember before waking up. I was still in the bed next to my husband. My fever felt much higher then before again. I had to use the restroom but I felt too weak. I had tried to get up but I couldn't move. I looked at the alarm clock and acknowledged the time. I don't remember now what time it was but I had fell asleep and when I woke up again it was less than five minutes later. This time my fever felt lower. I hasn't as weak and I STILL had to urinate with severe urgency. I sat up in the bed and took my temp again, it was 104.3 even though I could tell it had lowered by my regained strength and my ability to think clearly (along with my ability to feel pain). I thought the thermometer was wrong so I took my temp again, and it read the same, 104.3. I turned the thermometer off, smoked a cigarette then went to the bathroom. Then I got myself back into the bed, and took my temp again, it was 102. I had only been gone to the bathroom less than a minute and I had smoked most of my cigarette on the way to and in the bathroom. Trying to judge from how quickly my temperature had gone down, I'm still not sure if my experience was only fever induced or if I had actually died momentarily, but I do know that it was an NDE. I was over the "flu" or whatever it was the next morning.

God Bless You.

View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous ( - on Monday, February 25, 2002 - 02:32 pm:

This is the experience of Robby, his mother Christine is describing this. My son doesn't remember the experience itself now that it's 7 years later, but he remembers his description to me.

He had been ambulanced after flat lining at another hospital. His organs were shutting down one by one, causing the next organ to stop working. The organism that had caused the damage had been tested for had not been found, but other tests ruled out every kind of disease from meningitis from lyme disease. The CDC specialists ruled out everything except for the one disease they could not verify which was toxic shock syndrome. This disease was known as only appearing in women who used tampons but had recently at the time been proven to be contracted in other ways, as in open sores and untreated strep throat, as toxic shock is caused by a strep bacteria.

The doctors and I had decided over much consideration to put Robby on an EKMO. I can't remember what the initials stand for but basically it's a machine that pumps the blood from your body into the machine, oxygenates it, nitrifies the blood of whatever else it needs then pumps the blood back into the body. It takes the place of the lungs in the sense that your lungs oxygenate your blood as you breathe, and the heart in the sense that your heart pumps the blood into all the vessels and other organs and places the blood needs to be. From what I understood, the machine takes the place of all organs by doing all their jobs, while on this machine, the heart does not beat, and your lungs do not breathe. The only thing of your body that is alive is the blood, with kind of keeps everything else in a dormant state.

I had had a vision the night before the conference discussing this option so when we actually had the conference, I didn't want specific details about the machine. All I cared about was my some being okay, and God told me that my son would be okay in that vision the night before, so I told the doctors to use their judgment on the details, because it wasn't going to affect what I knew the outcome would be.

They told me none of his organs would be working during his time on the machine, and that he would be brain dead as he had been for a while.(he had been in a coma state for two months by this time.) They said his chances of coming back with organs that would actually work by themselves would be less than 20 percent.-that once the organs don't work on their own for an extended period of time it's extremely difficult to make them do so. They also had told me that if he did come back from this machine that his chances aren't good at ever being normal--that he may have permanent physical or mental damage. There were very few cases of people coming out off this machine alive, much less normal. The machine was relatively new at the time and there was not enough use of it yet to give any kind of statistics. They said that from what little it has been used that children seem to have had better outcomes than adults. I remember they had told me either that it hadn't been used on many adults yet or either the outcome of adults was not good. Adults or children, they said not many people in general have come off the machine normal if at all. All this information was too much for me to comprehend and was bothering me because it seemed futile and a waste of my time since I had my vision, so I would not let them explain anything else about it to me. (even though I'm very interested in it after the fact, after all, it is several of the many miracles my son was blessed with.-these were the obstacles God bought him out of.) I told the doctors I would sign whatever they wanted me to, asked them to use their own judgment, that he was going to be okay either way. I gave permission and he was put on the machine for 7 or 9 days.

The surgery of putting the machine on is risky itself, it's hooked on the body through the! artery at your neck and the groin.-one where the blood is pumped out, the one where it's pumped back in after it has been treated. ALL went 200 percent better than expected after that, he was awake from his coma about a week after the machine was removed (which I understand is equally as risky as hooking up the machine). A week later, he was alert enough to tell me what he saw.

He really didn't know how to describe his experience, so I tried to understand it in his kid language. He didn't tell the order that he had the experience, but he said he saw a bright light, and that he saw a pearly gate made out of a single pearl, and that he saw an angel named Elizabeth with dark, long stringy hair, but he could not remember her face. He said she told him that his nanny's needed him and loved him very much. (he's the only grandchild between both his grandmothers and 99% probably always will be). He said Elizabeth gave him a gift wrapped in bright lighted paper with a gold bow on it, and that when he opened it, it was a crystal cross that glowed with a bright light. Then Elizabeth picked him up and held him over her head, and he held the cross over his head to show it to Jesus. I asked him what Jesus looked like, he said he didn't see Him, that he just held the cross of for Him to see. He said that was all he remembered of the experience.

I had related this to the nurses who had become attached to Robby. One nurse said that her and her coworker's experience, including several doctors found that there were several children who had seen the same angel named Elizabeth. I've read one other article about a child's NDE who also saw her. One of the doctors also said he's noticed that most people and children included who have seen angels usually do not die from the experience that caused them to see the angels, and the opposite for those who see Jesus. I was very concerned about this due to the fact that my son said he could not remember this angel's face, and! I had heard of NDE's where it was Jesus' face people could not remember. I asked my son how he knew this was an angel, and he said that he just knew. I guess I didn't believe him so I asked him again on several different occasions during the next few weeks until it was obvious that I was getting on his nerves about it. He told me a few times "because I know mommy, okay? I just know." I didn't want to harass him with it anymore so I just left it alone. Then I asked him about it one more time but instead of asking him how he knew it was an angel, I asked him how he knew it wasn't Jesus. He said to me very sarcastically, "because mommy, she had boobies under her gown, Jesus wouldn't have boobies, now would he?".

He also told me that she had a pretty voice. I'm sure he experienced more than he was able to tell me at the time, and now that he's able to describe situations better, he says he doesn't remember any of it. I do bring it up ever so often but I let him choose whether he wants to discuss it or not. I hope my prodding back then didn't cause him to clam up about it, he doesn't seem uncomfortable when it's bought up so maybe he honestly doesn't remember. If that's the case, I hope he does eventually.

If anyone has any information on this angel named Elizabeth, or any kind of research on the different outcomes of Jesus NDE's and angel NDE's, or the EKMO, please let me know. Thank you very much and God bless you.

View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous ( - on Monday, February 25, 2002 - 02:28 pm:

I had in a lucid sober state swallowed 48 paracetamol/asprin tablets with a glass of milk, I took as many as I could until I felt I would vomit if I took any more, I locked the door, shut the cats out of my bedroom, and lay on my bed to die. I fell asleep almost immediately and sometime later became aware of standing with my dead fiancée, I was aware of a brightly lit clearing surrounded by trees which we were walking out of, towards my bed, I was aware I was in the bed and could see myself, I looked back towards my fiancée asking yet not speaking why I had to go, without speaking he conveyed to me it was not yet my time, he put his hand on the bedroom door and opened it, suddenly I was laying on the bed, the forest had faded, I looked towards the door he was still there, I reached out my hand to him begging him not to go, he shook his head, looking at me with sympathy and love held out his hand and slipped out of the door, I then became aware of my cat entering the room through the open door and realized he must have been here, because the cat could not open the door. A strange sense of calm was with me and a strong urge to go to my mothers, I walked 11/2 miles to my mothers house at 2 am, and calmly told her what I had done, but not to worry, I was not dead and had no intention of trying again. My parents called an ambulance, I had to be carried as I could not walk by this time, on arrival at the hospital I was given a drink to make me vomit but we were told it was only a precaution since I had taken the tablets at least 5 hours previously. After a day in hospital I was allowed home, there was no organ damage but I was quite unwell for 2 weeks. After this experience I was still depressed and missing my fiancée who had died suddenly at 21 3 months previously, however I felt an inner calm, a sense that I had to go on whether I wanted to or not because it would be fine in the end. I still love him and miss him but after that night I know there is more to life. I have changed in that I am more interested in spiritual topics and search for knowledge on the internet and through books.

View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous ( - on Monday, February 25, 2002 - 02:25 pm:

After an emergency surgery from which I was bleeding to death (the doctor had cut an artery) I was put to bed, fastened down and too weak to move, I somehow knew I had to draw attention to myself as something told me I was dying. My body floated out of the bed to the ceiling and I held their looking down on my body on the floor. No fear, just waiting for someone to find me and get me help. The nurses found me there on the floor, took me back to surgery and operated on me again to find the cut artery. The rails were up on the bed and was too weak to get myself out of bed. It was a very calming feeling and not the least frightening as knew it would be all right.*

View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous ( - on Monday, February 25, 2002 - 02:23 pm:

I have been dead twice. Both times were related to what is called a Vagel response to anesthesia. Concerning my spiritual background I am a christian, meaning that I am Born Again. I received my salvation (I was Born Again) in 1980 when I was fifteen years old. I received the baptism of the Holy Spirit in 1991 when I was 27 years old. If you aren't familiar with this, the baptism with the Holy Spirit is available to anyone who accepts Jesus as Lord and Savior and is Born Again. Examples of this are in the Book of Acts. When one is filled with the Holy Spirit it is evidenced by speaking in other tongues. I currently serve in a Full Gospel church as a deacon, Sunday school teacher, and head usher. The first time I died was June 4, 1982.I was eighteen. This was following the sixth surgery I had in my life,and the second surgery within a six day period.I had been through the surgery and was in the recovery room. I remember becoming alert and awake to the fact that I was floating up out of my body. All I could see was a darkness, but not like one would normally see. I don't have a way to explain it in words, but it is unique.I was moving up when I felt someone hit my chest twice. The unusual thing was that when they hit my chest it was behind me. It was if their hands went through me to hit my chest, which was behind me. I stopped moving upward, slid horizontally in the direction of my head, then dropped back down into the area of my mouth and nose. Then I slid horizontally towards my feet and went back to sleep. I am not aware of any side effects from this occurrence. My sternum was extremely sore where they had hit
my chest to start my heart. Unfortunately, being eighteen I didn't think about getting the records from the hospital to see what they recorded as to what had happened. For a long time after that I thought that I had not been correct in my recollections about what had happened. I thought that it was strange that when I came back that I dropped down basically through my mouth and nostril area and then slid back into my body. However, several years after this happened, I was listening to Pastor Fredrick K. C. Price, and he was talking about how God created man. He pointed out in Genesis 2:7 that God breathed life into Adam's nostrils, meaning that the spirit of man entered Adam through his nostrils. He also showed that the way to receive the Holy Spirit following the New Birth is by drinking,meaning that you need to have your mouth open for the Holy Spirit to enter. This completely answered my questions as to what had happened,and after this point I no longer questioned the way I came back into my body. The second time was October 15, 1998. I had an attempted vasectomy in August 1998 in a doctor's office, but due to complications the doctor was unable to perform the procedure in the office under local anesthesia. It was determined that an urologist would have to perform the procedure. I consulted an urologist, and he decided that it would be best to perform the surgery in the hospital where he could open me up and actually see the structures for the procedure. The surgery was to be performed on an outpatient basis. When I spoke with the anesthesiologist about the procedure I informed him about the problem that occurred in 1982. He did not seem concerned. He felt that it was what is called a Vagel response, and that it was a one-time occurrence. We discussed my options - either using general anesthesia or a spinal. I did not want to have a spinal and be awake during the procedure,so I decided to have general anesthesia. This was fine with the anesthesiologist, so that is how we proceeded. I went to the operating room and was anesthetized. I woke up in the recovery room. I was relieved when I woke up and realized that I hadn't had any problems this time. I felt that I was out of danger. When it was felt that I was alert enough, the nurse had me get up and move to the other gurney/chair that they use for outpatients prior to discharge. They moved me to the outpatient center to wake up more prior to discharge. I kept going in and out of sleep as one does following general anesthesia. The nurse began going over the discharge instructions with my wife at the desk, which was right by my location.I was very tired, so I rolled onto my side and went back to sleep. The next thing I remember is being very alert. I heard my wife and the nurse yelling at me to breath. I couldn't figure out why they were telling me to breath. My wife was very frantic, and I thought something was wrong with her. I felt someone pick up my left arm and take my pulse,then drop my arm back to the gurney. After this I started moving upward into a dark place. I noticed that the darkness was unusual, and I did remember seeing it once before. However, I could not remember where I had seen it. You could describe it as moving in a dark tunnel. Probably a better comparison would be to a cave. I was once in Jewel Cave when they turned out the lights, but still the darkness is different. I continued moving upward for a period of time, but I don't know how long. I remember thinking about hearing my wife's voice and I was concerned. She seemed like she was in trouble due to the distress in her voice, and I wanted to help her. I will try to describe what I can of what happened next. Unfortunately I don't remember everything as I would like to, and that is one thing that currently bothers me. I wish I could remember more.I remember I was standing in a pasture area. There was grass and hills. I remember that things looked different than they do here on Earth. I saw people there, and they were walking in the pasture and the surrounding area. I believe that they were wearing white robes. However, the white robes where shiny, much brighter than what one would see here on Earth. God's Word describes such robes in Revelation 3:4-5, 7:9, and 7:14. The unusual thing is that I know that these people were Christians who had died. I don't know how I knew it. I don't know if I recognized some of them or if it was by the Spirit that I knew they were deceased.I turned to my right to see what was in that direction. As I looked, a man who was smiliar to me walked by. He stopped and said something to me. I wish I could remember what it was he said, but I can't. However, I believe I did recognize him. His name was Terrance. He had come
to our church a while earlier. When he first came to the church, it was during a service and I met him by the door. He was having difficulty breathing and had trouble walking. He smelled of alcohol.Through the next few weeks he started coming to church. He was a former law enforcement officer who was disabled. He was a Roman Catholic, but he started going to other churches because he wanted to find out about the New Birth and how to receive it. Within a few short weeks of being ministered to at the church he received Jesus as his Lord and Savior and was Born Again. However, about a month after that he died. Now here he was speaking to me. I remember thinking that this can't be real because he was dead, so maybe that is why I disregarded what he said to me. He walked on, then another man came by and said something to me, but I can't remember what. I then turned to my left and started walking forward to explore these surroundings. All this time I kept thinking about my wife and wondering why she was so distressed. I couldn't figure out what had happened to her. After a short time of exploring I suddenly found myself back in the "tunnel", but this time I was going backwards. I thought to myself, "Here I am in this darkness again." It bothered me that I had seen this before, but couldn't remember where. It was only later that I realized that I had seen it when I died in 1982. I continued backwards in this darkness for a while, and then I started to hear voices behind me. They were about 15 feet or so behind me. Later I realized that I was horizontal when I came back, so they would have been about 15 feet below me. The voices came closer and closer to me. Then the voices were parallel with my ears, then they were in front of me speaking down to me. I had actually been coming back down into my body from above, so I was hearing the voices change position as I was going back into my body. I was back into my body, and it seemed as though everyone was yelling at me. I remember a male voice telling me, "Breath, Craig, breath. Keep breathing." I couldn't move. I tried very hard to move, but couldn't. I decided to try to move my right hand, so I concentrated on that. I finally got that to move a little. Then I tried to open my eyes. I finally got them to flicker open for a brief moment, but they felt like lead. People kept talking to me, and I could hear other voices in the area, but not my wife's voice. I finally got my eyes open more. I could see a lot of people standing around me. I was having a terrible time breathing. I couldn't breath automatically. I had to think to take each breath, and it was an absolutely terrible feeling. I tried to get up off of the bed, but the doctor's pushed me back down. I then asked where my wife was, and they said she was safe. (They had pulled her out of the area so that she wouldn't have to watch what was going on as they tried to revive me.) The anesthesiologist was there, and he told the emergency room doctor who responded to the code blue that I had experienced another Vagel response. They quickly moved me out of the outpatient area and moved me to a room by a nurses station where they could keep a closer eye on me. For the next 45 minutes I had to think to breath. I remember trying to go to sleep once, but was awakened by alarms. They would monitor my blood oxygen level. I would fall asleep and stop breathing. My blood oxygen level would fall to 70%, and the alarms would go off. They kept me over night for observation and to see if I had suffered any brain damage. I ordered a copy of the medical records from the hospital.I did this because I wanted to see what had happened and if I could determine how long I was dead. I also wanted to have the information for any doctors in the future who may want to look at it to determine what is causing the problem and if I would be able to have general anesthesia again if I had any further surgery. The records for the incident show the first entry documenting my pulse as 0 and my respirations as 2. The next entry is four minutes later, and basically says that the doctors had arrived. The next entry is two minutes following and shows my pulse and respiration. The total time of death was between five and six minutes. I have had several problems following this incident. The first was that I pain for a long period of time in my sternum area from the long period of CPR that was performed on me. The other wasn't obvious at first. I have been experiencing depression since this occurred. Sometimes it gets more intense, but it seems to always be there to some extent. It got worse after the shootings at Columbine, and subsided after a couple of months. I have also had some of the other symptoms discussed on the IANDS Web site. The depression I believe is related to having to come back. Twice I have been dead, and twice the doctors have brought me back. I sometimes joke to people that I feel like a tennis ball.I know, being a Christian, that I will go to heaven to be with the Lord whether it is through death or at His second coming. I have often wondered about what is going on in heaven right now, and what we will be doing for eternity. I believe what really bothers me is that I finally made it the second time, and I didn't even realize what had happened so that I could take advantage of my time there. I wish I had more time to explore. It also bothers me that I can't remember what the people said to me. I know that coming back to Earth is depressing. First I had to deal with my body when I returned. I couldn't breath normally for 45 minutes or so, and I had to deliberately take each breath. It was the most miserable experience of my life. I'm also not happy here. A lot of things don't hold any enjoyment for me anymore. I get bored very easily. I do have a wife and kids who need me, and I do love them dearly. My wife says she would have been devastated if I had left permanently. I also have a lot of work I do at the church. I know that I have been able to teach a lot of people from the Word of God about salvation through Jesus Christ and how to live a life of faith. I have seen wonderful things, such as people receiving their salvation, repenting from sin, receiving healing for their bodies and being filled with the Holy Spirit. Yet I get really frustrated because people do not listen to the gospel. They do not realize what danger they are in if they do not accept Jesus as Savior and receive the New Birth. There is a hell, too. God's Word says so. I also met a Christian man several years ago who went there while backslidden and was warned that he was going there if he didn't repent and come back to the Lord. People do not understand that they will go into hell regardless of their works, and that they need a Savior to be able to have eternal life. I see the futility of seeking after money, power, sex, fame and the other idols that people set up in this life. I see the darkness of religions around the world. Religion will not save people - it is only a personal relationship with God through Jesus that will bring the New Birth and save them. The recent events of September 11, 2001 shows that religion won't save people. The people who perpetrated that act were religious, but they weren't saved. They remain in their sin and hatred and perpetrate terrible acts against others. I believe that this is why I get so frustrated and depressed. I know what being a New Creation in Christ Jesus is like, what it is like to be a child of God. I know what heaven is like. I wish people would listen to the gospel and respond. One good thing that has come out of these experiences is that I am able to use it when witnessing to people. A lot of people want to hear about what I have been through, and I have been able to tell them about Jesus as Savior. Christians also like to hear about it because they have a curiosity about what happens when a person dies.

View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous ( - on Monday, February 25, 2002 - 01:58 pm:

My first year of college and my first cross-country race-it was hot, very hot about 106 at 2:45 in the afternoon. The race starts and I take the lead and I start racing the top runner from the other school. It was a four mile race, and about 3 miles I feel I'm losing touch with reality. I really can't hear the people cheering me I lose touch with everyone. I'm in my own little world. My coach later says I won the race but I don't remember. I do remember that when I stopped running I passed out. This is where weird experiences starts. When I passed out my life passed before me. At 18 years old I didn't have a long life but It was strange, people from that day and back started flashing before the eyes of my mind, it went all the way back to when I was born. Next thing I knew I was in pain, horrible pain. I was falling in a dark, dark tunnel. I was trying to slow my decent by trying to touch the sides of the tunnel but I couldn't touch the sides. Never in my conscious state or subconscious state did I ever feel the fear that I felt in that tunnel. It felt like eternity, I felt that I was going
to spend eternity in that tunnel with this pain that its so hard to put into words. I thought I was in hell or going there. In this state I felt no sense of time. Time did not exist. According to my coach I was out for about 20 minutes. I felt that in that 20 minutes that It was 1000 years. As I was falling deeper and deeper in this Hole Of Pain, the pain was getting more intense. The further I fell the pain was intensifying. It was horrific. I thought I was dead and I thought what did I do in my life to deserve such a fate. Was my life to that point so bad? No I never hurt anyone to my knowledge? Why me I screamed at the top of my lungs and crying because of the pain? At the moment I couldn't take any more pain I call and prayed to Jesus to save me from this torment. At that moment I called for his help, the decent started to slow and in moments I stopped. Next thing I knew I started to ascend. As I started to ascend the pain started to decreased and then I started to see A light that I have never seen to all my light so bright and healing and yet It did not blind me. As I started to go towards the light, it started to heal me. It was taking the hurt out of my body. I wanted to go straight into the light. I wasn't afraid of it. The bright light felt so good it was healing me and making me unafraid. AT the same moment I was above my body and my coach had his hands in his face. I saw myself down there. I didn't want to go back to my body I wanted to go to this beautiful healing light. But I couldn't. I was told that I couldn't go to that light yet. I had to go back to my body. I pleaded no, but I was told again to go back to my body and I went back knowing that I would be seeing that light again.

View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous ( - on Monday, February 25, 2002 - 01:55 pm:

I had surgery a week before giving birth to a son. I was told I had 50-50 chance to survive. I was always a positive thinking person[you know,"an ant can move a rubber tree plant]. As someone placed a mask over my face and told me to breath slowly, I felt myself go under[this was my 4th baby]. Then I realized I was listening to the nurses and doctors speaking about taking there lunch. The Doctor was talking to someone about where he was going to play golf. The next thing was the nurse mentioning the monitor, and saying "we're loosing this one", and hearing nneeeeeeeeeeee! and realizing that it was machine and I was above myself and the person working the mask. I said, I'm here..I'M HERE! and then it became black, and then, as if I was on one end of funnel/tunnel. It seemed to be narrower on my end...that opened out to a light...and in that light I could see figures, a main figure, with other figures on either side. It wasn't as if their arms were out-stretched ...but the feeling...of beckoning me. It was a comfortable and not fearful feeling. And then something came over me, and I stopped myself...and said. I can't come now[but I wanted to], I can't come yet[as I heard a baby in the distance]. The next thing I was the next day. No one would speak to me about it and finally the head nurse came, and said there would be someone to come and speak to me tomorrow, if I insisted, and I did. I was a bit of a mouse back then, but the feeling was so over whelming, that I DEMANDED to speak to someone. The next day a woman came and explained that it was my imagination. This was September 22, 1971, The feeling has never left me, and twice after that I experienced out-of- frightened me, as I was responsible for 4 children and was afraid I might wake up and find myself to I might not be able to return to my body. I had no experience with these matters. it just happened, and I had no one to speak to about it. My family always repressed their ESP gifts...and I never pursued it...just took it for granted. Some times I would think of my mother for 3 days and then call her...she would say" what took you so long, I have been waiting for you to call for 2 days now". I lived 600 miles away. It was kind of a game as to who was going to pay for the phone call. My husband at the time was from a background of Welsh/Irish, and Pennsylvania Dutch...and also had this gift. He was in the military, and we were separated. I was under a lot of stress then and for most of a week I kept thinking how much I needed him. By the week-end he showed up unannounced....said he felt he should come. These things have happened all the time in my life. My second marriage was not the same. My husband was uncomfortable with what I call my gift. My oldest daughter has it, but suppressed it, my 5th child also a daughter has it. The worst time...for about 6 weeks I had the strangest feeling that some thing was going to happen to my children [my 5th child was 6,twins-2 yrs., and a 6 mo. old. After 4 weeks, I was so upset, I was checking them all the time, and cross with my husband for not being more careful with them. He came home one day, and said he had news from Belgium and it wasn't good. That it was about his cousin's 9 month old...I said, "she's dead"...and he just stopped on the stairs, and sat down on the step, and said, "will you stop that, I can't stand it". I asked him what the news was, and he said I was right...she had a blocked bowel, and they didn't operate in time.
At that moment I felt relief, because I knew that my feelings were correct, just not in the right place. Their baby had been sick for over a month. All my life I have had these feelings, but I always miss the mark. I will have a feeling about something...and it will be a man, instead of a woman. Or it will be someone close to me...instead of me.
This is the first time I have reached out to anyone about this matter. I am new to the computer.

View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous ( - on Tuesday, February 5, 2002 - 01:18 pm:

The Near-Death Experience [NDE] -- of which I've had a few -- mainly occurred at a time when NDE's were rarely documented, much less talked about. It was something I could only talk about with certain individuals, who were already spiritually aware...or, at least, receptive. Yet, it still happened that, on occasion, one would accuse me of having had a hallucination, because ignorance was still so prevalent at that time. In recent years, however, the NDE has been not only talked about, but has also been documented and has received widespread media interest. Scientists, physicians, psychologists, ministers and mystics, etc., have all congregated together to obtain a deeper understanding of the phenomenon of the NDE. It is something that many people -- such as myself -- have been through; and we have been called back to teach and share our experiences with others. By all rights, one might wonder why so many of us have been brought back...while others remain on the Other side. This is mainly due to the fact that we were needed to fulfill and complete something significant in our own well as to honor a special mission to help humanity finally come to the realization that there is indeed no death. We simply 'move on' and continue to evolve in our journey back toward the Light. Since people are always inquiring, "What happened?" and "What's it like?" I will try to convey what happened to me that led to one of my NDE' well as what I experienced from the Other Side. Please excuse me if this doesn't fit into a tidy chronological order, as there is no such thing as linear time on the Other Side. Everything is always experienced in the now,including past and future. Herein, I will attempt to explain and recapture my experiences on the Other Side and how it affected me. I will humbly attempt to grasp the proper words for describing this most lofty experience that had a profound impact on me. THE EXPERIENCE In the mid-70's, I was dealing with a terminal disease, colon cancer, where my life was ebbing way until I finally lapsed into a coma in late December. As others observed that I was in a coma for five weeks, then thought dead, I was having a completely different experience! One would look at my body and think that I was unconscious...asleep...with no awareness of what was going on...or anything. Yet, I was very conscious and profoundly aware, because, in truth, we never really sleep; only our bodies do. We are always aware...and active...on one level of consciousness or another. Just the fact that we dream while asleep is an indication of our consciousness always being active. And, indeed, our bodies need to rest, so that we can tap into...and experience other aspects of our consciousness and being! The best way I can describe the transition from being 'alive' on the physical plane and the passage to the Other Side is like passing from one 'room' to another. You do not cease to be or lose consciousness; your consciousness simply shifts from one vantage point to another. The experience changes; your outlook changes; your feelings change. And the feelings were profound; for me, it most certainly became that peace that surpasses all understanding. My transition was gradual as a result of having a terminal disease, to a sudden one incurred from accidents, heart attacks, etc.What I experienced, then, was that, as the disease progressed, I got to a point where my consciousness was already making the transition from one realm to the other -- being more aware of other realities on other dimensions, etc. Therefore, I could no longer comprehend anything written on a page, for example, because it no longer meant anything to me in my changed state of consciousness. I had already departed from the third-dimensional realm for the most part...and my awareness enveloped other things. On the other hand, color and sound became more vivid...but, again, much of this was not involving the physical plane.As I progressed more and more in my 'crossing over', I was aware of being in a whole new realm; however, I never thought myself as being 'dead'! In fact,I felt more alive than ever! Now I was acutely aware of the divine Presence, the Creator...and spirit guides all round me. There was a profound realization of never being alone...and always being in communion with Spirit and other beings in this awesome and magnificent realm. The most profound aspect of the NDE, for me, was that of being completely enveloped in divine Love and also being totally free of fear! There was no question that Love was everywhere, that I was completely protected, safe and that everything would work out just as it should. There was never a feeling of being 'isolated' or alone. This was a special opportunity to experience being at one with the ALL -- never separate...and never at a loss. I knew -- with total certainty -- that everything was evolving exactly the way it should...and that the ultimate destiny for every living being is to return to the Source, The Light...Pure Love. At the age of twenty, I underwent what should have been a routine operation. But there were complications and I died on the operating table. My experience was that I felt myself drawn out of my body at tremendous speed. It was like being sucked up a tunnel. I found myself in the universe. This is the only way that I can describe what happened. I was a part of the universe. I could see the earth towards my right but there were many versions of it. They were all following one after the other, forming a circle, and they were in various stages of evolution. There was no beginning or end to time and they, (the earth), just seemed to be separate stages of one whole process. I was a part of the stars and although I did not have a physical body, I felt more real than ever before. This feeling has persisted in as much as I can recall it but not as intensely as the actual experience. It is as if I learnt how it feels to truly be alive as opposed to just existing. I also experienced a profound sense of love. The only way that I can describe this is that It was everything. This seems really inadequate but It was so intense that putting the experience into words just doesn't work. It is something that I felt so thoroughly that I just cant express the feeling in words. The whole thing was truly beautiful. I then heard a voice which came from a huge bright white light towards the left of me saying that it was not my time yet, that I had things to do and I felt myself pulled back. When I came round from the operation, I was told that I had died. I did not talk about my experience until I was studying for my first degree. A tutor began to talk about NDE's and I realized that I was not alone. This experience has changed my life and
most definitely for the better.

View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous ( - on Tuesday, February 5, 2002 - 01:07 pm:

I was in the intensive care unit with an acute case of blood poisoning. I had a large boil on my leg lanced to let the poison out, and instead all the staphylococcus bacteria entered my blood stream. I was delirious with a fever of 107 degrees Fahrenheit. I heard the nurse say "no blood pressure." I went unconscious. Suddenly I found myself in a boat, floating down a river in a jungle. In the background I could hear the most magnificent music I had ever heard. It was a jungle drum beat of incredible dimensions. I became very elated with its incessant melodic sounding rhythm. There were two paddlers steering the canoe and eight passengers. I was brimming over with delight. There was no feeling of pain or movement through the water. Then I came upon the distant shore. I was alone now. I do not remember stepping onto the shore. A radiant being in long white robes was there to greet me. I could not discern the sex of the being, or the face of the being. However the most incredible feeling of love surrounded me. It emanated from the being. We were communicating through mental telepathy. I have never experienced such joy. All of a sudden I was back in bed with incredible pain. Since that event which I hold to be absolutely true, I have had many revelations and visions. I also have ESP. My life is brimming with special meaning and I now have epilepsy asa result of that infection.

View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous ( - on Tuesday, February 5, 2002 - 01:04 pm:

On 04/29/01 I was slated to receive a Defibulator/Pacemaker for reasons of health. To do this procedure it is necessary to stop the patients heart and see if the individual really needs the device. My heart was stopped and I had no response to the Doctors attempts to restart my heart. CPR was immediately started, I was shocked with (2) sets of Defibulator Paddles a total of 720 jewels per attempt. The total attempts to restart were 15. I was pronounced dead and the room was cleared. I had been dead for over 30 minutes by this time. During this time I recall arriving in a beautiful completely strange world. Not through a tunnel or to a light I just was there. I remember thinking to myself "What did I do Now? - Where am I at - Am I dreaming" I recall blinking my eyes several times and all appeared real. The colors were vibrant and indescribable as I stood there I was standing in a field of knee high grass and standing on a knoll was my father and mother (Both Deceased).At this time I remember being delighted at the sight of them. I proceeded to climb the knoll. My father turned to me at this time and spoke to me (without moving his lips) and told me to go back!! I stopped and looked a he and my mother I asked him what did he say and he repeated in a stearn voice to "Go Back" I then asked him why and he said "You have to go back because it's not your time yet". I asked him how do I do that and he told me to just go down the hill. So I did.The next thing I recall is hearing a voice say "HEY HE'S GOT A EYE OPEN" at that point I had been dead between 30 and 45 minutes. I tried to get up and was forced down and I passed out. I woke up in intensive care and after I was aware of just what had happened to me. I realized my Mother and Father were dead and I had talked with them.I also had a strange ringing in my ears during my trip to the other side it wasn't until watching a medical show with the heart monitor emitting a constant ring that I realized just what that was.Long story short everyone was amazed that I wasn't brain dead which to this day I truely don't understand.

View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous ( - on Tuesday, February 5, 2002 - 01:01 pm:

I was in boot camp at the time, we had been given a series of shots that day. In the evening I began to hyperventilate, the ambulance was called. In the ambulance I quit breathing, I was aware of this and tried to talk myself into "not holding my breath". I felt like I should have been able to start breathing when it dawned on me "WOW! I don't HAVE to breath anymore." I was surrounded by a darkness I could see, but I was not really in this darkness. I felt a great sense of Serenity, a feeling which mere words have no way of expressing.

The next thing I remember is sitting in a wheelchair in the emergency waiting room and I had this dull ache in my chest. There was no documentation of this situation in the ambulance. I can only deduce that I quit breathing long enough for my heart to stop and the ambulance crew gave me a thump, which probably was enough to start me back up. I can only speculate as to this being a "Clinical death" due to the extensive reading I have done on the subject.

I know what happened was an NDE, I do not fear death, I know that when my time comes I shall "Cross over" I believe that all things happen for a reason, I do not believe anything is random in this Universe, Miracles occur often and yet, many people sadly do not recognize them. I rely upon my inner voice more often than I do of reason & logic, I have an unwavering faith in GOD, and he takes care of me, I am truly blessed. I have experienced many, many things which have a Divine explanation as the only plausible explanation. I have an increased Physic awareness, telepathic & clairvoyant. I do not go to church, yet feel a very deep spiritual connection to the Universe & God. I have been in situations where my experiences in life enable me to help others. I know "You reap what you sow" is true. No purpose in Life is too small or insignificant in God's eyes.

View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous ( - on Tuesday, February 5, 2002 - 12:52 pm:

I was with my partner at the time and we had been going through difficulties I had felt this strong sense of loss and that I felt that something was calling me. I then ended up taking chloroform. I could feel the effects straight away this creeping relaxing feeling and the sensation of me slipping out of something that felt like prison. I could remember being in the hospital on the ceiling watching all these doctors and nurses attending to me. I could also hear my mum and brother talking to me asking me why this had happened. it felt warm and radiant like some one was with me at this time and the were conveying a feeling of peace and love that was something I had never ever felt before. in no time I was traveling down this tunnel with beings on either side it felt like I knew them all and they were talking to me asking me how I am and what had been going on in my life. they also showed me something that I could not recall but it felt familiar. after a while with them I was called towards the light and I felt so overwhelmingly loving, peaceful and knowing. I was asked a series of questions and given information about things by an angel with a staff and dressed in warrior outfit, resembling an African chief and then a decision was made that it was not my time and that I had a mission to fulfill and that I will return. I cannot remember anything after that. I woke up in the same bed in intensive care and was told that I had died and was kept alive via a ventilator and I had been unconscious for 1 week. Since that time I have had flash backs and been aware that there are spirit guides around protecting me and guiding me. I also have this string sense that there was a vision of some sort given to me because it like I've been on this sacred mission regarding utilizing this experience to empower people and tell the world about the realms of the spirit and their advice and guidance for the human population, especially with the young people

View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous ( - on Tuesday, February 5, 2002 - 12:44 pm:

I was hit buy a train while driving, pulled 510 feet down the tracks,pronounced dead by the Medics from the ambulance(15 min after the wreck). I was gone for at least 25 min. I heard a clunk, looked over and saw the train hit the car on my side. I flew though a tunnel of bluish white light and came up to an edge where I stood(?) and looked out over all the souls that ever were or will be. The figure closest to me let me know that I had a choice as to whether I stayed or not, but that is was not my time. There was a sense of being there forever and only a moment. Time had no beginning or end, it was all just now.I chose to return and when I did it was as if I were a drinking glass that was almost full when I came and as I got there the glass grew and grew until it was as big as the universe with all the knowledge in it to fill it to the brim. When I returned the glass got smaller and some of what was in it leaked out until it was normal size again but with a mix of all that knowledge in it. I felt like I got lots of help coming back, like souls riding along steering me and aiding me. I cam back and hovered over the car and train. I could see all the people on the road and in their cars. Then I was pulled back into my self and pulled the sheet off my head, turned and ask them what they were doing and how was my Mom(she was in the car, multiple broken bones, comma for two weeks) they got very excited, a couple of them fainted, and told me they could not get the train off me. The coupler was on the door and the door was on me. I told them to get the tie down chains off the Rose Logging Truck and tie the car to the tracks and back the train off.
They did after some discussion about my legs. I Said, "What are you going to do, hurt me?" and so off came the train. The door popped up and they were able to get me out. All I got was bad cuts on my left arm from the door, a large piece of glass through my right hand between the thumb and finger, and my legs bent backwards at the knees. They said I wouldn't walk for a few months, I walked that night. This was a Saturday, I was back in school on Tues. I have had two more NDE's since then. On the operating table( very similar to the first one) and after the surgery,. They had nicked the bowel and ripped the plura and I got an ecoli infection in my lung cavity. I suffocated and died, got up and walked out and watch. They cut me open and put in tubes as I woke up screaming.

View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous ( - on Tuesday, February 5, 2002 - 12:40 pm:

As soon as our son was born I felt myself drifting into a deep blackness. A black void. I found myself fighting with everything I had to come back. This fight inside me was incredibly powerful. Somewhere amongst this experience I saw Matthew John telexed across my forehead vividly clear. The next thing I remember was the nurse's placing ice all over my body and my head swaying uncontrollably backwards and forwards. When I came too all I could say was can we call him Matthew John. Hence that is what we called our son. We had four sets of names picked out for him prior to the birth.

View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous ( - on Tuesday, February 5, 2002 - 12:39 pm:

I was very ill, due to a medication reaction. I did not have a religious belief system at the time, but was so sick I prayed that if there was a God, I wanted him to take me if he wasn't going to make me better. My mother and sister were taking care of me round the clock, the major systems in my body were failing me, and I couldn't stand to see my mother worrying about me anymore. Two days later at 4:00 a.m. I was in bed with my boyfriend at the time, he was lying behind me and I had a small light on in the bedroom. I was awakened by a man's voice, it was loud but soft gentle but strong, nurturing kind and loving, and it got my attention. I noticed that I no longer felt the illness, I felt completely well, and there were all good emotions. The voice said, "It's time to go, Lynne". I felt love, overwhelming love as when my mother hugs me, I felt peace and goodness, and all things Over whelming positive. I felt like I was no longer myself, I felt like I was everything, and felt drawn to others that were with the voice, I felt a floating and being drawn and an overwhelming desire to be with all things positive, I felt safe and it felt like time stood still, there was no concept of time. I needed the voice and whatever was with it calling to me to be whole, I then in an instant drew my attention to unfinished things, I had just met my boyfriend less than a year before and I felt he needed me, and just like that I came back to this world, the illness was back as strong as before, and I jumped out of bed and said "It's not time to go, it's not time to go". My boyfriend was awakened by this, and I told him what happened, and he said it was a
dream, but I knew it wasn't. He later told me that he believed me but just wanted me to calm, because I was so upset by the event. He told me about a vision he had of his mother who had died and came to visit his son after he was born, he knows that what he saw was his mother as an angel, and believes that if this at happened, then it definitely happened to me. Two years ago, two days before my father passed away, at 4:00 a.m. I awakened to see a man beside my bed sitting in a chair watching me. I thought it was a shadow or a light playing tricks on me, but as soon as I thought that he shifted in his chair so I knew it was real. I layed there on my side looking at him and he at me. I do not know who he was, I finally got kind of spooked about it and rolled over in bed and held onto my husband, who is the same man that was my boyfriend who was with me during my experience 4 years ago. Since my experiences, I have had great difficulty with dealing with everyday life. I am sensitive to the smallest things, I have been more aware of my senses, and they are overwhelming to me. I feel like I am so small, like I don't belong here in this shell. During my experience I felt like I became everything, like I was a part of every object around including the light, I was everywhere, and when I came back, I was thrown back into this small shell, and I'm missing something. I am more aware of the bad and evil around and they bother me tremendously, I have difficulty sleeping, noises bother me, light bothers me, darkness bothers me, injustices trouble me, smells are sometimes overwhelming to me. I get dizzy and disoriented for no reason. I feel that I have a purpose here and want so much to be at peace but I can't find my way. I am thankful that I can say there is no end that there is life afterwards, but I want so very much to be able to be alive here. I just feel like I am existing, not living. My injuries heal slower if not at all. I finally got over the medication reaction and my body finally got near normal, but I was injured at work in February of 2000 and still have not recovered from it. I have myofascial pain disorder, and pain is intensified, and doesn't go away

View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous ( - on Wednesday, January 23, 2002 - 11:35 am:

Experience Narrative:
I had an abortion. During the procedure I heard my 2-month-old fetus scream as it died. I was left by myself after the procedure, where I bled profusely. I found myself watching from the ceiling. Then I was sucked over the city into this black hole where I fell for a long time. As I went down the hole, I passed horrible goulish looking creatures that were chained to the walls. They were laughing evilly at me and it felt as if I were being torn apart in the very depths of my soul with each laugh. Finally I reached the bottom of the hole. There were snakes on the ground, and caves you could go into. Each cave entrance had a blast of heat and an orange glow like there was fire in the caves. Suddenly a snake the size around of a house passed me. I screamed "God Help Me!" A large white hand came down the hole and picked me up. It put my soul back together with the most unimaginable feeling of love and forgiveness. Next thing I know, I am back on the ceiling watching the nurse push on my chest to bring me back. After this ordeal, I have had 3 other afterlife experiences. Each of these have been tunnels of light, love, and family members. Through the years I have had visions of the future, knowledge and understanding of events in my life, and a growing attenuation or tuning into a spiritual world that is all around us. I have changed immensely, and as I tune further in, I continue to change to please my Lord.

View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous ( - on Wednesday, January 23, 2002 - 11:31 am:

Experience Narrative:
I was on a table when my first awareness was of opening my eyes. The light was the most brilliant white light I had ever seen. I assumed it was a surgery light but it was so bright I could see nothing else, however, there was no pain in my eyes because of the brightness. I kept my eyes open even though I could see nothing but the light. I then heard voices, a female voice. Clearly she was in a hurried state, calling to a physician at my left side of head. She kept saying he should hurry as "we are losing him" I could clearly hear the doctor saying he was hurrying as fast as he could. He kept saying "he was not there yet" This went on for a minute or so and the nurse started stating I was going. The doctor said "the veins are too flat, I cannot open it." His voice seemed panicked and I remember saying aloud "don't worry, take your time, I do not hurt". He seemed unaware of me talking. He kept repeating "it's too flat, it won't open" I did not sense any pain, not even pressure, just the light, the stress in their voices, but I felt extremely tranquil. When I did awake, two days later, my wife was able to tell me what happened. The night before the event I had vomited blood, huge amounts of old reddish black blood. In the morning my wife could see I was very ill, although I did not admit. I protested going to the doctors office and only when my elder son promised to physically take me did I relent. We drove to the doctor's office and entered the front. All events prior this are only vaguely remembered by me. According to my wife I collapsed just inside the door and was taken to an exam room. I had virtually no pulse or blood pressure and they started IV fluids and called 911. At the hospital she was not allowed to follow me. She said the doctors would come out about every hour or so and told her I was extremely critical and with a massive amount of blood loss, internally, and I was going into irreversible shock, but as long as I was alive they would keep trying various treatments. This is where I found out that the doctor I heard was a vascular surgeon trying to open my carotid vein to put a "pic" line in. It was so they could start large amounts of fluids and the best spot was the neck carotid vein. They started four bags of fluids of which she was not sure of the types. The room was a highly sophisticated critical room where I could be operated on along with other various treatments. For two days she was only allowed in for short periods and it was hard for me to realize I had been there four days. I told her of what I saw, heard and felt. She said it was not possible as my eyes were taped shut and I could not have spoken as I was intubated. Also there was no such light in the room. I asked if I had surgery on my neck and this is how I learned what they had to do. By losing so much blood my extremity veins were closing to keep blood in my brain. It was worse than they thought as my neck veins were closed so flat the surgeon took about thirty minutes to open my neck and carotid to enable fluids to start. On the third day the breathing tube was removed and I was weaned from the respirator. It would be impossible for me to talk as I remembered because the tube blocked the vocal chords. During the first two days they ran many tests. On about my seventh day I was told I must have fallen and struck an object that bruised the lower tip of my heart and the lower lobe of my liver which began bleeding. The blood pooled and was passed into my stomach, which caused the vomiting. The day I was discharged the "pic" line was removed from my neck. Then I saw it and it was a little over a foot long and was put directly in my heart. While my health has not really Improved I am currently being tested for Meloyma. I have chosen, if diagnosed, that I will not have chemotherapy. I am in great pain from multiple serious steno tic areas on my spine that is slowly shutting down my bladder, legs, and am semi-incontinent from loss of sensation. strangely I am not afraid, the light, while not a euphoric light, was still one of calmness and peace. It is now approaching the one year mark and I only revealed to my wife that while my memory of the first day was weak, the day before, the day of the "fall", I vividly remember that I had NOT fallen as they said. The hemorrhaging was very real but I do not know how. Perhaps it might be a precursor of my possible condition now. I think this was a NDE, I would need more experienced opinions to see if it qualifies. An after thought, there were three events as an adolescent that I was told I was about as close to death as possible but I have no memory of anything like this. A fall from a three story building at age ten, as a pedestrian I was hit and thrown thirty feet by a car at age eight, and Spinal Meningitis at five. I do not feel invulnerable; none of these events was my "time"

View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous ( - on Wednesday, January 23, 2002 - 11:18 am:

Experience Narrative:
I experienced a series of seven heart attacks over a period of 5 weeks in 1998, some more severe than others. During the sixth and whist I was hospitalized, I had an experience that left a lasting impression and about which I have spoken to very few people and then not in detail.I am convinced that there IS a white light, extremely bright but not painful. The feeling of peace is overwhelming. Overall. If that is dying then it is nothing to be worried about. I had no experience of leaving the body but having read about some accounts that cannot be explained I would not doubt the claims. Immediately after the experience I was extremely emotional. Watching a television debate on this subject and in which people ridiculed the idea of such experiences reduced me to tears. I have now had surgery for my condition and am perfectly healthy. The xperiences are still vivid in my mind and are something that I will never forget.

View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous ( - on Wednesday, January 23, 2002 - 11:15 am:

ALMOST ALL of those futures I saw have been taken out of my memory. I know I saw them, but what I saw is hidden somewhere. Not all, though, and some of the things I remember showed what would happen if I made certain choices. I was married at the time, and her and I were not doing so well, and I saw how many different futures would be depending on the choices I made with my wife. I saw how it would be better for me, and better for what I needed to do, if I were to stay with her, and not separate. I don't want to talk about the other things I saw, in my life- and past it- right now, but maybe later. But then I was back with the three light beings. They wanted to know if I understood what I saw. Yes, I did. I felt AT HOME in that place of light, and felt FREE and STRONG, like I had never felt here. So, I asked the light beings if I could see more. They said that there was something special that I was supposed to do, that I would need to be shown certain things to be able to accomplish this certain thing. But also they said that its not "me", its just my path. Everyone is special, and I am not any better or any worse. They said that the light loves us all, but we all have different paths. WE ARE ALL SPECIAL. And yes, they had more to show me.
I was then taken to a place that had a feeling a lot like the "life review" session. I remember being taken to a "boundary" and with these light beings we went through it. It was almost like a wall of light that had texture and substance, and felt thick. We passed through it and then were moving through the universe. I was taken to a place high above the earth, and with these light beings, we watched. They showed me things about our history as a people, things about different
cultures and civilizations, things about different people AND ALWAYS it was from their perspective- feeling their feelings as if they were my own. I got to see how WE ALL ARE REALLY CONNECTED!!! They showed me lots of things from the Bible, and what these things mean. They showed me hell, and its not the hell that most people think. In fact, there is NOT a real hell, there is no-one with a pitch-fork, or someplace where bad people burn for eternity. What there is, though, and what hell there is.... IS A LACK OF GOD. It was really important to these light beings that I see this. I don't quite know why. But I saw how when someone dies, they might be too attached to this place to accept the beauty of God, so they never go towards the light. They get stuck "in-between", not accepting God, and the light. God would NOT reject any of us NO MATTER WHAT WE DID. He couldn't reject us just like we couldn't cut off! our own toe, or arm, or poke out our own eye. I saw how we are all part of God and the light, and how "he" is a part of everyone of us. The only hell that we have to fear is a hell of our own creation, by not living with light in our hearts. I also saw how everyone on this planet is accepted by God. Its not based on your specific religious preference. And, how ANY of us can have an NDE. In
fact, we all will at some point, at least when we die. We will all see. We all get our own day of Atonement (at-one-ment) when we die and meet the light. I also saw how each person is shown what he can understand when he has a near death experience. An oriental man might see oriental- looking people, a heavily religious Christian might see all the Biblical imagery, and beings that address themselves as familiar Biblical persons. I only saw light, though, as I didn't have a specific orientation that I needed to be addressed by. After that I found myself back in the pure light, still with the three light beings. I could tell that something was about to happen. I felt then that I had to go back. I felt the "pull" of this world on me, and the light beings said it was time. They told me that I had to go back, that it wasn't my time to stay, that I had things I needed to do. I didn't want to go! I told them that this was my home, that I wanted to stay and learn more, that I cant go back. I was feeling the other place again, and felt fear upon my heart. I told them that I was afraid, that I didn't have anyone for me, and I felt alone, and I wanted to stay in the light. They soothed me with their love, and it seemed almost as if they conferred, and they the one said let me show you something. This is why you have to go back. He turned me around and I saw specific excerpts from my future, things that had already been removed from my memory. He showed me exactly why I needed to go back to the physical world, and exactly what I would do and who I would touch. Then I found myself facing the three light beings again,KNOWING why I had to go back. BUT AGAIN THEY HAD TAKEN IT FROM MY MEMORY! I wasn't supposed to remember that yet. But I knew now I had something to do and was ready to go back and do it. Still, though, I felt afraid. I told them that I wasn't sure that I could do it. I didn't know if I could do what they needed me to go back for. They understood, and then the most beautiful thing of my experience happened. The powerful light being said, "we understand how you feel" and I was flooded with his compassion. Then he said "look" and gestured behind me. As I turned to look I saw many many light beings, countless light beings, what felt like all the light beings of heaven, stretched in row upon beautiful row, all the way to an endless light horizon. I became filled with their love, and support, and something inside my being changed. I felt it. And I watched them as darkness engulfed me. The next thing I knew I was lying back in the recovery room, still in great pain, still very cold, but starting to with a gasp of breath. I remember barely opening my eyes to see frantic nurses above me. I came too, but my vision was so present! The pain wasn't half as bad, and I felt stronger by far, and something else was different- I felt something in my heart. I wouldn't realize it until later, but the group of beings at the end had put something there that has changed me for good. I almost feel like I have a piece of Heaven in my heart now, and that opened it like a flower. Even now, more than seven years after my experience, I still feel the light in my
heart, and it just keeps growing. First thing I said when I came to and could speak was some mumbling about what I had seen. My (ex)wife was there, and she asked if I was OK. I said, "Yes, as long as I stay with you- they showed me!" and I mentioned a few more things about it. I probably sounded crazy to the nurses!!! So, now my life has changed- a lot. I feel that I have been given a wonderful gift, but I don't know what to do with it, or how to properly care for it. I am literally a different person, too, as I still have that "light piece" in my heart, and I often find that I can feel others feelings as though they were my own- just like in my life-review. I have tried, but have not succeeded, in living a "normal" life. I find myself drawn to helping all living things- people, animals, etc- and arguing with people about the meaning of things in the Bible. Its funny, too, because I didn't even own a Bible until two weeks ago, nor had I ever read any of it! Other things are different for me too, but they are harder to explain, many of then are profound. I feel that I need to reach out to people to share what I have seen, but don't know how, and most of the people I have talked to about my experience have either not taken it seriously, or could not understand it!

View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous ( - on Wednesday, January 23, 2002 - 11:00 am:

Experience Narrative:
I was in the recovery room after arthroscopy sinus surgery, and just starting to awaken from the anesthesia. Apparently, the nurses were not
informed that I have asthma, and they were not watching closely. I started to have an asthma attack, and no one noticed. I felt it as I was waking up, that I couldn't breathe. I was in GREAT GREAT physical pain, and couldn't draw a full breath, and it just got worse and worse until I finally couldn't draw a breath at all. My lungs were burning, my whole body was VERY cold (and later they said I had turned cold and blue by the time the nurses noticed me), and I felt pain throughout my whole being. Emotionally I was panicking inside, my mind was racing- trying to snap out of it- but I could not move, could not breathe.Then suddenly I felt myself "slip" away. There was no tunnel, no out of body experience. I was just GONE- gone from my body, I realized. The part that is TRULY me had left, and was somewhere else entirely, away from that recovery room. I was in a place of pure light, as if a warm, gentle, loving fog had enveloped me and was me, and contained all the beauty, strength, and security in the world (and out of it!). I felt ALL my pain, ALL my trauma disappear. As I tried to think about where I had just been, I found that I couldn't even remember what pain, suffering, anger, jealousy, ANYTHING negative felt like here. There was just a faint whisper of what bad things felt like that I could just barely remember. Then the light "fog" started to clear, and I realized I was in the presence of three "light" beings. They looked just like humanoid shapes that were comprised entirely of glowing light. The background was made of light too, it all was. There was kind of a "horizon" of sorts, and a "ground", but they were really just differing shades of light. And I was made of light too. The three light beings stood before me and welcomed me to this place. There was one that was greater, more powerful(?) than the other two. He did not name himself at that moment, but later I knew him to be Jesus. They did not welcome me so much with conscious communication, but with LOVE, Love as I had never known it. THE MOST INCREDIBLE LOVE. In it was complete acceptance, complete compassion, complete love. Love WITHOUT any fear, or negativity, or lies to taint it. In fact this WHOLE PLACE, I realized was made out of love, A love that is the most powerful force in the universe. I actually didn't feel myself to be a completely separate entity anymore, like I am now typing at this computer. I felt my consciousness separate from these other beings, yes, but I also felt myself to be a part of them and a part of this light place. The three beings moved close, and surrounded me, still in unbelievable love.
But I was about to learn, they told me, I was to see things I couldn't see in the "real" world. I must have asked to learn, or showed interest somehow, I don't know, but they said they were going to show me- and it would be hard, but they would be there. They told me I would review my life and that I would see, but that it would be special, I would see. And I was in complete acceptance. SURE I said, feeling SO strong in the light, so uplifted and perfect and pure. Next I knew I was by myself again. I was my grown self as I am now, but I was watching, LIVING, my life from a very young age. I was there, and could feel EVERYTHING, but I was still ME. It almost was as if I was watching a very complex hologram that showed the story of my life, where I was the hologram, but also watching from a third person perspective. I was not prepared for what happened next.... I felt everything. I felt my pain all over again. All the loneliness, fear, suffering that had been a part of my life, but all of the love too. Everything I had ever done, ever felt, ever had done to me, I relived there in that place. I felt it all, and I was OK, still feeling the light that I had just discovered; until I started feeling the feelings of others. I was now not just feeling my own feelings, but others feelings as if they were my own! Everytime I hurt someone I felt their pain as my own. Everytime I caused someone happiness I felt that as if it were my own. I got to see then how those people in turn, turned around and either spread the good feeling to someone else, or hurt someone with that pain I had given them. And then, I also felt their pain. I was overwhelmed. I started to falter, even the light I had in me wasn't able to hold up against this barrage of pain. I remembered crying out. Please help me I asked. God, please give me your strength. And that was all it took. The most powerful light being that had welcomed me to that place was there by my side, filling me with his love and strength, making me whole again. Then I could continue. With that light being by my side I watched the rest of my life, and how everything I did affected everyone. Up until the moment I had arrived in this beautiful place. Still I had the most powerful light being by my side, "he" had walked me through the rest of it. Then he told me something that I didn't remember until later. He said they were going to show me more of my life. That I would need to see certain things now. I, feeling strong in the light again, agreed wholeheartedly! So as I watched again, my life was progressed into the future. Not just once, but a multitude of times. And, all at the same time. Its hard to imagine now, but somehow I was shown MANY MANY different futures all at the same time. I was shown YEARS ahead, to the end of my life and beyond. **I am sorry if this sounds crazy. No one I have talked with about this so far has understood, so I am hoping that you will!!! Again, I am really sorry for any confusion. Please bear with me!!!**

View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous ( - on Wednesday, January 23, 2002 - 10:45 am:

My near death experience happened during the birth of my third child Alex. During my sixth month of pregnancy I experienced an event called placenta abruptia. When this happens, the placenta rapidly rips from the uterus and it is very easy for the mother to hemorrhage to death. After the event, I found myself in the ICU of the hospital. Since then, I have fully recovered my health. However, my son Alex (who is now 11) is a quadriplegic and has an IQ of 60. Here is my experience. During the ambulance ride to the hospital, I felt the drivers desperately trying to put IV fluids into me because of the blood loss (I lost over half the blood in my body). I do have memories of arriving at the hospital and being wheeled into the O.R. The noises around me sounded like a bunch of chipmunks, b/c there was so much rapid and excited conversations. It was during that time that the NDE happened. Even before it happened, I felt my body growing weaker, but I realized that another part of me was as strong as ever. When the NDE happened, it felt like I was pulled from my body with a strong vacuuming or suctioning device. Yes, I passed through a tunnel of sorts (no lights). Upon emerging from the tunnel, I did not see one bright light, but a multitude of small lights. I saw no dead relatives or had no life reviews. I tried to make rational sense of where I was. I live fairly close to a major city, and I was thinking that maybe somehow I had been put on a life flight and! was seeing the lights of the city. I remember looking for a lit CLARK bar sign that is so part of the skyline of the city I live close to. During that experience I felt like I was everywhere that my being was like a small wisp of smoke that spread out in all directions. I felt a total peace and love and contentment that I could never mirror back here on earth. As quickly as it happened, that quickly I felt myself back in my body and in the noisy panic hustle of the OR. Since then, much more spiritual. Completed a pre-med program and was accepted into medical school. (Painfully declined acceptance b/c of difficulty in finding someone to take care of my son Alex). Great desire to help and heal others. Powerful dreams (which are different than regular dreams) where I have discussions with wise beings. (Only 3 or 4 of these have occurred in the last 11 years) but I remember them so well. Feeling that I am not male or female, but a soul assigned to a female body. Mess up electrical things a lot (especially when upset). Wish I felt a great love for all humanity, but sometimes I don't. However, I am a more powerful advocate for injustices that are done to others.

View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous ( - on Wednesday, January 23, 2002 - 10:40 am:

I was in normal labor with my fourth baby. I usually dilated slowly at first so the Dr. elected to stay at his office till I was further along. Nurse called when I was at "6" centimeters & Dr. said call him when I was at "7". She was calling because I was at "7" and I had two contractions back to back & I felt the baby "crowning". She told the Dr. and they wheeled me into the delivery room as I was screaming in agony (never had any medication by an anesthetist). Because there was only the two nurses I felt that if they could do anything for the pain it might be what we called back then "gas". I screamed for them to give that to me and when they did I took two veeerrry
big breaths as they started to move to me to the delivery table. The next thing I knew I was up by the "ceiling" watching them move me as I
"thought-When are they going to realize that I am dead". I had no feelings of this being a bad thing or upsetting situation. It just was!I have no memory of what happened "in the middle". The next thing I knew as I was becoming conscious was my hearing "well here is your baby" and I saw the nurse, my baby and (surprise) my Dr. had hurried over from his office a short distance away. The nurse offered for me to speak via intercom or telephone to my husband and I told him we had another girl and then I started commenting about how interesting that heaven was so similar as heaven... They grabbed the phone and they never said anything to me about what I said or that anything had happened. I felt very peaceful and was quiet about everything just noticing how interesting it all was. This lasted for about 24 hours when my Aunt/godmother who I was very close to (more than ANYONE ELSE)came to visit and when I talked to her about this I was very shocked to find out from her that I was alive and had not "died". I did not hear about "near death" until a few years later and realized then "that's what happened to me"! I have never heard about people not remembering the middle part. Maybe because since the middle part is the most interesting part they never went to print. My feeling is that I wasn't supposed to remember and that if and when it is appropriate I will remember.

View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous ( - on Wednesday, January 23, 2002 - 10:35 am:

I had just had blood drawn for a routine test, a procedure that sometimes makes me feel faint (but usually right away, not after some minutes as happened this time.) About 5-10 minutes after the blood was drawn, while I was standing outside the clinic, I felt myself becoming faint and asked my husband to hold me because I could tell I was going to lose consciousness. According to my husband, after this I did in fact faint and became very white and rigid. Either I stopped breathing or my breathing was too shallow to detect.
He says he held me upright at all times for the few minutes I was unconscious, and called my name repeatedly until I woke up. He estimates I was "out" for perhaps 3 minutes. What I experienced was a sensation of floating and drifting slowly in a direction above my head (I felt I was lying orizontally, but not on anything solid) in a sort of misty white light. I sensed something like music, or a faint musical sound, but I can't describe it any better than that. I was not aware of myself as "myself," I had no sense of past or future, and I had no curiosity about what was happening, just a wonderfully peaceful feeling. I also had the impression that I was passing by a long line of "beings," who were observing me silently. I could not see them distinctly. All I sensed about them is that they were very old, maybe timeless beings. Ancestors, maybe, though not necessarily MY ancestors except in a very global human sense. I then had the uncomfortable feeling of being called away--an incessant calling that was very annoying, like being forcibly woken from the most wonderful dream and feeling it slipping irretrievably away. I suddenly had a very clear view of the sidewalk pavement and the bottom of a wall--a view I could only have had if I had been lying flat on the ground with my face turned to the clinic wall, which was never the case. Then I "came to" being held upright by my husband, as I had been all along. I felt a bit weak but otherwise okay, physically. Emotionally, I felt a mixture of loss at having to come back to the "real world", and a sense that something awesome and omentous had just happened to me. I am not a religious person at all, I have no belief in god or the afterlife, but this experience shook me profoundly and it was hours, if not days, before the feeling of momentousness subsided. I had little interest in or knowledge of near death experiences before this, so I was amazed when I began reading more about them and realized how many common elements there are between my experience and other NDEs (though of course, I was never "near death"). I don't know if this is just a common form of brain short-circuiting under medical stress, or an actual foretaste of what might happen after death. I have never been able to decide what it meant, for me, and I have always felt foolish describing this to other people. I know it was a special and profound experience, however, and not something I'll ever forget.

View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous ( - on Wednesday, January 23, 2002 - 10:29 am:

I was in hospital due to getting shocky from loss of blood thru internal bleeding. Doctors checked me out and then felt I was in less critical shape than other patient's with knife wounds etc. Suddenly I felt that I was swooshing up through my head towards a blinding light. From above their heads, I could see doctors and nurses yelling code blue and surrounding me and I could see them working on me. In the light I felt very peaceful. I seemed to be in a field or on a hillside and I felt wonderful in the bright light. I did not hear a voice, but suddenly I felt as though I was being offered a choice, to stay or return and watch my son grow up. I thought "Oh yes, I want to see my son grow up" and then I was sliding back quickly into darkness. I did not know what to think about it all, and did not tell my wife for about a year, when I saw an article describing NDE and I recognized some of it as what I had been through

View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous ( - on Wednesday, January 23, 2002 - 10:23 am:

Surgery related experience. Air tube was removed to soon and vocal cords closed. Body was still paralyzed due to the curare. Oxygen supply was absent for 5 to 6 min. before resuscitation. Heart had stopped beating also. First waking thought was the amount of pain I was in and the fact that I could not move. Next thought was the anger I felt because I was back in my body and I didn't want to be. I wanted to go back home, that is the way I felt about being on the other side. There are no words in our language to describe the emotions and feelings that come from the other side. The closest I can get to describe it to someone is to say, "It is like going home and I have been away a long time. Now multiply these emotions of returning home by 10 and you
Might come close to the description of what I felt on the other side." I don't remember lights or tunnels just the presence of what is on the other side. There were not visuals just the knowledge that I had somewhat of a choice to make. I could stay on the other side or return and finish what I had agreed to do in this lifetime. I felt like I was reminded strongly of what I had to do. I was angry about coming back. But made the choice to do so. Something like sending an angry child to its room with the reminder of the promise they made to clean it up! The child goes to clean the room but not real happy about doing It. This feeling stayed with me for about 2 years after my near death experience. Then as the years started to go by the knowledge of why I agreed to stay started unfolding and it is still unfolding.20 years after the near death experience the memories of that time are the same and have never changed. Because of what I experienced 20 years ago, I have been able to help other people before they passed over and it has helped me to deal with the loss of close family members leaving this world.

View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous ( - on Wednesday, January 23, 2002 - 10:18 am:

I was in a deep sleep. I'd guess about 2am when I heard my dog bark softly as he rested, just outside my bedroom window. I'd not been dreaming. The noise i.e. the bark of my dog did not startle me or frighten me, but it did awaken me. I remained perfectly still and listened to see if the dog would bark again or go after something. Nothing else was heard. I then became aware that although my body was totally relaxed, even numb. I was completely alert. I could have raised up and gotten out of bed at that moment if I had chosen to do so but as I listened quietly for possible other sounds from my dog I noticed a "light feeling" in the mid sternum region. It felt really good so I allowed this "feeling" to continue. Within a few seconds I (?) was lifting i.e. coming up out of my chest. It was the most incredible feeling of well being that I'd ever experienced. I kept saying over and over to myself "I can't believe this feels so •••• good!" A few seconds later I lifted out of my body (chest!), turned and drifted up into the corner of my bedroom. As I looked back I could see both my wife and myself lying in bed. I tried to make scientific types of observations because I appreciated the event taking place was something out of the ordinary. I didn't see, smell, or hear anything else unusual but I ask myself a couple of times in succession "how can I be doing this?" The answer was too obvious. "I must be dead!" I told myself. My eyes looked intensely at my chest to see if I could see it move with respirations. The room was not completely dark and in fact there was a lot of light because of the bed being next to the window and the moon must have been full. I could not see my chest move so I panicked and seemed to dive back towards my chest. I felt myself turn and start to fall back inside my body (chest). This is when I heard a noise, which surprised me but a noise I can describe. The sound was that of two tuning forks of the same frequency being brought together. It was a high-pitched resonating sound. I immediately sat up and got out of bed. I had not been dreaming. I had not taken any medication and I had not been drinking. I awakened my wife and scared her with the story of what had just happened and I told everyone at work the next day until I started to get some funny looks. I've since clamed up. I know how to do this again and have done so a couple of times voluntarily but have decided not to unless I can look back at Monitors e.g.ECG,and pulse oximeter to allow me to know that "I'm alright".

View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous ( - on Saturday, October 6, 2001 - 10:25 am:

Of the experience itself: I remember standing (or whatever) in a bright white sort of fog and there was a being (or energy force) on my left. I felt very close to this being (wanting to be with it as one would a spouse,etc.). I also remember wandering around in a charcoal-colored fog.

I must add that this accident took out a big hole in my memory of my life. I've lost the whole day that it happened, the weeks I was in the hospital (of that all I remember is a flash of my coming-to in ICU and a little bit of when I must have been in therapy because I remember working with blocks and wondering why I had to do this and why I was placed with all the other people in there who were obviously so 'out of it'), and several more weeks after that. I did not remember any of the experience until a few months ago my mother happened to be talking about my stay at the hospital and what I had said to her. As soon as she reported that I had said, "I was in a place where it was all bright white...", this came rushing back to me and I remembered it. There are so many things I can't remember from the past, UNLESS someone mentions something that 'cues' my mind to remember it. I've been told that I said some strange things when I was in the hospital, but from what I've been told nothing makes any sense and it has not 'cued' any memories. What I was wanting to know is if there is any way my mind can be 'cued' so that I can remember even more of my experience (because what I do remember is only just that little flash). I WANT TO REMEMBER MORE OF THIS!

Since my experience I have become more sensitive to others feelings and thoughts and have had several 'deja vu' experiences- knowing that someone was going to say something. These experiences are quite transient though and I haven't had one for quite some time (they often concerned me knowing what my daughter was going to say).

I didn't realize the significance of my sense of life purpose until some time after that in 1994, when I totalled my car. As I stood there beside my demolished car I KNEW that it wasn't my time to go and that I had some purpose yet for my life. Yes I had an airbag that had allegedly saved my life, BUT it had leaked out some of the chemicals onto my chin (that chemical burn was the only thing I received from my wreck). Since the airbag leaked, it couldn't have been what actually saved my life. Since then I have been working on improving my life: I found Wicca (or maybe Wicca finally found me, I hope!), I quit smoking, I quit my menial factory job of 22 years and went back to college, and have become a better person. I must add that I would never have been able to quit smoking or my job to go back to school (which is such a RADICAL change in my life!), if I hadn't found Wicca. Wicca has given me so much strength and support in my life. I don't yet practice the physical/magical side yet because my studies require so much of me (this is hard when you're in your 40's), but I will someday. For right now, the magic I am working is in my grades (3.1 G.P.A.).


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