It was during a bad reaction to a prescribed medication. I was undergoing a period of exhaustion and despair. I saw what looked like a bright, white circle. It looked very happy. I took it to be my future. The first and second times I saw it, I thought the time was not yet. On the third time, I saw and thought it. "There's nothing for me here. I don't care what it is...I'm going." I stepped across into the circle and immediately I was engulfed in a beautiful light. It was all around me and it was composed of unimaginable kindness. It was like being in the middle of the sun. I delighted the sun. It knew what I was like - faults and all but it loved me completely. It was also horrified by what I had done; that is, I had gone there alone and unaided. It didn't know a human being could do that. Such a feat should have been impossibly dangerous.

As I walked around inside the sun, I became aware that there was someone else walking around with me. I didn't recognize this person, but I was aware that he was unique and loved me. Then I became aware that there were thousands of people in the sun but they were not there yet; however, a place had been saved for them. I felt that I knew all there was to know, not specific events but I could see the significance of everything that happened and I knew what the consequences would be. I was able to step into and out of the sun and I saw on earth a verdant garden; no flowers were there, but birds sang and brought the flowers into being. The sun resided on earth in this garden.

There were green people (I could see the foliage of the garden through their forms.) waiting outside the gate to the garden. They began to come in when they saw me there. They seemed to know me and, although I was the youngest of them, they loved me the most. I beckoned to them to come in but the doctor who was attending said they were ghosts and that I was to send them away. I waved them away and they went out of the garden but they were sad because they did not know why they had to leave. Then the doctor told me, "Come back now." I stepped back down to earth with the utmost reluctance. Earth to me now seemed like hell because it is where injustice, chaos and everything that seems unfair or arbitrary operates. The doctor ordered me to promise not to go there again. I did so without the slightest intention of keeping that promise.

I was back on the wretched earth but I closed my eyes and felt myself walking through a dark forest. It was dark but not an unfriendly place. I was very tired and I stood still for a short while. As I stood, one of the trees in the forest grew up around me and I had to struggle hard to free myself and keep walking toward the western horizon to the sun. Then it showed itself to me. It was warm and glowing, sitting tangent on the horizon. It was about to set. I went toward it and saw again the bright, white circle and I threw myself into it. Again, it became the sun, surrounding me above and below with its unimaginable kindness. The second time the doctor ordered me to return I knew that if I did so, I would not be able to enter the sun again, at least not until the end of my life here.

At some point during the experience--I cannot remember specifically when--I became aware of the significance of every event that had ever happened to me. I also became aware (to my astonishment) that I had lived on earth many times before. I even remembered a fragment of my past time here. I was walking across a grassy heath with one other person. He was dressed like a soldier or as if prepared for an arduous journey. I was wearing a long, white dress, which was some sort of a mark of distinction. We had been very happy in our time together and we had agreed to meet again.

It was only in the years following the event that I gradually discovered through reading relevant literature that I had undergone a near-death experience. I'm still the same feeble, down-to-earth creature as always, but I have rediscovered a love of nature and a conviction of the sanctity of human life. It takes considerable effort to achieve humanhood. Our time here should be treasured and respected.