We went to my doctor's appointment on January 2nd and they scheduled a colonoscopy for the following Tuesday. However, on Saturday, January 4, 2002, I was in so much pain that I had my husband take me to the hospital. They said I was constipated and sent me home with instructions to take a laxative and some pain meds. Sunday afternoon, I was throwing up so much that I knew I was becoming dehydrated, so I had my husband take me back to the ER.
They admitted me, gave me pain meds, put a tube down my nose, and started tests. I do not remember much from the next few days. My husband told me that they didn't find what was wrong with me until Wednesday. The only thing I remember from that time is a nurse trying to perform a barium enema on me and it hurting so bad that I screamed three times for her to stop, and then insisted that the doctor sedate me before trying again. He agreed and the next thing I remember was Jesus walking me to Heaven.
We came out of the darkness into a very bright, white room. I could see the white wall, but I could also see beyond it. There were rolling green fields, trees, blue sky and people. Some people were walking around, some sitting, some conversing, and some reading. I "heard" Jesus tell me that I could go on or I could stay. I understood that he was saying I could go to heaven now or I could stay on Earth longer. I gave a big sigh and told him, "Well, Lord, if it was just me, I am so tired of pain that I would go now, but my husband and son still need me, so I guess I better stay." I knew that he smiled and he said, "okay". I woke up and there was the surgeon in my face. He said to me, "Whew! Welcome back! That was close!" Later, I learned from my husband that they had told him 30 more minutes and they would not have been able to save me.
Since then, I have more confidence in raising my son and am thankful for each day I am allowed to be a blessing to my family and to those around me. Additionally, I have a greater understanding of what death is and therefore, am not afraid. I have a desire to help others overcome their fear of dying as well.