It was July 4th 1989. I had gone to Alabama to see my Ex, along with some friends. We were down by the river, shooting fireworks, when my Ex's step-father called my name, and when I turned around, he swung with a club (modified baseball bat) and hit me upside the head.
I fell into the river. Some friends pulled me from the water and called for help. I was semi-conscious and remember no one was there except for a friend and his girlfriend. I don't remember being put into the ambulance, but I suddenly found myself watching and feeling the paramedics working on me. They cut my pants and shirt off and then used the paddles on my chest. It was very clear to me. (I later was talking to a police officer and he said, “You were dead. How did you know?)
The incident doesn’t end there. When I arrived at the hospital I was in and out of consciousness and remember speaking to authorities about what happened. The next morning, they come in to tell me that I had spotting on my brain and my vitals were fluctuating. I asked first if I could call my mother - she affirmed with me that nothing would happen to me and I was in God’s care. This was significant because my mom never lied to me, so whatever she said was matter-of-fact.
As I was being transported, one of the nurses asked me if there was anything I wanted them to do, should something happen to me? Without even thinking, I said let the people know that did this to me that I forgive them. This was genuine and natural.
In the back of the transport ambulance, I remember I felt an overabundance of Love and Peace. I thought: if I go, I am okay, if I stay, I am okay. The Love was so intense it was like I was embroiled in it.
When I arrived at the other hospital, I remember being greeted by several nurses (male and female), all with angelic qualities. They were beautiful both in appearance and in the love they expressed. They ran more tests and started to prep me for surgery.
The neurosurgeon then came in my room and said, “I can't explain this, but the spotting has completely dissipated.” They kept me for observation.
The following day, when I was released, I went to the hospital chapel room and went to the Bible. The passage I read talked about forgiveness. Later a friend came to pick me up. She commented that something is different. “It’s like your glowing. I can feel love or something coming from you. It feels like Jesus is in the car."
A few days later, I was tested by several people to cause harm to the person who did this to me. The State Attorney was also wanting me to move forward and come to give an account of everything. I decided to reach out to the person who caused the incident and ask them to cover any medical expenses. They responded with a very terse, "I should have killed you." I immediately jumped in my car, and drove straight to the SA office. When I arrived, I had to wait for them to get out of Court. After about an hour, I left to go put coins in the meter. When I was almost to my car, I heard a voice asking me what I was doing. It said, "You were willing to forgive when your life was in the balance, but not willing to forgive for money or for ill feelings?"
At that point, I decided to get in my car and drive back home to Florida.
Since then, my life changed drastically and I feel I have continued to evolve in thought.
I know things before they happen, from subtle events to significant ones, like death.
Intellectually, I just know things I was never taught nor read.
I understand animals and every living creature as one, and no harm shall come to them. I understand our dominion is to care for, not harm or think insignificant.
I have a love for other humans, and feel the pain of people who are not expressing good. I feel sorry for them.
My level of awareness has become more acute, where I can sometimes know someone needs help even though I can't see them. One time not too long ago, I thought I saw something behind me across the street. My first thought was that it was an animal. I then had a thought to go investigate. It was close to midnight. When I arrived across the street, there was a 80-plus-year-old woman in the bushes. She had fallen a few hours before and couldn’t get up. I helped her to her feet and sent her on her way.
My dreams have become more lucid with frequent visits from relatives or other people who have passed. They give me subtle messages. When I wake, I find myself having solutions to challenges. When executed, they get the exact result needed.
When my mom was hospitalized, I found myself uttering orders to the medical staff and doctors (against their thoughts), as if it wasn’t me. It's hard to explain. But every time, I was right.
Close to my mom’s passing, when she was at home about a week before, I sensed she was leaving. Everything was normal, but it was just something I felt (strongly). The last 48 hours she was here, I laid with her in her bed. We talked. But I was dismissive of what I was thinking. She passed early one morning. After she passed, it was like she was still looking at me. She looked fresh, and her eyes didn’t see any terror, but they looked at peace and happy.
Even though I experienced her death, I still longed for her to return. Almost immediately, she started appearing in my dreams. One time, it was my mom, myself and a strange woman I never met before... we were moving down a path and ended up at the ocean.
There have been multiple incidences where I have felt her in the same room as me. One night, I woke up in the middle of the night sad, and I couldn’t fall back asleep. I then decided to reach out to Mom. I said, “Mom, I love you and please hold me.” It was instant - I felt her love and I almost immediately fell into a slumber.
I have had several occasions where I believe my mom was trying to communicate with me and I felt her.
Bottom line is, since that fateful day when I had the death experience, I have never felt the same. I think differently. I understand LOVE is everything. I am more aware. I would tell my mother that I sometimes felt I was there and here at the same time. I no longer see the world through a mortal lens.