When I was 3, I ingested 30 Seconals that had been prescribed for my mom during her divorce. Our housekeeper, Lula, came to wake me from my daily nap, and found that I had vomited pink liquid all over my pillow and could not be woken. I was taken to Baptist Hospital, a few miles from where we lived in Knoxville, TN. There, they pumped my stomach, but could not paddle shock or adrenalize me because of my age. My heart had stopped before we left my home. Some ER physician finally thought to cut down my ankles and mainline me with pure caffeine. It took a number of hours, however, for that to revive me.
In the interim, I was suddenly in a very white light place. All that was there was a very large being with long white caftan-like clothing, with a gold sash around the waist. There was a seat that looked like a wide bench, not throne, that was gold also. I felt that I was standing, looking at this being suddenly. I was very happy to be there - elated. There was an immediate pronouncement by this being (who was immensely kind) that I could not stay where I was and would have to go back to live out my life on the other side. I was enormously upset by this. I argued my case, tried to bargain, begged, any and everything I could do - but the answer was the same - you must return to live out your life.
This being seemed larger than a human man, had white hair and larger eyes than humans have. The eyes were animated in a very strange way - like grandfather clock eyes on Captain Kangaroo's shows. He was sitting on the bench when I first arrived, but then stood to talk with me. He emanated a love that I find impossible to describe in words. I felt that I had to be with him. My sense of time wasn't there. I don't remember going there or coming back.
But when I was at home again, I didn't want to be there. We had woods in back of our house. Every day for months I would take my collie dog, Brutus, into the woods with me and, lying down on the pine straw-covered forest bed, I would pray to God to take me back up into heaven and allow Brutus to come with me. This went on for months. I felt discontented to be where I was - sort of like being in jail or constrained. I felt a sort of depression.
Many years later, a psychic who was a friend of mine just blurted out that my sister had fed me pills when I was small, that had ended up killing me. That made perfect sense to me because Ann, my sister, had tried to kill me many times during my childhood. I had always wondered how I had gotten hold of my mother's prescription bottle of Seconals at age 3.
I have always felt confined in this life, like I need to get out of here. I can hardly wait to be reunited with heaven and God.