I grew up in Whittier, CA.and went to Pioneer High from '66-'70 and my life-long friend was Mike Brown.

Me and him grew up playing music and doing things young people do. Anyway he ended up in Seattle WA and I went to live with him and my girl friend later came up to live with me, and I ended up married to her later. Well I didn’t know how much problems he had with drugs and people, there’s really so much that is involved with what leads up to the event which took place in 1989.

He asked for my gun to go hunting one day and ended up shooting himself in Alki Beach in 1981 just west of Seattle, and I went to clean the apartment up. That was a hard ride to take, when I knew him so long since the 2nd grade.

I got the news from my wife that night (well, she wasn’t my wife then, not until we came back to California) when I was rehearsing with the band I was in. I hold a lot of guilt in my heart because I gave him the tools to send him on his way. He had committed suicide in his girl friend's apartment.

It was strange because when I was playing with the band that night, something came in the room and hit me so hard that I almost fell over, in the rehearsal. It was like an electrical shock, and I said to my self, “Oh, it felt like Michael,” but why I didn’t know. After I got the news I helped to clean up the apartment, and three days later he came back to me in the house I was in, and I’ll never forget what I saw. In the hallway, he was standing there with a small light shining down above his head, and he told me, ”Richard, I’m so sorry. I should have listened to you about Jesus.“

Now I guess I was trying to let him know one day earlier about Jesus, but to no good. Took the 30-06 and blew his heart out and back and was all over the place that I cleaned up.

He came to me three days later, like I said. While he was talking to me, his long brown hair was in his face and as he moved, I noticed his eyes were gone, like cut out. It was something to see. He told me, “Richard, please don’t ever do this, you will not like this side," and then vanished. I was carrying guilt for what I did for years. When I saw his eyes were gone, I had thought that he lost his soul and that it was my doing that made that possible. I was sick. Then about two years ago, I found out that his parents donated his eyes.

I would see him now and then in different places but never was close enough to make any kind of contact.

Well since that day, I’ve had bad dreams and felt guilty, and could not shake it off for years that it drove me to the same state of mind, but I had a family. But Satan and the darkish ones, his demons, do not care one bit. I often think well what if I was more bold in God and Jesus maybe I could of changed things around, but no, that was too late.

So time went on, and I let things get me down, my wife had friends that like to play in the snow ,so we played there for a time or two, and got deeper and deeper into hard times, not monetarily speaking, but what I mean is into the white, and not the light, and at the time it was all around.

By snow I don't mean in the mountains and once you start that well it just keeps getting a hold of you and for ME well it dragged me down let’s just say that. But I only have myself to blame. I loved her more than anyone but as you can see the snow was just all around like a bad dream. Now any other wife would of said, “Now honey let’s not do this it’s no good for us.“ No, she brings me a bag of arrows and says I don’t want you to catch any disease now, do we. Things were strange back then.

I remember after the incident in 1989, I realized that any one who goes to the other side or down the same path I went, if they do not damage their body like my friend did, has a chance of returning only because the path back is not broken.

I gotta tell you that I was very lucky, I was able to come back only because god allowed it.

After 1989 when I took that trip I’ve been having dreams, I was with my wife, family, and friends, when all of a sudden we see giant frogs, yellow, red, and green eating people, and then black bats come flying in over head and forming a head with flaming blue eyes, on the hill side facing us, and speaking to me, “So you think that you are safe now that you went there to see him, but you have no clue, you should of stayed with him but no you had to ask and ask to come back!! “

Always having the same dreams of some invasion. I could go on and on of the things that have happened since 1989. But that would take a very long time

Now the truth, and this is where the Journey begins, I was in my living room doing my thing, not getting enough, when all of a sudden after my last hit (hit is some way of taking your fix, read between the lines). (I was young and stupid and I loved my wife and kids but you're probably thinking yeah right, I’m still trying to think and do the right things but some times we just make bad choices.) Well there I was on the couch when I noticed that all sound was gone, and then the small light that was on in the living room started to travel far away from me, in a wobble motion, so that it was almost gone. It became very dark and then it’s hard to explain but an orange color formed all around me almost like I was in some place as if in a tunnel or in between the earth and the sky but apart from both.

Then the light started to come back, instantly I knew I was in trouble, and started to go from looking towards the ceiling, to turning towards the floor, and the light was coming closer to me, and growing larger, then back away again repeating that over and over. Each time it came near it looked like dark orange with black veins and pulsating.

At the same time I was praying to god for forgiveness. I knew what I was saying, but later, was told that all they heard was a sound I was giving out of "yah,yah yah yah" just repeating it non-stop.

I was asking, and telling Jesus and God, please don't take me! At the same time, I was doing the jitter bug, the death dance and flopping like a fish out of water, going into convulsions.

The light was coming back again but slower and darker to an orange color not white, like at first, almost like the sun, and then I noticed it was pulsating like a heart, or breathing, something like that, come and go, back and each time, larger than before until like the sun came down to earth.

This was while I was on the couch. Then I saw myself flopping like a fish out of water, and very fast, just me, no one around me yet, and all of a sudden, I was looking down at myself through the roof of my apartment. It was at Piccadilly Lane and I noticed that I was in outer space and trying to get myself balanced like one under water.

I remember my hair was drifting side-to-side and I was looking around, noticed myself at first like a silhouette against the lights, not worried about myself for a second, the sensation was more like as if you are snorkeling so deep that everything is like a dream.

I was like a dark silhouette at first against the light. I’m in limbo, when the light came again, when I was in space and thinking how could that be, I’m watching myself from somewhere else like a movie but this was no movie, it was real.

I saw what I thought was shooting stars, they where bright white, so white and bright it was beautiful, millions flashing by all around me, none of them hitting me but coming close.

Then I saw one, way out there in the higher levels of space, so high it looked small, then it came slowly, but this one was multicolor and I knew it was mine. Then I realized that all those shooting stars were not stars at all, but transporting spheres, for all the souls that where passing over just like me.

For some reason, I believe the first light that grew like the sun, I think it brought me out to space, because the one with the multicolor coming at me was the real thing. By that I mean the one sphere that would bring me to him.

Again no sound, but I was able mentally to feel, but not hear.

I saw myself again flopping like a fish out of water back in the living room (this is the 1st person, the flesh), looked up again, and this one transporter sphere was getting closer and it got Orange again. While it got closer to me, it looked like a chariot and flaming. Ya,Ya,Ya, I remember everything that I saw, like it was yesterday. I really need some help (LOL) cause I can’t get it out of my head.

But no, I never want to forget it. I have a people problem now, I have a love and HATE for them, not good. I’ve kept this in for much too long. Maybe this can help someone, who knows.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, the Orange pulsating sphere, the chariot grew like the sun and came to touch the earth again, and as I raised my left arm as if to block it, I felt warmth from it but not burning, and I saw the flames, like the sun so huge and gigantic, and then each flame became wings, then the wings showed a figure in the middle everywhere I looked, at the same time, I was back looking at myself, praying to god and Jesus, “please don’t take me. I have a family, and I’m so sorry to come to you this way” over and over, with great fear, and crying, and begging, anything to get out and back to my room.

Sometimes I think, why would I want to come back? I had the chance to go with god, but I gotta say, I was so intent to come back that that’s why I was allowed.

That thing about free will. I think that I was lucky, that’s all, like it was not my time.

When the sphere came I then saw myself on the floor again (I am talking about the Sprit part of me, the 2nd person, the one asking and begging God and Jesus for forgiviness). It was Orange all around me, it was like a sunset, the dark earth below and the dark sky above, and I was under so much pressure like at the bottom of the sea, could not look up to see him, not even his feet, but I knew it was him and again no sound, just me wailing and pleading and all those feelings of the sinner. I saw myself like a crab walking from side to side, going in circles trying to lift my head to see, like a dog trying to please his master when he was scolded but this was much worse. This was in the spirit in outer space.

Again the sphere was like the sun coming down to touch the earth, in the sun’s flames, light, then the wings showed me their figures and they where so beautiful, men and women, then they moved, half to the left, and half to the right, and though I was still on the Orange stone floor like Marble and the pressure was so intense I was able to look up at his feet. I started to rise up now, I was able to look up and the angels, after moving from side to side, they turned into gigantic mountains on each side of him, then that’s when I saw him.

At first I was as if the size of a grasshopper. Because they were higher than me, they where looking down at me, they where so magnificent and millions of people behind him. He had a white cream color gown and a maroon or purple robe, the same as the others, and he stretched out his hands, and was telling me something but I could not hear what he had to say. Which I regret to this day. But if I had heard him I might not be here to write this.

This was between two mountains, and the mountains were huge on both sides of him, and like a sunset was behind him where the sky was getting dark, but yet there was light to see them. He had long dark hair and a kind, caring face, gentle, but the power I was feeling from them was so unbelievable. I remember all the faces, they had a sad look to them and were looking to one another, while Jesus or Peter was saying something I don’t know but I really think that was Jesus and Peter was on his right .Anyway that’s how I was taught.

And then it happened, I saw myself asking forgiveness and sinking back downwards. I did not see anything evil anywhere, I was someone who was just afraid to die it was like this happened so fast but it all seemed to go on for ever. I really don't think that I or anyone goes into Heaven at first. By the looks of things, I was on the outside looking in, like at a gate.

With a loud boom I felt my wife hit me in the back harder than I ever thought she could hit, then I was back on the couch looking up at my wife, and I was a kid who just got caught for doing something wrong. She was yelling at me, very mad. I was so grateful to hear and see her.

And there was this man behind her, he had silver hair and a silver crown with a silver what appeared to be like a Knight’s Armor suit, bushy eye brows, almost looked like a Santa Claus, and he shimmered with white light. He had this look I’ll never forget. He was angry, sad, and disappointed; kind of like a father when he scolds his son or daughter, shook his head,  turned to the left and vanished.

For years I did not say anything except to my wife and my father and ever since, Satan has been haunting me. I would try to go to church and then start hearing voices, curses, and dreams so real that I was afraid to sleep and I would drink. I ended up losing my family anyway. Like I said there was nothing evil out there, except me at the end on the floor. I think they had to send me back because I saw my face and body not burning but melting away like a candle and I came back to hell like a cartoon character being sucked down some pipe or portal back to my living room.