On May 27th, 2016, I was planning to take a trip to Atlanta, GA that evening to bring my son’s tuxedo, who was serving as the Best Man in his friend’s wedding on that Saturday, May 28th. As I was on the phone telling my son the plans, all of a sudden a very loud and commanding voice, rang out in my car and exclaimed, “NO, DON’T GO!” It made me shake like a leaf. I then told my son that I had changed my mind and would be there the next afternoon. However, that rebuke was hanging on my shoulders, like a thousand-ton weight. I silently asked inside myself, “What’s going on, Lord?” “Something is wrong.” At some point, I had reconciled that perhaps I was being saved from a bad accident or something of that nature. But I KNEW, with the deepest sense of knowing, that SOMETHING BAD was looming in the air. I attempted to go to bed that night with a heavy load of anxiety.
After a lot of tossing and turning, I got up around 3:00 a.m. and went into my living room and opened my laptop to do some work. Although still very distracted by the earlier rebuke, I was more distracted as I FELT someone was watching me. I know that sounds like paranoia, which I never had; it was a real tangible knowing. It seems as soon as I had this thought, out of my peripheral vision, I saw a moving flame of fire in the backyard. Somehow in my mind’s eye, I was picturing someone holding a torch and thought, “Why is the neighbor outside with a torch at 3:00 in the morning?” As I heard how ludicrous this sounded in my own hearing, I offered my own rebuttal as I said, “People don’t use torches anymore”. I was picturing a short Olympic style hand torch because of the way it was moving about back and forth.
Unable to satisfy myself with any answer, I put my head back down in an attempt to ignore such bizarre notions. This proved to be futile as I was sensing and hearing the words, “Look up, Look up!” When I looked up, I was paralyzed by what I saw. As my natural eyes shed their confinements of this world, my spiritual eyes peered through the spiritual veil and I was beholding a large spiritual being.
The being was suspended in the air but low to the ground, without touching it. It was in spirit form; thus, there were no physical legs of flesh to stand upon. We are used to speaking in proximity of things in terms of the body and what is “normal” for Earth. But when it comes to the spiritual realm, it becomes a challenge to find adequate words to describe accurately what was seen or felt. I will reference the being as “he” because I perceived that it was masculine in nature, although the face wasn’t clearly visible with the distinct features of a man. His appearance was a transparent, opaque coloration, like a misty cloud that I could see through, but yet solid at the same time. He had a large, strong silhouette. He didn’t have wings. In proximity to the tall trees, I would estimate that his stature was approximately 10-12 feet tall. I did not identify what area of his personage the flame was emanating from.
The angel had a militaristic stance, like an English palace guard, yet exuded a communion of love, care, warmth, compassion, and most of all, protection. I did take note that the flame was no longer moving back and forth but was completely still, just as he was. I locked my eyes with a fixed gaze on him, and I trembled at the thought of him speaking to me. But once again, my inner dialogue surfaced, and I began asking, “What do you want? What do you want to tell me?” Instantaneously, as if my words and thoughts were heard, I was granted spiritual knowledge, much like mental telepathy, that he was there on a specific assignment to keep watch over me. I understood that he had not been instructed to give me any kind of message or reveal to me the specific reason for the manifestation.
Regardless of the purpose, I trusted God’s reason for revealing His Heavenly Messenger, but I knew by the Spirit, that it was not good. Perhaps it had something to do with the commanding voice to avoid traveling to Atlanta on Friday evening and the restless uneasiness that had prevented me from sleeping that night.
I arrived in Atlanta that morning, pretty much in shock. I didn’t say anything to my best friend who was traveling with me but my daughter did tell me that she came into the living room and I was staring out the window not moving and she said that she asked me what I was looking at and I replied, “an angel.” But I never moved or broke my gaze. I kind of remember her coming into the living room but it was more like that part was a dream but the real live part was the angel being there.
When I visited my son, whom I was very, very close with, there was this distance and large chasm between us that I have NEVER experienced. I felt so far, far away in his existence. This was very upsetting to me. However, as I began to leave him and get in my car, there again was a loud audible voice, but this time, it was gentle and calm but was very close to my left ear. As if a person walked up and whispered in my ear, the presence and feeling was that palpable. The instruction was, “Take a picture, in case this is the last time you see him.” I will tell you without a shadow of doubt, I obeyed that voice completely on autopilot. I couldn’t grasp or conceive that being the last time that I would see him but somehow in the depths of my spirit, I KNEW something bad would happen. Nonetheless, I didn’t or wasn’t able to bring to the forefront of my consciousness to understand that to be death. We took the picture, and that was indeed the last time that I saw him alive. I now am able to understand this was a transitioning period for his final transition from this earth.
So, with a heavy and burdened-down soul, I leave Atlanta and head to my hometown of Kingsport, TN. On May 29, 2016, the Big Reveal came. I received a phone call from an ER physician at Piedmont Hospital to inform me that my son has passed. Still recalling that moment, my heart caves in all over again. Just like a tape recorder being rewound, it ALL made sense. The angel knew what was going to happen and was there on assignment for this horrific and traumatic moment.
That night, I couldn’t sleep of course. But I recall clearly lying in the bed with my eyes open and in an instant, I felt my body rise up and out until I was looking down on myself. I could see my daughter and granddaughters who were also sleeping in the room. As I turned my head away, in a blink, I was in a grand bright pure while expanse. There were no beginning or end points of direction. It JUST WAS!
I found myself in a very real place of pure impeccable bright whiteness. This white cannot be compared to any shade of white that I’ve ever seen on earth. Contained within the unblemished, spotless atmosphere was a living blanket of pure white clouds. The blanket of clouds appeared to be both a solid foundation but yet still light and weightless. I recently heard an account of a lady who had an experience of visiting heaven, and she described a cluster of angels that appeared like clouds. After recalling her testimony, I wondered if what I described as clouds were actually angels because they seemed to be alive with personality and an actual purpose. As I was standing in pure bliss of tranquility, I began to hear the sweetest and most melodic and harmonious song that I’ve ever heard. Then there appeared a type of transportation mechanism but not like a car or truck. The closest thing to describe it would be a white, solid wood, fully enclosed baby crib with a solid headboard and footboard that resembled a vintage antique baby crib. It had a royal blue heart etched into the headboard. It is difficult to explain, but somehow, I perceived that this represented a baby boy. However, it was after the vision that I realized this was symbolic and not literal. The device was swaying back and forth in the blanket of clouds as if they had arms that were gently rocking it and passing it back and forth to the tempo of the music. The crib was swaying in synchronized rhythm in perfect time with the soft melodic song that was being heralded in that vast domain. There was an exaltation of feelings of deep and endearing love. The “clouds” or angels tossed the transportation device through the atmosphere as if a thousand different mothers were taking turns passing an infant from one set of arms to another. Enraptured at this moment without time, the experience seemed to abruptly come to a screeching halt as the crib device had advanced beyond my frame of view. As if the curtain had been closed, I could no longer look through the window of eternity.
At that time, the Holy Spirit began to reveal the interpretation of that encounter. First, I called my son, “Baby Boy.” He was my only son, and this was a term of deep endearment. His contact name in my phone to this day is “Baby Boy.” Immediately I understood God was communicating to me that He had my baby boy. But He also explained to me that although my son had been born-again, he had never matured or developed fully in the things of Christ, and as a babe in Christ, he had much to learn about His salvation.
I would like to be able to say that this gave immediate comfort and peace. However, the wound was too fresh and raw, but along my healing journey, it did bring a great deal of peace and comfort in which I had to merge that spiritual comfort into my soulish comfort in order to find some amount of solace.
Now here comes the biggest part of these spiritual encounters that is the most noteworthy to hear. This truly uprooted every religious thought and notion of what I understood to be “God” or “Jesus.” I realized that religion actually pointed me away from His true character and Word instead of directing me towards Him. I realized that although I accepted and deeply believed the salvation message of John 3:16, I actually had no idea REALLY what it was. However, I got to see it in action in real life application on the other side of death. Trust me, there is no such thing as death! Enclosed in my closet while trying to find a dress for my son’s memorial, I dropped to my knees with flowing salty tears and my closet turned into another place!
Within a blink of an eye, or as if someone had snapped their finger, I was immediately immersed into a full open spiritual dimension in a vision. I was given the ability to see clearly as a first-person bystander in this spiritual place, and once again, I heard the words of Paul echoing in my spirit. “I will go on to visions and revelations from the Lord. I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven. Whether it was in the body or out of the body, I do not know----God knows. And I know that this man---whether in the body or apart from the body, I do not know, but God knows---was caught up to paradise and heard inexpressible things.”
Whether in the body or out, I do not know. But what I do know is that the invisible veil was ripped and I was granted access to witness the very transitioning of my son from this earthly life to the other side.
It is of vital importance that this actually occurred in earth’s time three days after he had passed. However, in eternity, there are no confines of time and space, like years. So, therefore, this was happening in present tense, although it was actually past tense, in earth time.
I beheld my son standing with his back to me in front of a broad-shouldered, muscular man who was sitting down on what appeared to be an old medieval-century wooden stool. His hands were folded in his lap and clasped together. He was postured as if he were a tribal elder prepared to hear a case. I knew that this man was a great man of authority. But there was an immense softness and love in his demeanor that seemed unfitting knowing how much authority he possessed. He had these deep, warm, brown eyes that were like an unlimited deep pool filled with love, and that love poured out and saturated that whole atmosphere. It was this enormity of love that made me weep, I was captivated by it. Oh, even now, my heart wells up inside of me from the impact of experiencing that love. He was dressed in an ancient burnt orange tunic with a dark brown rope belt and leather sandals, much like the clothing worn in biblical movies. He had dark chestnut brown, thick, wavy hair that fell just shy of his shoulders, chiseled facial features outlined by a goatee with tanned skin.
He seemed so familiar. I knew that he was a holy man and not an angel. Although I felt that there were angels present, I did not see them. While standing in front of this holy one and taking in this atmosphere, my son exclaimed, “My mom was right! My mom was right!” and this immediately ensnared me. In a split second, I knew that he was recounting our conversations about what happens when we die and other spiritual things that we had talked about just two short months before he left the earth. I smiled at this and was astonished that the conversation was ordained by the Lord and not a mere coincidence.
I was aware that I could see the first dimensions of Earth, at the same time I was there in that place. Allow me to explain. I saw my son’s body lying on his back on the bathroom floor at some point after he was found struggling to breathe. However, I was not focused on this aspect of the vision at this time. I bore no interest in what was going on with his body, and soon I saw that neither was he. It is important to expound that as a mother, I should have become upset or distraught at seeing my son’s body lying there dying. But I did not. It was if that wasn’t really him, not from a state of denial or anything like that, but it was impossible to associate that compromised human flesh as “my son” when I was standing right there watching him talk to this holy man! Death could not be perceived as death, when you see the “dead” living! I did not carry one strand of grief in that moment.
This Holy man beckoned my son to express his heart, his questions, and his anger. Without any reservations, my son freely began talking about such things as his anger with God over the sudden death of his girlfriend, things that he had questioned about religion, and the hurt of seeing Christians’ harsh judgements and treatment of others and even him. Also, he asked why bad things happened to good people, and why was there so much suffering in the world. He even stated that it was hard for him to believe that God really loved him. But the most incredible spiritual exchange took place. There were immediate answers to and understanding of every question that he ever possessed. By the time he would utter the words, the answer or reassurance would instantly be given to him. I witnessed the fulfillment of the words from an old hymn that says, “We’ll understand it by and by.” My son exclaimed with excitement, “Oh, I understand now! I get it now!” His previous questioning about things of life seemed to dissipate at a rapid pace in the presence of such love and acceptance that is beyond anything that you will ever know on this earth. All of the anger and confused thoughts about God and His love and goodness were healed in his soul.
But once that aspect had been completed, things began to take on a different form. I can only describe it in this manner. Once my son received healing in his soul, his spirit began to come under conviction about his actions and shortcomings based on what he now understood to be the truth about life and God. In one momentous moment, he understood everything about life, death, and everything in-between. My son had such joy to finally understand what he could not understand on this side of life. I was not privy to all of the innermost conversations between my son and the Holy man, but I knew it was a review to look at what he did with his life, choices he made, and his salvation that he accepted Christ as his Lord and Savior. I was able to understand that we judge ourselves in the light of this pure love, acceptance, and holiness of this place. I had longed to see this transformation in my son’s life but never fully did on this side of the veil. But praise be to God, King of the Universe, I was given the spiritual eyes to see it come to pass in his life after life! His soul had been healed. The soulish part of our triune-being encompasses the mind, will, and emotions. In life, our spirit man gets born-again by accepting Jesus Christ as the Son of God, the Messiah, who was crucified and resurrected on the third day and ascended to heaven. However, our soul still may suffer very deeply in our salvation walk. Furthermore, this broken soul can prevent or stunt spiritual growth. It’s His desire and will that we achieve soul healing in this life so that we can live life here more abundantly.
Although this man was postured like He was prepared to judge a matter, there was no harsh behavior as you would expect or think when envisioning judgement. Instead, He had only compassion, understanding, reconciliation, and forgiveness and granted a full pardon for my son amid my son’s own self-condemnation. He was focused and looked so lovingly and intently at my son as if he was the holiest person in the world that had ever existed. This was the LOVE that was overwhelming and hard to contain.
The Holy Spirit gave me Jesus’ words in John 5:24-25: “Amen, amen I tell you, whoever hears My word and trusts in the One who sent Me has eternal life. He does not come into judgement, but has passed over from death into life. Amen, amen I tell you, an hour is coming and it is here, when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God. Those who hear will live! “
This Holy and loving man assured him that He has always been with him and has never left him alone. Once again, the Holy Spirit took me to John 3:17-18: “God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that world might be saved through Him. The one who believes in Him is not condemned; but whoever does not believe has been condemned already because he has not put his trust in the one and only Son of God”
All of my life, I have been made to see God as this harsh and raging Higher Power that was ready to bring swift judgement and throw you into Hell for spitting on the sidewalk! Henceforth, I understand the true revelation of what it truly means for Jesus to be the Mediator who prays to the Father on our behalf. Romans 8:34: “Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died---more than that, who was raised, is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us.”
But before I continue on, allow me to explain the poignant realization of how I came to understand the identity of the holy man and why I referenced him in that manner when I first started writing about this experience. It was only after I was “back to earth”, if you will, and began to recount the experience and examine all that had transpired, did I understand who the holy man was. I reflected back on the whole vision with bewilderment and astonishment. I felt like I had been gone for ages. There was no sense of time-----no today, yesterday, tomorrow, or past, present, or future. It reminds me of what God meant when He exclaimed to Moses, “I AM that I AM!” The time just was that it was, no beginning or ending. It was as if what I was seeing had always been. It’s extremely difficult to articulate. The reminiscence of his attributes became so illuminating, as I could still feel the tangible presence of their effects on me and the atmospheric conditions around us. He was familiar to me as if I had known Him all of my life while I was “there.” I never felt a question of who he was. However, while thinking with my fleshly mind, I initially thought that he was an ancient patriarch like Abraham or Moses. Moreover, as my reflection gave way to expounding on the love, grace, mercy, forgiveness, truth, justice, and redemption that exuded from His being, my spirit, like a wide-eyed child, bore full witness to the Spirit, that no mere earthen vessel of clay could possibly carry the purity and wholeness of the vastness of those characteristics. It is ONLY the Messiah who did and could do so. When He confirmed to my son that HE had always been with him, I knew that to be true, both for him and even for myself. Not only was He YHWH, but He was also best friend and brother. In the spirit, I knew this without one ounce of doubt, but once I was back in the flesh with its limited understanding, it was unbelievable to me that the person I saw was the Savior, Jesus Christ. I grappled with this as if I was Thomas, The Doubter, who was beholding the resurrected Yeshua but still had to put his finger inside of Christ’s wounds. Consequently, with each episode of doubt, the Holy Spirit rushed in like the whirlwind that He is and reminded me again that the observed attributes couldn’t be fulfilled by a mere imperfect man like Abraham or Moses, but only the Spotless Lamb who was slain for the sins of the world, Yeshua HaMashiach. (Hebrew for Jesus the Messiah). But it was His eyes that I couldn’t get out of my mind. It was as if I fell into their deep pools of love and was submerged by them. …..In the many days and months following my experience, although I am not an artist, I would find myself drawing pictures of His face and the complete scenery of the vision, but most of all, Him. I couldn’t get any of it out of my mind. I fully understand what Jesus was referring to in Matthew 18:3: “Amen, I tell you, unless you turn and become like children, you shall never enter the kingdom of heaven.”
How difficult it is to find the words to put on paper because they pale and fall short of the emotions that I desire to convey to you right now! This was precisely how I felt while there in that place---like a child. Being like a child is different from being childish or immature. Receiving spiritual things like a child means to embrace it without reservations and doubt. It’s embracing that innocence of unadulterated joy, peace, and thanksgiving for what Jesus has accomplished for you. Now I understand what Jesus was saying. Our adult intellect challenges and refutes everything. But a child takes it all at face value by pure faith.
Another great perplexity of being in that spiritual domain versus the earth’s was that my affection for my beloved son was that of a dear brother, instead of a mother to her son. Jesus was both of ours’ chief Brother and Friend. It’s only after I returned from the vision did I feel the human emotions and thoughts of him being my son. That’s so incredible to me!
When you experience something supernatural by the spirit, it generates a different response from how you relate to it in the flesh. In the spirit, things that you see and feel are normal and natural as if this is how life has always been. I was void of dismissive negative human emotions or skepticism. I had absolutely no sadness or pain for my son. But this was only because I was in the spirit. It was impossible to have any emotions other than love, joy, peace, adoration, and thanksgiving.
My son accepted the truth of His words and connected with Him as the Source of all that is, has been, and will be forevermore. While my son’s friends, strangers, and medical personnel were looking on his body struggling to “live,” he was having the grandest and most phenomenal one-on-one conversation of his entire existence with the Master.
My son’s rejuvenated spirit and exuberant joy were radiating from his being. He was smiling brightly, like he was the noonday sun herself. Although I was enthralled by all of this, my attention was quickly refocused as I immediately sensed the arrival of someone’s presence on my left side, but not positioned directly beside me. I could see them distinctly in the distance, yet they were close at the same time. However, my son simultaneously also turned to his left as Christ was letting Him know that someone was there to see him.
Immediately upon looking to our left, three men were standing on a green grassy ridge. In the background to the right was a picturesque, brilliant, illustrious city that glistened like it was made with diamonds. As soon as Christ gave instructions to approach, they traveled at the speed of thought and appeared right in front of Him and my son. Let me add that no one spoke with their mouth. It was all through mental telepathy. But you could see every single emotion and thought reflected on their faces. As I observed the men, I became keenly aware that I indeed knew them. They were dressed in pure white linen tunics and pants. This initially had bothered me when I was first journaling the experience because, in my mind, I thought that the only kind of heavenly garments were robes. I was relieved to discover several different accounts of experiencers that were taken to Heaven, explaining that there were different styles of dress in Heaven based on one’s preferences, just as we have different styles on earth.
The first young man had a beaming smile on his face, and he seemed to be the key greeter of the trio. In a matter of seconds, I quickly realized that it was my son’s cousin, that we called Little Sonny, who had passed away many years ago at 26 years old, but it was as if they had just seen each other yesterday. …Seneca Sodi, author of 40 Days in Heaven: The True Testimony of Seneca Sodi's Visitation to Paradise, the Holy City and the Glory of God's Throne, spoke of how he recognized a woman in a group of joyous spirits when he was allowed to visit heaven for forty days: “I cannot tell how we recognized each other but there is such a similarity of the spirit itself to the bodily features that we at once knew each other, and memory was so fresh that we seemed never to have forgotten anyone.”
He and my son embraced each other so tightly with such joy and affection. Oh, what a joyful reunion I beheld! It was stupendous as I felt the same intense joy. I could feel its reverberation all through the atmosphere. The other two men I knew were older than Little Sonny, but that was not determined by their facial features. Little Sonny appeared to be around 25 or 27 years old. The two older gentlemen seemed to be about 30 years old. I knew they had been older than Little Sonny in their earthly ages. In the spirit, there is greater perception of everything and you are free of the limitations of the brain that we are yoked to with this body.
One of the men I was attentively focused on because I knew that I had known him in this life. My son had absolutely no tie to this earth, although he had me in his memory. His flesh wanted nothing from this earth because of what he was given and seeing in his life after life---the real life!
I kept having the familiar older gentleman’s face embedded in my mind and began to inquire of the Lord about who that was, especially as I started to write about this encounter and sought many fervent answers. I kept thinking about the man, and the Holy Spirit finally revealed to me that it was my mother’s brother, Anthony, that we called Uncle. He had passed away approximately four or five years earlier. But I was in total stupefaction! “Surely that can’t be him!” It was not my intention to dispute the Holy Spirit. But surely, I misheard what the Spirit said, I thought.
When my Uncle passed away, his face was worn and aged with bad dental health, and he was very thin. He was only 53 years old when he passed away from a heart attack, and life had not been the kindest to him. So, my intellect was getting the best of me. Therefore, the Spirit bore witness with my spirit that I saw my uncle and saw him in paradise; he was healthy, youthful, and without any imperfections. But I realized that’s why I felt especially close and familiar with him. The third man was my son’s guardian angel that has been assigned to him since birth, just like we all have.
They had been commissioned to take my son into Paradise. I wish that I could say that I was allowed to go into Paradise, but I was not. I was only permitted to know they were going, and it was nearby. I did come to understand that Paradise is a part of Heaven like a suburb but not actually in the Heavenly City. I think of the thief on the cross that was told by Jesus, “Today, you will be with me in Paradise.” However, while this was taking place, we were on the outside of Paradise and the Heavenly City. I can only describe it as a meeting station or holding place. But this is nothing like Catholicism’s idea for purgatory or any similar idea but more so a cleansing station. Thanks to the great testimony of Seneca Sodi, I can now confirm that there are portals on the outside of Heaven: “I seemed now to be conscious that we were somewhere near one of the great entrances or gateways into the heavenly world, where all the souls from certain sections of the earth are brought and welcomed.”
They soon returned with my son, who was in utter awe and astonishment of what he had seen and experienced! Little Sonny was conveying a sentiment of, “Man, you haven’t seen nothing yet!” I could feel Sonny’s longing for my son to stay. Then the Holy One let my son know that he had a choice. “You could go back into that body.” He pointed His hand in the direction of my son’s body lying on the bathroom floor on the earth. I looked as well and I saw him lying on his back on the bathroom floor of his hotel room. We could see in the earth’s dimension as if they were together. Actually, they were existing simultaneously together, as I mentioned previously. This vision is what enabled me to understand this spiritual concept of the convergence of Heaven and earth.
My son looked at his body, but he clearly had no attachment to it whatsoever, and, to him, it appeared like some old dirty piece of clothing on the floor that he had no use for. He also began to reflect and I heard his thoughts, similar to, “Why would I want to go back to that thing and have to endure a life of struggle, heartache, and pain when I can stay here with all of this love, joy, and perfection? This is where I belong, I’m free!” He knew he was home. The Lord knew what decision he would ultimately make. So therefore, he knew it would be my son’s appointed time. I have heard many accounts of NDEs that the majority of them were told that it was not their time, and so many others were given a choice. The ones who were told that it wasn’t their time, were very upset to be informed of that and were even angry that they could not stay in this glorious place. “But as it is written, Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God has prepared for them that love Him.”
While I was in the spirit, I was overjoyed for my son. I was feeling his spirit, and I celebrated with him to stay. There was so much love, joy, and peace in our heavenly home, and nothing about this earth made any sense really. This was what life was really all about--coming back to live with Him forever. However, after this experience happened and my psyche was pulled back into my flesh, my mind and emotions boxed with me once again. I felt hurt that he didn’t think about me, his sisters, or family, and how it would affect us if he stayed. The frailty of my human emotions was thinking, “How could he leave us like that?” Now I know that was completely ridiculous! There’s no competition between the things of this life and the next in Christ.
But the Holy Spirit helped me to realize that my son chose life and to enter into Paradise escorted by precious loved ones, and he will be waiting for all of us. He didn’t forget or have little regard for his family. But nothing of this earth can compare to where he is living now. Now it seems like an oxymoron to say that he chose life because that produces death on earth. I watched my son leap for joy as he hugged his companions as they quickly headed back to Paradise, and he was out of my view. Just as quickly as the portal into the spirit was opened, it was closed. I opened my eyes and was in a state of confusion for a moment because I was still in my closet and unsure of what had just happened or how long I had been there. Surely, I had been in the closet all night, but when I looked at the time, it had only been a few minutes, which seemed impossible to me. It seemed that I had witnessed an event that lasted a lifetime. With a smile, I remember that “with the Lord one day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years is like one day.”
I have been asked why I think God gave me this experience and not others who would have benefited from this type of experience with their loved one? I cannot answer that. But I do KNOW that he gave it to me because I would have been in enormous and probably dysfunctional prolonged grief based on my religious ideas that my son was in hell. Because he wasn’t active in church and really walking faithfully with God at the time of his death, although he was saved. But we are taught so much about His wrath, anger, and judgement. But now I fully understand His true and divine love that when He says that He wishes for no man to perish and that some are saved as the snatching out of fire, I comprehend it by the Spirit now!
I would like to say that these experiences made the first two years easy, but they didn’t take away the full measure of grief, although they did bring much comfort.
So now for the After Death Communication, a.k.a. ADC, that occurred during the first year of his passing. I had three different incidents of ADC experiences, but will only highlight one which involved my birthday, eight months after he had transitioned. “Love is stronger than death even though it can’t stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries, it can’t separate people from love. It can’t take away our memories either. In the end, Life is stronger than death.” ~ Unknown
As the night came to an end and everyone went back home, I had finished the final steps of the cleanup and had turned off all the lights, locked the doors, and was en route to my bedroom when my foot slid across something on the floor. I was completely shocked because the house was spotless, and I had just vacuumed and knew that it would have been impossible to miss this rather large object of paper on the floor. So, I bend down to pick it up with a bit of frustration. While holding it in my hand, I saw that it was an older-appearing birthday card and was not any of the ones that I had been given that night. I walked into my bedroom and sat down on the bed to look at it more carefully.
As soon as I opened it, right at the top of the card was written, “Your son,” and it was signed with his signature. I sat there confused and astonished. How, who, where did this come from? I couldn’t understand how this birthday card from nine months ago appeared at that precise moment, on that exact day, at the precise place that my foot just landed. No one could ever explain this to me. There is no scientific or human intellectual reasoning that would be able to satisfy me with an answer. It is the unexplained moments that God can grant to us that serve as a beacon of light that shows us that He is real and He will respond to every facet of our lives. I can’t say if God allowed my son’s spiritual body to place it there or an angel placed it there or Jesus Himself placed it there. All I knew was, it was there! I called all of my girls and asked them if they saw it earlier, or if they had it that night and left it there, and no one had. They were just as bewildered and mystified as I was. This experience was truly a “Hello from Heaven.” I wept ferociously from the joy of feeling His love. When I say His, I’m speaking of the Lord’s. The fact that He allowed such an incredible gift, regardless of the how, who, where, or when it occurred, I felt him, my son saying, “Happy Birthday, Mom!” and Him, my Savior saying, “I see you and I feel your pain. I love you so much and I worked this moment for you to let you know that you are not forgotten.”
So you see, my son had attended my birthday party for the first time really in his adult life. Since he has always been living out of state. But the year that he died, he came to stay with me, which I know was all in God’s plan, because He knew that I had limited time with him. So my birthday of 2016 (he died three months later), was a huge celebration and he had gotten me that birthday card and all of them signed it. I just can’t explain how he seemed to have given it to me again on my birthday when he was no longer physically present, yet it was there at the precise moment that I would see it. My birthday 2/6/2017 was very emotionally draining because we couldn’t help but reflect on the fact that he was just with us last year for my birthday. But thank God for the ADC that gave me some peace and joy in the midst of it all!