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LSD Trip to Completeness (NDE?)

Let me begin by saying that my experience may not fit the NDE in many ways but I feel it was as close to dying as one could get

and still be connected to body.  It's been many years since my experience, and to this day it remains a very clear recollection.

Without going too far into my history I'll just say that I was a precocious teenager.  It was the age of pot and acid and mescaline and a myriad of other mind and mood altering drugs, substances that a 15 year old should not be experimenting with, yet there I was.  I had a very good friend who came to my house to sleep over on a very cold and snowy night, and she came with two tabs of very strong clinical  LSD.  I'd taken smaller amounts of milder dosages previously but this was supposed to be very clean and very superior to those.  Nothing in my experience prepared me for the trip I took that night.

From the beginning of the experience I was inundated with color and patterns, something I was familiar with from other trips, but not too far along I became uncomfortable with light.  Everything was too much: too bright, too loud, too big, and pictures on the wall began to change into geometric shapes.  One minute they would be square, the next round and so on.  It was frightening that I wasn't able to control my own mind and I retreated into the dark.  

At one point we looked outside to see a man walking down the street with many trails of his body following behind.  Huge snowflakes fell in the cascading beams of the street light and at that point I could hear my friend asking me a question. It was dark in the room but the light from the street and the colors from the drug seemed to emanate from inside rather than externally.  I answered her question (which I actually don't remember) but I never said the words. Out loud I said "did we just do that?" and she laughed and said "I guess so." Then reality changed.

Suddenly I was aware of being in space.  It was vast and dark but lit by glimmering stars that stretched forever, literally.    

Behind me somewhere I felt the earth.  It was more a knowing it was there, like I could see the light from it's reflection in my mind's eye.  I felt free.  Nothing held me there but floating doesn't describe how it was either.  It just felt more real than anything else I had known.

I couldn't say how long I existed there, but it seemed timeless.  It was within that vaccuum of space I suddenly experienced the indescribable. There is no speakable word in the language of humans, but I was given the term "everything" within my consciousness to help me understand.

In a split second I was back, and I was purging.  I suppose that the violent vomitting was the result of slamming back to earth and into my body along with the over stimulated physical sensations that the drug produced.  To this day I still wonder what else I saw or experienced that I can't remember.  The time I spent out of my body in space was so extraordinary, but nothing has ever come close to the feeling of completeness, oneness that I was left with that day.

Lately I've felt a little lost. I want to find that place of everything again.  I thought that the drug I took that night opened some doors inside my mind, revealing levels of existence beyond this world.  It would have likely been enough to satisfy a younger mind, but as I got older I knew I had been in the presence of divinity, that I am part of that divinity and that there is much more to learn. I now look forward to what comes next, beginning here.

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